Contacted by social worker asking if I am open to be assessed.

[7familyCare3]

Hello,

I am contacting you for some fairly urgent advice. My three grand-children
were handed to eldest daughter as their mother (my other daughter) had difficulties and the court put the children in the care of her sister. It was an arrangement made and the assessment for the daughter was ongoing and had not been finished.
I had some misgivings about my daughter taking on the children as I knew it would be challenging for her, I was supportive of her and gave a good reference to childrens' services. I know that social workers attend the home several times a week when assessments are being done and it seemed my daughter was coping even though at times there were meltdowns from the children, particularly when their mother failed to show up at visitation center. A couple of weeks ago I had a gut feeling that my daughter was growing tired of constant questions and the children playing up, also her sister kept making allegations to social services that her sister
did not know how to care for the children. My daughter (mother of the children then went to the house) which she is not supposed to do and the children got upset. Along with that daughter missed her visit two days later and youngest child had a major meltdown and destroyed some furnishings in the home. That is not a big deal however my daughter who has persevered and had carried on regardless phoned me emotionally upset saying she could not do this any longer and she had phoned the services giving them one months notice she had come to the end of her tether and was giving the children up.

Yesterday I had a call from childrens services telling me my daughter has requested for me to take the children and they asked if I was open to be assessed.
I told them yes and was told I would be contacted when the boss looked at the case. At this time I do feel apprehensive and am trying to think level headed instead of emotionally bonded to the children. The two eldest 9 and 8 have been complete school refusal for several months and all that has been in place was to give them two laptops and tell them to complete work at home. However all the social keep telling my daughter is she is not meeting their needs and it does not look good (this was getting to her as well) She was doing her best and got the youngest to school every day which she was paying taxi fares 5 days a week for in order to do it. I am questioning myself will I have the ability to do much that will be required from me particularly since eldest daughter did not get much support and was expected to get on with it. She found it all pushed over the edge and she has crumbled.
I am now retired but am healthy however I do get my pension and a top up benefit and am able to manage and feel peaceful living on that money.
I know you get fostering allowance but how will that affect my benefits? I do not want to fall into the poverty trap where help with housing benefit is cut off.
I am more than willing to take on the children and spoke to the social services for months telling them to let me have the children and they said they were giving them to my daughter now it has fallen through they have come to me.
Any advice would be very welcome. thank-you in advance.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear 7familyCare3

Welcome back to the kinship carers’ discussion board and thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear your grandchildren’s current kinship foster placement with their maternal aunt is under pressure for the reasons you have described. This has resulted in her stating that she can no longer be their kinship foster carer and asking that an alternative placement be found in the next month. The children’s mother has asked that you be assessed to care for the children. You have agreed to this but have some worries about how you will be supported to care for the children as their aunt did not get much help. You are also understandably worried about how this will impact on any benefits that you receive.

I think that your daughter is in care proceedings and that there may be interim care orders in place for the children. The other possibility is that they are in foster care with parental consent e.g. under a voluntary arrangement (section 20).

First of all, it may help you to know more about the different assessment processes that you are likely to have if you do go ahead. To begin with you will have an initial family and friends care assessment; you can find out much more about what to expect in this guide.If it is positive you will have a kinship fostering assessment which you can prepare for by reading this advice sheet. If your grandchildren are Looked After then legally their carer must be temporarily and later fully approved as a foster carer. You may also be asked to agree to be assessed as a special guardian.

As you have observed the lack of support your daughter received you may need to be clear and insistent about what help you would need as a kinship foster carer. If there is specific help you will need e.g. support to take the children to school or help with contact arrangements, then it is best to set this out from the outset and seek agreement about what will be provided/what will be expected of you.

You are aware that you would receive a fostering allowance as a kinship foster carer. You would not be able to claim child benefit or child tax credit as a kinship foster carer.

There is a lot of information available about welfare benefits and fostering including our advice sheet welfare benefits for kinship carers (see page 11). The government website provide this information about help and support for foster carers and Turn2us also have a specialist guide to benefits for foster carers.

I would recommend that you discuss any queries about this with your assessing social worker for clarification and you can also use a benefits calculator.

This education advice sheet for kinship carers is also useful. There is extra educational support for children looked after in the care system (page 15) such as having a Personal Education Plan and a Virtual School Head so please refer to this for more information.

In your previous posts you mentioned asking about a family group conference but that this did not happen. Perhaps your daughter would agree with this happening now as it might help develop a safe family plan for the children and, if the case is in court, it is good practice to do so.

If you would like to talk through your situation with an adviser please call the freephone advice helpline on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm or post back.

Best wishes

Suzie