niece in care because i ended placement ! BIG MISTAKE ! help me get her back pleeeeaaaasssseeee

[reflective]

PLEASE no hate i made the biggest mistake of my life.
After constant pressure from the LA to take SGO and being threatened that it was SGO or nothing and if I didn't make a decision soon they would have to make it for me and I wouldn't see my niece again I hastely regretably emailed and put notice for the placement to end. They lied to me saying she would remain in my care and I could work with any potential adopters so we could maintain a relationship and it would be an open adoption for her but she would be better with a family that only had her where as I have 4 other children close in age at home and I am at uni full time. I soon realised they lied I had an email and 2 days later they arrived to take her with no preparation just dennis the duckling book they drove 300 miles with a single social worker and took her to carers that she had never even met. Since then that first weekend she had with them we visited but have been pushing for contact since then. We have had a few video contacts but understandably my niece is so confused and distressed after contact its my belief that this is due to the inconsistency and quality the LA are proving her with. She was taken with no regard to any of her relationships with other family members the children she classed as siblings the grandparents she spoke to daily or the friends she made. They are now saying they want me to do a goodbye contact as she still asks and seeks us and they want to work on preparing her for adoption. I need to prepare a formal email to request her back I know how awful that sounds and yes I have failed her massively but if I don't get her back judging how they have treat her I do not have faith in them to provide her with what they have promised and believe she is better here with love regardless of how demanding she is and how hard it was we love her and have always had her best interests at the forefront unlike children's services who just want an easier life so choose to pretend family members do not exist. It is no wonder she shows distress when they have caused her so much trauma removing when it was agreed she would remain in our care until a permanent family was established. We were approved foster carers and bonds were there for nearly 3 years we just thought we were doing the right thing for her and her needs . How wrong iu was. Can any one help me with putting an email together to ask she comes back I realise it is going to take a lot of convincing but I need to start this now as they are making an application of permancy to court for adoption and they wont update me on any thing they said there is no appointed guardian yet and have yet to make an application so can I stop this proceeding?? Please no hate I have so much love for my niece I thought we were doing the right thing but feel I was both tricked and blackmailed into ending the placement as we are 300 miles out of the area for the Local authority and I was refusing the SGO on the grounds I was hoping more support would be put in place for kinship carers with SGO . Thanks for reading sorry its so long ! My niece was 4 last week she was taken in November and was with us since she was 1 until she was 3.5

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear reflective,

Thank you for your post and I am sorry to hear about the difficult situation. I hope that the following is of some help to you.

You say that you were caring for your niece under a kinship foster care arrangement. You felt pressured by the local authority to agree to a Special Guardianship Order, however you felt that you would receive more support if you continued under the kinship foster care arrangement. Because of the pressure you felt you made a decision to end the placement and the local authority have placed your niece many miles away and are pursuing adoption as a final plan for her. You regret your decision to end the placement and would like some advice about what you can do now as you wish your niece to come back into your care.

Firstly, I am very sorry to hear how pressured you felt by the local authority to apply for an SGO. This must have been very stressful for you and ultimately contributed to you making a hasty decision. I think that the first thing that you need to do is ensure that children’s services are aware of your feelings as soon as possible. You say that you plan to send an email and I would suggest that you send this to your niece’s social worker, their manager and your niece’s independent reviewing officer. It would be advisable to explain what pressures led you to make your decision to end the placement, how things are different now and why you feel that it would be in your niece’s best interest to return to your care. I would advise you to keep your email relatively short and structure it in a way which is easy to read (for example using bullet points and not making your sentences too long). It would be important to acknowledge any difficulties that may have existed when your niece was in your care, and explain how you feel that you/the family and your niece can be supported regarding these difficulties. If you don’t receive a reply or you are unhappy with the reply then you could considering making your request via a formal complaint. This way you can escalate the matter if necessary. You can find information about making formal complaints on our website HERE.

It is still possible for you to apply to court for a SGO, however as your niece is no longer in your care you would need to get the court’s permission to do this. You can find more information about this in our advice sheet 2d which you can find HERE. Please see the bottom of page 7 for information about getting the court’s permission to apply for an SGO. However, you may feel that it is not in your niece’s best interests for you to go down the SGO route; if this is the case then I would advise you to focus your efforts on communicating with children’s services about your wish for her to come back into your care under a kinship care arrangement.

You say that children’s services have not yet made any application to court in regards to your niece. As they have parental responsibility for your niece you cannot stop them making an application to court if they feel this is in her best interests. However if an application is made you could ask the court to make you a party to proceedings as prospective special guardians. If the court agrees to this then you may be entitled to legal aid. You can find out more information about this in our advice sheet 2d (link above).

It is important to highlight that adoption can only be considered as an option for a child if the court is satisfied that there is no one else in the child’s family and friends’ network who can care for them. You can find more information about this on our website HERE. If the local authority do make an application to court then it would be advisable to make sure you contact the guardian as soon as possible to make them aware of your wishes, as well as ensuring that the court is aware.

I hope that this is information is of some help. Please do post again if you have further questions as things progress, or you can call our confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak with an adviser.

Best wishes,
Suzie