Advice on my niece coming to live with me.

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Princessx87
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 1:58 pm

Advice on my niece coming to live with me.

Post by Princessx87 » Wed Mar 18, 2020 11:56 am

Hi there.
I hope i'm posting in the right section of the site. I'm looking for some advice and information if possible because the net is a massive place of confusion for us at the moment leaving us with little to no help at all.

My brother and his girlfriend (At the time - their now not together) have been having some really low points in their relationship and from the moment my niece was born in 2013 she has been moved from pillow to post. My brother and her mother have the most volatile pair and my neice has seen and heard alot for someone so little.

Now social services have been in and out of their home, But argee that because the care of my (N) isn't at risk their happy for her to live with one parent. Brother and partner havent listened to this advice and although their not together they cant seem to argee on anything. My brother has just been offered a job 200 miles away which would mean he would have to travel back and forth - Mum has now declosed to me that she cannot cope alone and has asked me if i would have my niece full time.

Dad is refusing this (As much as i love him, my brother is selfish) and he says that (N ) needs to stay with her mother, as thats her job!
Ive been told that because its not a social services inforced move, We wouldnt need to do anything, but my concern is that if brother throws hes toys out the pram and demands (N) back it would cause more problems for everyone concerned. If i do this me and my husband want something in writing to state that she is with us for the long haul which would offer (N) a stable home life until she is old enough to be independant.
There is going to be alot of family members on both sides who will try and cause issues with this because they all have their heads up their :evil: :evil: :evil: and only think as far as their nose about them and their opinions.

I think my main questions are;

Would we be able to get something in writing to say that we are only her care givers - But she must remain with us until shes old enough to make her own decisions?

We dont have an income which would support a small person and all the things she will need such as school trips, uniforms, ect.

Does my brother and N mum need to lose their parental rights for us to get something in writing? Because it would be important for me that N will know what days she will be with mum & dad (As well as other family members?)

Sorry for the long ranted post, hopefully it makes some sense because i have been rushing to get it posted for some answers!

Many thanks

Px

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Robin D
Posts: 1985
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 1:58 pm

Re: Advice on my niece coming to live with me.

Post by Robin D » Wed Mar 18, 2020 12:16 pm

You are probably best advised to go through several of the advice sheets at https://www.frg.org.uk/need-help-or-adv ... ice-sheets. You can be sure that they contain accurate advice.

Please be aware of the following possible traps though:
  • If you take on the child by agreement between the family it will be a 'family arrangement' and you will get no financial support from the local authority. The parents are financially responsible. You would though be able to claim child allowance.
  • You can get all the letters from the parents to say this is permanent, but there is nothing to stop them changing their minds.
  • You cannot generally seek an order to overturn the parents rights. (Known as Parental Responsiibility PR)
  • It sounds like you need to consider a Special Guardianship Order. See the details in the advice sheets. This gives you PR as well as the parents but an an enhanced level so you can exercise it to the exclusion of the parents although they can still take significant disagreements back to the court.
I afraid you have a lot of reading ahead of you before you embark on anything. Go in with your eyes open and it can work out very well. However, disputed cases can get very nasty in court with all sorts of allegations being thrown, many of them false.
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

Princessx87
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 1:58 pm

Re: Advice on my niece coming to live with me.

Post by Princessx87 » Wed Mar 18, 2020 12:30 pm

Thank you very much Robin D. I will have a read.

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