Waiting on an answer to my e-mail sent to social worker.

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7familyCare3
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Joined: Fri Nov 29, 2019 2:36 pm

Waiting on an answer to my e-mail sent to social worker.

Post by 7familyCare3 » Fri Mar 11, 2022 1:18 pm

Hello, I am new onto this forum so I shall try to be as near to the point as possible.
I have also read some posts on here but have had other reading material on other sites about caring for children.
My question today is quite simple I sent an e-mail to my daughters social worker,
my daughter has 3 children and her family are involved with social services.
I emailed him to ask for a Family Group Conference which I feel may benefit us.
I had asked for one about 4 months ago but nothing was arranged and as my daughters case was still ongoing I just waited.
During that 4 month period my daughters older sister who is single moved in with her. Apparently this was to help out mother of the children. The case has reached a point that social services are saying that my oldest daughter can be a foster carer to the children and the mother of the children must leave the house. My daughter does silly things but the children have never suffered physical abuse or even been smacked in their lives so they are being very hard to her. The children will suffer trauma if their mother just has to get out and leave them. I told my daughter not to sign anything and contact her solicitor as she has got one. I told my daughter they will have to go to court about care proceedings and also help my daughter to find somewhere to live if that is what is planned. My daughter has been told by social services that she will have to find her own acommadation and it is nothing to do with them, Surely they do not have the power to put her out on the street.
The latest e-mail I sent to the social worker was one week ago and as I have already said he has not replied. He usually speaks with my daughters and mainly ignores me which I find rather rude. Any advice would be helpful. Thank-you.

7familyCare3
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Nov 29, 2019 2:36 pm

Re: Waiting on an answer to my e-mail sent to social worker.

Post by 7familyCare3 » Tue Mar 15, 2022 12:23 pm

This is an update to my first post and so far I have not had any reply from anyone.
I did not go into a lot of detail mainly due to risking any identity being recognised.
Both my daughters want contact from me in their lives but they are secretive in letting me know all that is happening with the Social services. I know almost everything anyway as it has been myself since the birth of the first child that has done as much as possible to keep the children out of the care system. There are no fathers on the scene and one father to two of the children has been in prison and he has been told to get a solicitor and seek contact through a contact center which he has not bothered to do. The father to youngest child is unknown there was a young man that apparently was the father but after DNA was done it was confirmed he is not. It is all a mess particularly for the children who are the ones I am only concerned about and always have been. I have still heard nothing from my e-mail to social worker about a group conference and quite honestly feel like giving up as my voice always goes unheard. O ne of these days the social services will remove those children and that will be that but it is not for want of me trying my best to do something.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Waiting on an answer to my e-mail sent to social worker.

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Mar 17, 2022 12:20 pm

Dear 7familyCare3

Welcome to the Kinship Carers’ forum and thank you for your posts. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear of the difficulties that your family is experiencing. I will reply to both your posts here.

I can see that you are worried about your daughter and her children and wanting to help. You have contacted the family’s social worker to propose that they arrange a family group conference (FGC) to assist your family. I agree that an FGC could be really beneficial and is definitely something we would recommend when children’s services are making plans to keep children safe and well-cared for in their family. A parent with parental responsibility e.g. your daughter would need to agree for this to happen so this would be a matter for the social worker to discuss directly with her.

Although there has not been an FGC it seems that there is an agreement in place for the children’s aunt to become their kinship foster carer if their mother moves out. You are right to encourage your daughter to get legal advice so that she can make an informed decision about this. Children’s services could ask your daughter to agree to this i.e. to agree to a voluntary section 20 arrangement or they could go to court as you suggest to apply for interim care orders as part of care proceedings. It is vital that your daughter understands what is being suggested and how children’s services propose to do this. You could support your daughter in contacting a solicitor with children law accreditation or she could give our freephone advice line a call to discuss with an adviser. The number is 0808 8010366 and lines are open from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, Mon to Fri.

The following information should be helpful too:

children in the care system under voluntary arrangements (section 20)

care (and related) care proceedings

kinship care: children living with relatives and friends .

It must be very frustrating that you have not yet had a response from the social worker and that you feel that your voice is unheard. Family members have a range of knowledge and history about what is happening and what support children may need. So social workers do need to consider information or suggestions from family members. However, they cannot share confidential information without the parent’s consent. You mention that your daughters are a bit ‘secretive’ about what is going on with children’s services. Do you know why this might be?

In the situation you have described you have put forward a practical proposal and I think the social worker should get back to you to confirm that they have received your email and, if they can, to let you know if an FGC is being arranged/if you are invited. If you haven’t heard back within 10 working days you could forward your email to the social worker’s manager, adding that you have not had a response and chasing this up. If you need to,you could make a complaint.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

7familyCare3
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Joined: Fri Nov 29, 2019 2:36 pm

Re: Waiting on an answer to my e-mail sent to social worker.

Post by 7familyCare3 » Thu Mar 17, 2022 2:47 pm

Hello Suzie

Thank-you very much for your reply and you have given me some good advice and also some links that are most helpful.
In regard of an FGC I asked for one some time ago but the social worker told me when I phoned him that although he had it in his notes it had not been actioned and he would chase it up. My daughter never mentioned anything to me about the social worker discussing an FGC with her and as far as I know there has not been one.

As there has not been an FGC it seems that my daughter(mother of the children)
and my other daughter who lives with her now must have both had discussions with Childrens Services about the eldest daughter becoming a Foster carer or Kinship carer because the information they are telling me is what I have told you. The daughter (mother of children) is saying that although her sister was moving in to help with the children nothing had been agreed about an agreement for the aunt to be the carer.

When I say that my daughters are secretive about childrens services and what is going on I mean that between them I get conflicting stories and details which makes it difficult to know which of them is fully telling me the truth. The daughter (mother of the children) has told me she wants her sister to move out and wants to take care of the children herself. My other daughter told me that she wakes all of them up on school mornings and her sister still lays in bed and some days the children miss school which childrens services are aware of. Eldest daughter works from home and only goes into the office once a week so I said that she could do the childrens school run in the mornings in that case and let the other daughter pick them up. After all if she has the children she will be expected to do things like that anyway, but she told me if her sister is in the house then it is her job, it just seems to me that between the two of them they have no plan to run the home together and they are just making the best of a bad job. Last week the day I knew my eldest daughter would be at the office for work I went to the house as I wanted to get a better understanding of what is going on and wanted to see the other daughter.
At the house was eldest daughter saying she did not have much work at the office to see and just stayed home and done some work at home. I feel that they are only telling me half the story, both of them know how much I have done for the children and they are my most important concern so it is frustrating to see this happening.

I have not heard back from my e-mail to the social worker about the FGC and I will chase it up and find out if he has spoken to my daughter about it and if an FGC is being arranged and if I am invited. I sent the e-mail nine days ago and he hasn't even confirmed he received it, perhaps I should check with his main office as I had to get the e-mail address from them as usually I phone the office and ask them to get him to call me back anyway I will get on with that.

Thank-you for your help Suzie.

7familyCare3
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Nov 29, 2019 2:36 pm

Re: Waiting on an answer to my e-mail sent to social worker.

Post by 7familyCare3 » Thu Mar 17, 2022 11:39 pm

Dear Suzie,

Thank-you for your reply, just another post to you in regard of the FGC that I wanted to arrange. I still had not had an answer from the social worker about e-mail so I phoned his office just to make sure I had been given the correct e-mail and it was the correct one. T he secretary gave me the social workers telephone line and told me to phone him if I wanted to. I thought it may be quicker than waiting on e-mails so phoned him.

The information from him clarified things for me. "1", at the meeting a few weeks ago social worker had told both daughters that the plan that had been arranged for the children was not being followed and producing good enough progress, "2" the agreement was that if things improved that would be good but if nothing improved then children's services would go to court and have the children put in the care of eldest daughter. I asked the social worker if mother of children was fully aware of just what that means and is aware that she cannot live with eldest daughter if she has the children. He told me he had spoken to her on two occasions and she understood. I also enquired about my daughter having to leave the house that had been allocated to her and her children and it had not been allocated to eldest daughter. He confirmed to me that he had not looked into the case of how that works with the council and there was a possibility that eldest daughter would have to be given a different house and then take the children with her, something he would do. The order for social services to have joint say to decisions about the children is going into the court so things may move sooner rather than later. I enquired why there had been no meeting to look at any further family that were available to the children and he told me that my daughter (mother of the children) had not requested myself to have them and also there is an aunt on the fathers side that has also had contact with children and she was not
mentioned either. I got the impression that social worker wants my oldest daughter to take the children and he told me that once she starts her time with them she will be on a six week trial period to see what happens. I still persisted about the FGC although if things are going to court then perhaps it is not appropriate right now.
I told social worker I am always going to say I am available to be here for my grand-children and he replied he would keep me up to date on things although so far he has not. I do not know what to do now as he made things sound so final so do I just wait for the outcome. I am assuming that if eldest daughter gets the children she will be recognized as a foster carer and they will allocate her fees for doing that. Only last week I asked eldest daughter have they spoken to her about money and she said no. If she has the children then she will not be able to work as they will take up a considerable amount of time. Although I try not to worry I cannot help it and it seems much upheaval is on it's way. Any more advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Waiting on an answer to my e-mail sent to social worker.

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Mar 25, 2022 12:25 pm

Dear 7familyCare3

Thank you for your further updating posts. It is good to hear that you managed to speak to your grandchildren’s social worker and that they were able to give you some feedback on their situation and future plans.

I can see that you are worried about what will happen in relation to the care of your grandchildren and also how this will impact on your daughter, their mother, in terms of her housing.

From what you say, it seems that children’s services are beginning care proceedings to apply for an interim care order for the children. Their care plan is for the children to remain in the care of their maternal aunt who must be temporarily and later fully approved as a kinship foster carer in order for the placement to be lawful.

It seems that the children’s mother is being asked to move out of the family home so that the children can remain there safely and to prevent disruption for them. Of course, her accommodation needs must also be addressed. If she is a council or housing association tenant then her housing officer should be involved with children’s services in this decision including what the arrangements for the children’s mother will be. She will be entitled to legal aid to have representation from a childcare lawyer. She should look for a suitable solicitor now, as advised in my previous response. Children’s services will provide her with a formal letter stating their intentions which will allow her to access a solicitor.

Your older daughter may find this advice sheet 2 g) on becoming a foster carer helpful. Your daughter will receive a fostering allowance if she is the children’s kinship foster carer.

It is good that both you and the children’s paternal aunt are also potential carers for them. However, it seems that the children’s mother’s priority is for her sister to care for them and that she is seen as suitable to do so, at least temporarily, by children’s services. There may well still be an FGC as you have requested and which is, as I have mentioned, good practice.

I hope this helps.

Please post back or call the freephone advice line on 0808 8010388 Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, if the situation changes or you need further advice.

Best wishes

Suzie

7familyCare3
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Nov 29, 2019 2:36 pm

Re: Waiting on an answer to my e-mail sent to social worker.

Post by 7familyCare3 » Wed Mar 30, 2022 2:24 pm

Dear Suzie,

I have the information that the social worker approached my daughters council
and then the council rang her. My daughters housing officer has told her that if she gives up her council tenancy then she will be making herself intentionally homeless and they will not help her further. I advised her to keep her tenancy at the moment
and also to speak to her solicitor urgently as she has one.
When this news was explained to my other daughter ( the maternal aunt) she was not happy and phoned the social worker to enquire what will happen if her sister does not move out. The social worker told her to urgently look for a private rented property for her and the children and the costs would be taken care of by the authority. As I have said she has been temporarily approved by social services but I understand that she will be fully approved at a later time for the placement to be lawful.
As you understand I am worried about my daughter (mother of the children) it has finally sank in what is happening and the social worker even managed to get the case moved forward it is next week. I am trying to stay neutral to everything only I know that eldest daughter has been pushing the social services to speed things up as she wants to fully get the children without her sister present to me it is all really sad. I am doing my best to stay focused and keep my emotions in check but daughter (mother of the children) is becoming more and more distressed and I
am unsure how I will manage her after the case has started.
Also what will happen with my daughters benefits? she will lose most of her money that she gets for the children and does she have to hand over the child benefit to her sister? I know nothing about these sort of cases as I have never experienced them.

In regard of the FGC I have heard nothing more. My daughter told me she has put my name forward to social worker as another family member that is close to the children. On another issue I e-mailed the social worker once more to enquire about contact once things go to court as I had spoken to him about that in the telephone conversation I had with him. The e-mail address that I had been given and had originally used for the first message had been classed as delivered. but he said he did not see it. I used the same e-mail address to enquire about contact
and the message was returned as unable to be delivered. I do feel that social services are intentionally blocking any communication from me and are pressing forward regardless as they have their sights set on giving the children to my eldest daughter. I was going to put forward a contact order through the courts a few months ago but did not now I wish I had gone ahead with it. My daughter (mother of the children) has even been saying to me that she does not want her sister to have the children and she has put other family names forward.
This is all too complex and trying to understand everything is hard. The start of action in court is next week and my eldest daughter has already told her brother she thinks she has found a private rented property and all she needs is the local authority to pay it. It seems to me that between my eldest daughter and social services they have alrteady prepared themselves for the outcome they want and
my poor other daughter will be left to deal with the outcome she gets on the day.
I do not know what else to do.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Waiting on an answer to my e-mail sent to social worker.

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Apr 06, 2022 11:14 am

Dear 7familyCare3,

Thank you for your further post and my apologies for not responding sooner.

You ask what will happen to your daughter’s benefits if the children are no longer in her care. It is the case that if the children are no longer in her care then she will stop being eligible for child benefit. With regards to any other benefits she receives please see here for a link to our advice sheets. Your daughter may find it helpful to read Advice Sheet 1a What happens to parents’ welfare benefits when their child becomes looked after?

You say that you have tried to email the social worker but that he said that he didn’t receive your first email and the second has come back as undeliverable. It may be that you do not have the correct email address or have made a small spelling mistake – I would suggest that you ring children’s services main line and request them to give you the email address. Then you can send the requests to the social worker again. It may also be worth asking for the manager’s email address and raising your concerns with them, particularly in regards to the FGC which the social worker had previously said that he was chasing up.

It sounds as if your daughter (the mother of the children) will need some emotional support if the children are removed from her care. MATCH mothers is an organisation that supports mothers who are apart from their children for a variety of reasons. She may find it helpful to contact them for some non-judgmental support.

I hope that this is of some help. If you ever wish to discuss this with an adviser on the phone then please do call our free, confidential helpline (0808 801 0366) or of course you can post back here.

Best wishes,
Suzie

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