Confused

Post Reply
Nanny Mutley
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Apr 17, 2019 12:42 pm

Confused

Post by Nanny Mutley » Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:11 am

Hi
New to the group but I have found some information on here invaluable
On the 8th October 2018 Social Services called me asking if I could have my grandson (11yrs old)come and stay with me for a couple of days as he had made an allegation that my daughters boyfriend had tried to strangle him. My daughter is an alcoholic and has been involved with SS for a year previously to this. My relationship with my daughter has and is very strained.
SS had told my daughter that if she agreed to ask her boyfriend to leave whilst the police investigated the allegation my grandson could go home but she informed them that she would not be asking the boy to leave as she believed my grandson to be lying. Police investigated the allegation and found there not to be enough evidence. My daughter has since admitted that the allegation my grandson made to be true
My grandson came to me with only what he had on his back, when SS asked for some clothing for him she refused, she made no contact with him for 8 weeks.
My grandson has now gone on to tell SS of my daughters drinking behaviour ( some of this information is very sad to hear, my grandson has really seen, witnessed and been physically and mentally abused) he refuses to go home until she is alcohol free.
SS have since put my grandson on child protection for both physical and mental abuse and put on a care plan.
This was reviewed after 3 months and he has remained on child protection for a further 6 months but this time just for mental abuse. There is now a pre proceedings meeting next week.
I have purchased a whole wardrobe for my grandson and totally kitted out bedroom furniture for him. I have asked SS if I could have some financial help but they have informed me that I cannot as this is a private agreement.

I don’t want to sound mercenary but I have had to change my excellent job that gave me private health/ dental care as it included many days working away from home, I now have another job that allows me to care for my grandson but does not include the benefits and pays £16,000 a year less than what I was paid.
Of course I would never want my grandson to go and live back home until my daughter is free of her addiction or live with people he does not know but surely I should have been offered some sort of financial support in this time?

My grandson’s SS has since gone on to ask me to have parental responsibility for my grandson but due to the relationship I have with my daughter I would rather SS have PR as this could make the relationship even worse.
SS are now holding pre proceedings next week with my daughter and her solicitor and inform me that depending on the outcome I may be entitled to claim foster care for my grandson. They have also informed me that they will give me a free sitting with their solicitor after the pre proceedings meeting.

I have tried to call your number but your line is very busy. My main question to you is have I been given the correct information regarding finances from SS, as when I read others posts on here it would seem not?

User avatar
Robin D
Posts: 1931
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:58 pm

Re: Confused

Post by Robin D » Wed May 01, 2019 2:31 pm

Put simply, if SS contact you, they initiated the placement and cannot abdicate responsibility.

Have you read the advice sheet at https://www.frg.org.uk/images/Advice_Sh ... -child.pdf?
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

Nanny Mutley
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Apr 17, 2019 12:42 pm

Thank you Robin

Post by Nanny Mutley » Thu May 02, 2019 5:20 am

Great, thank you for your reply. SS came out yesterday and said they will now start the foster care assessment, once this has been completed I should be entitled to an allowance however this would not be back dated to the date they placed my grandson with me.
It’s all so confusing 😂

User avatar
Robin D
Posts: 1931
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:58 pm

Re: Confused

Post by Robin D » Thu May 02, 2019 4:30 pm

Regrettably the 'confusion' seems to be created whenever there is any possibility that it might cost the LA money.

Please start making notes of who told you what and when. It seems that people in your position are failing the assessment. Stranger Adoption might be considered cheaper in the long run. If you would consider a permanent placement with an SGO you need to tell the SW making a note of the date and who you told.

If you need more advice on this then advice sheets 20 and 22 should help. https://www.frg.org.uk/need-help-or-adv ... ice-sheets
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

Post Reply

Who is online

In total there are 0 users online :: 0 registered, 0 hidden and 0 guests (based on users active over the past 5 minutes)
Most users ever online was 242 on Sat May 16, 2020 6:47 am