Advice required.

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Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Dec 09, 2020 4:28 pm

Advice required.

Post by Nannahelp » Sat Dec 12, 2020 7:14 pm

Preview: Children's services.
Hi Everyone.
I'm looking for advice in regards to the following.
My son was in a relationship of which this women fell pregnant.
My son and W are over moon about the baby. My son was buying all things that his little one needs. Then issues started to rear.
1. We found out this women has had 4 previous children.
2. They all have been place in care.
A. W had 1st baby when she was 17. This little one ended up in grandmother's care.
B. W had 2nd baby. This little one was in biological fathers care.
C. W had 3rd baby. This little oneis in LA care due to neglect.
D. W had 4th baby who sadly passed away.

Since my son confided in me with the consent of W. W ended the relationship. My son is so upset.
W contacts my son only when she needs money, stating it for baby. Baby not due till next year.
W is using her pregnancy to get financial gain. She continually harrasses and states that if he don't give her money then he can't attend scans or birth.
I have never known of any one to use a pregnancy for her own gain.
As any one on here been or known of anyone in this circumstance?
I know my son continues to provide financially to W.
Yet he feels like she is abusing is kind nature.
He does not want to cause any stress on W due to her being pregnant of which is an emotional time. Yet she is being so hurtful and abusing him financially and emotionally.
My son as tried not to respond to her messages yet she states that he not a good father and she as stated texting me too.
All We want is to ensure W has a stress free pregnancy. That my son gets to have chance to be involved in the pregnancy and the birth, and have access to his first born child.
I'm lost for word.
I am awhere Children service are involved via the midwife referral.
Can anyone inform me due to W past if my grandchild will assessed as
A a child in need.
B a child in need of protection?
What can my son and me do in these circumstances to ensure our little one don't end up like W other children.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 777
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: Advice required.

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Jan 14, 2021 8:18 am

Dear Nannahelp

Welcome to Family Rights Group’s Family and Friends’ carers’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser. I am sorry that there has been a delay in replying to your post.

First of all, congratulations that you are about to become a grandmother. I can see that it is a stressful time for you and your son as he and the baby’s mother have separated, he feels mistreated by her and a social worker is going to do a pre-birth assessment on the unborn baby. I think that the pre-birth assessment is being done, as you have described, because your son’s ex-partner does not have the care of her three older children.

You want to know if the assessment on your unborn grandchild will be child in need or child protection . Your son should ask the social worker to confirm if they have current child protection concerns and to make sure that he is properly included in the assessment so that his strengths as a father to be are properly considered and to make sure that the social worker is fully aware of the support that you can also offer. When assessing the social worker should learn about the extended family network too. The outcome of the assessment will determine if the baby should have a child in need plan or if a child protection conference is needed to consider if a child protection plan should be put in place to safeguard them.

Here is some information for parents about pre-birth assessments that you may find helpful.

There could be a family group conference offered to help put the right support or safety plan in place or to identify potential carers especially if there is a possibility that a mother may not be able to care for her baby safely. The baby's father ability to care for the baby must be fully assessed including what support he would need.

Your son won’t automatically have parental responsibility if not married to the baby’s mother or if not registered on the baby’s birth certificate. Here is our advice sheet on parental responsibility which might be helpful for him to know about.

Once the assessment is completed you may want to post back or speak to an adviser on our Freephone advice helpline 0808 8010366; the lines are open from Mon to Fri from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m.

I hope this is helpful to you.

With best wishes


Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Dec 09, 2020 4:28 pm

Re: Advice required.

Post by Nannahelp » Sat Jan 30, 2021 9:55 pm

Thankyou for your advice and support. Very much appreciated.

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