Court order

[Beau]

Morning, our son has custody of his son. There is a court order in place for this and contact for the mum. The court order states when and where contact is etc. During court proceedings it was made well known to all parties that our son would be moving at some point. This is happening now in 2 weeks, he's let the mum know and said contact drop offs with now differ to reflect this. She's stating he cannot do this as it's in the court order. However it's also in the court order that these orders are starting points and can be adjusted as needed. Where does he stand?

[Robin D]

It's not really the right forum for your query as this one is specifically for Family and Friends who are caring for, or are looking to care for a child. The correct forum for your needs is the Parents Forum, even though your query is on behalf of your son. It can be found at https://www.frg.org.uk/ParentsForum/,

However, to provide a little help, in my view it's mum just flexing her muscles in an attempt to control the situation. Providing the matter was discussed in court or in the the papers, then he should be on firm ground, and it would be down to her to take the matter back to court, if she really thinks it will get her somewhere. That said, courts do like to see parents working together to resolve issues whenever possible, so if for instance, the new drop off point causes mum difficulty with transport, timing etc, then it would be helpful to all, but primarily the child, if they can agree say a mid-way point, or one contact your son travels and the next she does the travelling. Or perhaps, adjust the timing to fit in with her transport arrangements. For one of our grandsons, we had to do for a while we transported the child one way, and Dad returned him to us, thereby sharing the load and taking the sting out of handovers while the situation between Dad and our daughter was still acrimonious. I would think we did it for about a year after which, Dad was happy to collect and return him to the home. Our daughter does not drive. A little generosity, a smile, and together with give and take goes a long way, and it is definitely in the best interests of the child if they can see their parents working in agreement. They are supposed to be the 'adults'. Another alternative if you are able is for you to contact Mum's parents to try to identify exactly what Mum's objections are. Being one generation removed, grandparents can often act as a go-between keeping the needs, and sometimes the wishes, of the child central. It does depend on all parties being agreeable.

You may also find the order has a line saying something like can be varied 'as such as can be agreed between the parties' which can help.

Hopefully you can get something sorted. If you need more help, could you please repost in the correct forum.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Morning, our son has custody of his son. There is a court order in place for this and contact for the mum. The court order states when and where contact is etc. During court proceedings it was made well known to all parties that our son would be moving at some point. This is happening now in 2 weeks, he's let the mum know and said contact drop offs with now differ to reflect this. She's stating he cannot do this as it's in the court order. However it's also in the court order that these orders are starting points and can be adjusted as needed. Where does he stand?

Dear Beau

Thank you for your post, I see that you have posted on this forum before during care proceedings and assume the outcome of those proceedings was a child arrangement order that your grandchild live with his father and for mother to have contact.

You mention in your post that your son in due to move in a couple of weeks and this was known at the time the order was made in his favour. Your grandson’s mother is now stating that your son cannot change what is stipulated in the court order. It is unfortunate that the order did not say specifically that changes would happen when the move happens but if it states can be adjusted as needed (depends on if it states as agreed by the parties. If mother does not agree then your son may have to ask the court to vary/change the terms of the order.

He could get a solicitor to write a letter to the mother regarding his proposals for contact and for her to agree. She may then get legal advice which is likely to let her know that orders of this kind can be flexible if parties can agree.

I do not think a court would expect your son not to move only because mother wants to stick to the letter of the order. She may see this as the only control she is able to exert. She can take the matter to court if she disagrees.
You son could seek advice from Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480, they advise on private law family matters if a person does not have legal representation.

Hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie