Help and advice

[Shardylan]

Hi , I'm currently looking after my nephew and niece and have been for 2 months now there are both looked after children and court proceedings have just begin I have had little to no help from social services and i have now been told by the fostering service that my niece cannot share a bedroom with my daughter as she turns 18 in July the problem is we only live in a three bedroom house and I have three children of my own living here . I want to continue to look after my nephew and niece but I just feel very overwhelmed with everthing . Both children have experienced so much trauma and as you can imagine this does show on a daily basis. I would like to add that one child of my own is only a toddler . But I feel like we are coping well the trouble and difficulty I am facing is that they is so much regulations with fostering and I feel like because we only have three bedrooms this is now going to go against us . I feel like where looking after the children fantastically but it is very overwhelming sometimes especially when we have so much professionals to deal with to . I've spoken to the Guardian about this and the social worker I really want the children to stay in our care but I need support aswell . Both children are wanting to stay with us and when I've mentioned a foster placement or the social worker has both children get very upset but I'm told if I don't pass the assessment then the children will have to go into a placement. And I personally don't think they would cope with that .

[Robin D]

Is there any way you can put a semi permanent partition in the room (or bigger room and move others around), perhaps with your niece furthest from the existing doorway so that they each have their own space, and your daughter coming in late would not disturb your nieces sleep. If done as a stud partition, it would be easy to add a doors and remove the existing to comply with the number of doors to exit regulations.
Alternatively do you have another room that could sensibly be split to make two rooms? It might pay to consult a surveyor

I wonder if you might get financial support to build it. A chat with the local authority planning/building regs team may generate other ideas within the space you have available.

Suzie may be along with other ideas or advice as to how to proceed with Childrens Services.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Shardylan

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you and your family are experiencing at the moment.

It sounds as if you are doing a great job caring for your niece and nephew, alongside your own three children, in difficult circumstances. I can understand that it is overwhelming at times and that you are feeling unsupported.

You are worried about the sleeping arrangements and how they comply with fostering regulations. I think that your niece is currently sharing a bedroom with your daughter but the fostering social worker has said that this cannot continue when your daughter reaches 18. I presume this is because she will be an adult and that your niece cannot share a room with an adult.

Another kinship carer has provided some very useful practical advice which you may want to consider or discuss with the social worker.

I also wanted to add the following information.

Statutory family and friends’ guidance recognises that housing can be an issue for many kinship carers who step into to care for a child or children so that they can be safely cared for in their family. Many families do not have spare bedrooms unfortunately. Children’s services have to take a sensible view of this. Housing issues alone should not prevent children being cared for within their families. But of course, overcrowding or lack of a bedroom space can have a detrimental impact on the kinship children or the carers’ own children.

Children’s services are expected to help kinship carers with their housing needs. The fostering service: national minimum standards(standard 30.4) state that:

In seeking to support family and friends foster carers, the local authority fostering service works closely with the wider local authority children’s services department, other departments, and agencies such as housing, to mitigate any limitations to the carer’s capacity to care for a foster child.

However, the regulations also say the children over 3 in foster care should have their own bedroom or when sharing a bedroom children should have their own agreed area in the room. This may be what the current arrangement is but the fostering team are highlighting this as a concern when your daughter is 18.

Children’s services should help families with their housing needs. This can include:

• Local authority tenants: can ask the social worker to request a transfer to a larger house or flat. This can be difficult though due to shortages of properties.
• Private tenants: children’s services can help the family to find a larger flat or house, and may help towards, for example, a larger deposit.
• Homeowners: can ask the social worker if children’s services will help pay for an extension or loft conversion. For example, by providing a grant or an interest free loan.

This is not something which families have a right to, but children’s services may support them in this way if it is thought to be in the child’s best interests.

I am not sure what category you fit into but it is worth discussing the above with the social worker, as well as the other poster’s suggestions, and asking them to help find a solution.
You may want to update this forum about whether you are a tenant or homeowner too for further advice.

As you are a temporarily approved kinship foster carer, both the children’s social worker and the fostering team social worker should make sure that you and the children have enough support. If you are having specific difficulties or can identify exactly what support you need you can let them know and ask how they can help. If there are difficulties with the care plan you can also contact or copy in the Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) for the children as well.

You should be receiving financial support via a fostering allowance. Please see a link here to national minimum allowances to ensure that you are being paid in line with that.

I am including a link to our advice materials on children in care under a court order for information as this explains all the different processes that happen and plans that are made when children are in care. I hope that this information will help make sense of the level of professional involvement and meetings that are happening, which can feel very intense.

I am also including a link to care proceedings for your information to help you know what is happening in the court process.

Children’s services may want you to consider becoming a Special Guardian for the children. I am attaching a link to our kinship care advice sheets which explain more about this. If you are assessed as prospective special guardians and your housing needs are flagged as a concern you can point out that statutory family and friends’ guidance says that that social workers should try to work with housing authorities for family and friends carers to be rehoused into larger accommodation, if housing is a problem . They could also consider helping with extensions or conversions, if needed.

There may be a kinship carers’ support service in your area. You can click on this link to see if you can find one or ask the fostering social worker to tell you where you may find this support.

I don’t know if there has been a family group conference yet? But if not, that can be a way of harnessing the family support network and helping the extended network support the children or you as their carer. Or it can identify further prospective carers if you are unable to continue to do so. It is good practice for local authorities to offer this. Please see here for more information.

If you would like to talk to an adviser about the whole situation then you are very welcome to call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays). Or please post back for further advice. There may be other kinship carers on this forum who have been through similar situations who can offer you some practical advice and emotional support too.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie