assessment, social services help please

[David Roth]

Hi Bevjane

I didn't really understand what it is that the social worker said unsettles the baby. Perhaps it wasn't explained very clearly, as it sounds as if you're not too sure either. If you have a clearer explanation from the social worker, I may be able to look into what the research actually does state.

It might help the social worker to understand if you could give other examples of when you have been able to stand up to your daughter, and stand firm about not giving her something she wanted. If you are able to demonstrate that there have been occasions in the past when you have not been a pushover, the social worker may see that as evidence you would be abe to handle the situation if needed. However, the offer of a contact centre to assist with managing contact might be a very useful one - even if you do feel confident about handling any conflict with the parents, it can be very stressful having to do this. Being able to use a contact centre might make it easier.

[bevjane]

the outcome of yesterday in court was that my daughter is to have an independent psychiatric report and that her and her boyfriend are to prove that they are no longer together, otherwise game over. if they cannot prove that they can be separate then they will both lose baby.

we are back in court at the beginning of january, and although that seems forever away it gives enough time for things to be carried out. i will be assessed during this period, and so will the boyfriends mother who has now put herself forward although somewhat reluctantly.

my daughter has come to stay with me this weekend and has asked her housing if its possible to get a transfer so the boyfriend doesnt know where she is living as he he will turn up unannounced and any police involvement will look bad on both of them, obviously.

both parents are going to have 90 minutes contact each twice a week on separate days, and once a fortnight i get 90 minutes to go with my daughter to see baby.

what i would like to ask now is what happens during an assessment? both my girls were on an at risk register from their biological father as small children as he was a violent drunk, i have been up front about this to sw and have nothing to hide as they werent at risk from me at all, sw cant find any record of this although i have given as many details as i can, but it was 20 years ago. i would hope this doesnt go against me? i had injunctions at the time against biological father etc. i have recently seperated from my husband of 17 years, although this is very amicable and he is willing to speak to sw to answer any questions. as ive said before, ive never been through this before and would appreciate any advive. thanks.

[bevjane]

i am also desperately sad as im very doubtful that my daughter can stay away from this man, despite the very real possibility of losing her child. i cannot say that im even 50% that she will be successful, i found out that last weekend (i was aware he had stayed the saturday night) that he had also stayed friday night, they had spent saturday drinking in the pub and despite the police involvement on sunday, had spent monday together after seeing baby. they had also made inquiries about buying cannabis on the monday which i believe was unsuccessful. i cannot do any more to support my daughter so i feel im just waitng for january and a horrible outcome.

[bevjane]

they are aware that i will be babys carer should either parent be unable to do so, and i have asked them about baby being with me rather than foster care, but they feel that the situation would be too volatile? the guardian is for me caring for baby with further assessment.

[bevjane]

sorry my daughter came in the room and i didnt want her to see! i saw sw report yesterday and they fully support long term placement should that be the case. i am worried about my finacial situation, since i separated from my husband ive had to claim jsa so would this go against me?

[bevjane]

there is a lac meeting this week which i can attend too. i wont find out until tomorrow when my contact with baby is going to be. i feel so frustrated that sw wont support us having baby instead of foster!

[bevjane]

we were supposed to have the lac meeting yesterday, get all the way there to find it had been cancelled! the foster carer had left a voice mail for sw on friday that she hadnt got until yesterday!
so now the meeting is for the 6th december.
i have an independent sw coming today to start my assessment and am more than a little nervous, what if i fail?
my daughter is holding up ok, she got the sw report from her solicitor on friday and its not good to say the least. it says that sw doesnt think my daughter can look after baby due to her poor mental health, my daughter takes her medication etc see's her cpn and all is fine with that, she just makes bad choices so how can sw say her mental health is poor when she hasnt yet had the independent psychiatric report?

[bevjane]

sw has been lovely lady. she said it will be an assessment for sgo and will be intrusive as it has to be done by 6th jan. she said the concerns raised from sw initial report was that babys dad accused me of drinking heavily. he is an alcoholic, has attended meetings by court order for his drinking etc and i feel as he wants me to have no contact at all with his daughter is just throwing stuff out there.
i did say i sometimes have a couple of drinks at the weekend or go out with friends or have friends round but not every weekend and i would never call that excessive. she asked if i would have a hair strand test to which i said yes.
where do i stand with this accusation? there wont be any definitive proof so will they just take his word for it?

[bevjane]

i found out last night that my brother and his wife now want to put themselves forward for assessment i wonder if its too late? the assessments have to be in by 6th jan but i know sw hasnt started the assessments on the boyfriends mum or sister yet, although she has her ticket booked to fly over to ibiza to see the sister.

[bevjane]

and surprise surprise yet again i cant get hold of the sw! left her a voicemail on friday, again this morning and neither her or her boss are in the office today! is this a common theme? or is it just our sw?