Please help

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Joined: Wed Feb 12, 2020 6:16 pm

Please help

Post by Desperado » Wed Aug 05, 2020 3:59 pm

I am looking to return my nephew to his mother who due to many reasons is in a much better way to provide appropriate support for her 11year old than I am.
SS say I can do this but would be concerned about me still retaining the SGO. I am happy to retain the SGO to support both mother and son in Everything such as schools etc but day to day care would be with mum mainly and as a security blanket for him. I would also still not work to be available for him at all times and attend professional school reviews, meetings etc etc. Their is no CAO in place, just as I see fit for contact etc.
Do we need to go to court or can we just do it anyway? I wouldn’t be doing this if I thought it wouldn’t work but it will do. If SS assess I strongly believe they wouldn’t find any concerns and if mum
Was to take me back to court she would win anyway as I wouldn’t contest it but support it so what is the point in dragging it out etc ?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 777
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: Please help

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Aug 07, 2020 4:25 pm

Dear Desperado

Thanks for your further post regarding your nephew. The response (March 2020) to your earlier post would still apply regarding your decision that your nephew can now return to his mother’s care after 4 years under a special guardianship order with you.

From your most recent post, children’s services (the new name for social services), do not appear to object to your nephew going to his mother, the only concern is whether you retain special guardianship. As a special guardian you can agree with his that he will be with her for a specified period of time and if everything goes well, she will apply to discharge the special guardianship order. I can understand children’s services’ concerns about you retaining the special guardianship order, since this would mean that you have a higher level of parental responsibility to the mother who would be caring for her son. As such, you would be able to make decisions for him whether she agreed or not.

If the special guardianship order was discharged this would not prevent you offering the same level of support you mention in your post to mother and son. The difference would be that she would be making decisions about her son. It is not clear why you believe ‘a security blanket’ is needed if it is your opinion that his mother is now able to care for him. You still intend to be there to support them with can be without a special guardianship order.

You could consider your nephew spending the school holidays with his mother to test how things go. It is a decision for you and the mother whether the special guardianship order is discharged and when. If you nephew is living with his mother it is unlikely that you will continue to receive payment of the special guardianship allowance if you are receiving it now.
I suggest that you discuss the way forward with your nephew’s mother and see what will work best for you in the short and long term.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes


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