Removing myself from SGO

[It's a sad day]

Hey all, I am looking for some advice. I currently have our daughter on sgo with my ex. He is living with him at the minute as i dont have a fixed address, He's not being very nice about anything and I have asked repeatedly for him to keep me up to date on life events and school etc but I'm not getting anything from him. It's killing me inside and making me feel quite ill. I have looked at getting my name removed from the sgo and moving on with my life hopefully with contact still in place ( unless he decides to stop that too) will the birth mother be able to file to have the sgo ended if she finds out? The last thing I would want to do is cause her anymore upset or trauma if mum comes back into her life and tries to use our separation as a tool to get back at us. Many thanks.

[Robin D]

I am sorry you have not yet had a reply, but it's something well outside my experience. Hopefully Suzie will see this and be able to respond soon.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear It's a sad day,

Thank you for your post.

You say and your ex-partner have a special guardianship order for your grandchild. The child is living with your ex, however you feel that he is not providing you with sufficient updates, which you are finding very difficult. You have thought about removing your name from the special guardianship order with contact still in place. You would also like to know if the mother can apply to end the special guardianship order.

I am sorry to hear about the difficult situation you are in.

As a special guardian, you continue to have parental responsibility for your grandchild, even if you and you partner have separated.

Firstly, you may want to consider contacting the local authority responsible for the special guardianship order, in order to inform them of the change of circumstance. They may have an interest in this as they assessed you and your ex-partner as joint special guardians and because it may change the amount of special guardianship allowance that is paid.

You say that you would like to have contact with your grandchild. You can ask children's services to assess your support needs as a special guardian/review your special guardian support plan. They may be able to assist in facilitating communication between you and your ex-partner so that you can agree on contact arrangements. They may also agree to fund some professional mediation. This is an option you may want to look into yourself - see here for more information on family mediation.

If you and your ex-partner cannot agree on contact, you may want to apply to the courts for a child arrangements order, which will legally outline where your grandchild should live and who they should have contact with. Take a look here. for some advice on information on making an application for a child arrangements order.

If you would like to discharge your name from the special guardianship order, you will have to apply to the courts to do this. The judge will look at your application and make a decision based on the child's best interests. You may want to speak to a family law solicitor before you do this.

A birth parent can apply to discharge a special guardianship order with permission from the court. For this, they will need to show the court that there has been a significant change in circumstances since the making of the special guardianship order and that any discharge would be in the child's best interests.

Best wishes,

Suzie.