Sgo contact arrangements

[womanoferin]

Hi I am new to this site and would like some advice I currently have a sgo for my granddaughter 3 year's old I have had her from 8 months old my son (her father) also lives with me the court order stated that the mother could have contact with supervision of her brothers since then I have tried different kinds of contact currently unsupervised and pre arranged however lately my gd comes back clinging to her mum's neck crying and it takes me ages to settle her down and her mother makes arrangements for her and gd to do things and go places without asking me which I have shut down she also tries to make dr's appointments behind my back over the past years I have had her being abusive to me verbally by messages and letting my gd down on contact days due to being hungover I have asked the local authority to arrange different contact away from my premises..ie contact centre and was told they could arrange the place but I would have to take my gd there leave her for couple of hours and come back for her I'm in my 60s and live in a different borough from mother and SS this week I have been bombarded with messages and texts re: gd birthday this week if I ignore her she gets her mother and brother to harass me too both parents still have parental responsibility do I have the authority to stop contact or will it have to go back to court the judgement say's any changes to the order should be emailed to the judge the sgo is until my gd is 18 I'm at my wit's end over this and feel the behaviour of my gd after contact will get worse the older she gets
any advice would be truly helpful thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear womanoferin

Thank you for your post and welcome to the Board.

You ask whether you have the authority to stop your granddaughter’s mother from having contact with her or do you have to go to court to make changes. In some circumstances (for example if a child has been harm or says they have been) a special guardian may stop contact but the parent or other person with parental responsibility can apply for (or enforce) a Child Arrangements Order.

Perhaps, in the situation you describe, in the first instance you might try (if it is possible) to have a conversation with the mother let her know what happens when your granddaughter returns home after she has contact with her.

Our advice sheet about Special Guardianship Orders and birth parents contains some information about contact, you can read it here, do see points 12 to 15. And for your own information please see the advice sheets on our website that cover all aspects of kinship care where you will find information about SGOs made in both private proceedings and care proceedings.

Best wishes
Suzie