Broken confused sidelined and very very angry

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Monimac
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jun 16, 2021 2:23 pm

Broken confused sidelined and very very angry

Post by Monimac » Fri Jun 18, 2021 1:19 pm

I am still very angry and as yet cannot come to terms with the way Children’s Services treated my grandson.

My family have been so traumatised by recent events I myself cannot think straight I have therefore put this in words on paper with no interruptions, no malice and space to think.

I just about understand that they were just doing a job but I must also say the circumstances for us all were enormously traumatic and indeed acted out with what from the outside seemed to all as a cruel way of getting what they wanted. Having said that it must be great to have hindsight on their part as well as the law on your side.

And that decision “so they say” was made by the LAW of the land without a thought for the already twice swiftly moved, vulnerable child in your care and that cold hard decision was made to take my grandson in the clothes he was standing up in not even was he allowed to take his toothbrush or say goodbye to his family we felt that he had been kidnapped. He left his bank card his sim card and his new headphones and everything that is precious to him in my care. Where was the empathy for that trusting young boy where was his voice in all this they didn’t have to hide behind that piece of paper and shift the blame on the court who where trusting in what they were told now all we are left with is pieces to pick up and rebuild he was doing so well at school he is loving funny well adjusted cheeky little man who’s had his confidence shattered once again.

I still cannot get to grips with why I am now not able to see my grandson I spoke with him last night and I could physically feel his sadness and I am overwhelmed by the fact that you won’t let me see him or hold him near to reassure this little man that his family has not abandoned him. and before you say anything I do understand he has to have time to settle in. But he is not going to settle if he can’t see his family or friends he has not been back to school yet? And he is being fed falsehoods. Because of misunderstandings he has lost his trust in us and WE need to build bridges.

Last night I received a phone call from A Keyworker. Another person in the long line of people I have never met. His words were do you mind if I pick up some of His things because we want to make him feel at home. I said yes of course but I am not letting anyone touch his things unless he comes with you. You made that decision to take himself from school in just the clothes he was wearing (didn’t think that one though did they) I offered to take his things myself and look over the place where he is being held prisoner from family hugs and also I would take them to school but I will not let his belongings leave my care with out looking in my grandsons eyes. Why do they think emotional blackmail will heal my heart or make him feel more loved ?

REPLY TO MY REQUESTS TO SEE MY GRANDSON....SW IS ON HOLIDAY AND I CANT LET THAT HAPPEN WITH OUT HER PERMISSION....

ROUND AND ROUND AND BACK TO SQUARE ONE. SOCIAL WORKERS ARE PLAYING GAMES WITH A LOVING FAMILY


Several times I asked SW to bring THE BOSS to our home to meet us in an effort to slow THINGS down as I considered my position from the point of view of my grandson who had THANKFULLY been moved to my house as a place of safety “ ON THE ADVICE OF THE IRO”. MY house was a safe place to be

for my own sanity and my family I HAVE listed the following events in an effort to try and make some sense out of their actions why can’t they see we are good people with problems that are not of our making why do you not see that and treat us with the respect that we all deserve. We are doing our best our decisions are made from LOVE and TRUST and I will continue to support my family and will continue to attend meeting and play my part however menial you consider it to be because as my 17 year old grandson rightly acknowledges I am the GLUE that has held this family together through tough times past and present if you are brave enough to throw your heart in a pond the ripples of love are far reaching and at the end of the day when to sun goes down we all want to feel safe and loved







Chronology of events leading up to the kidnap of my grandson



shock number 1. SW telephoned me and said Has anyone been in touch regarding z
My answer. NO IS THERE A PROBLEM “

Shock number 2. Foster carers Have given 28 days notice to end placement

Shock number 3. We only have a week left and we wondered if you could take him

Shock number 4 we cannot find him a placement because an event that we knew nothing about ???

Shock number 5. Can he come this weekend Foster carers will have to bring him SW on leave


 Of course I was glad to have him especially when he needed his family so urgently


Then came the form on the 18th May two days before Xxxx arrived with HIS STUFF”..

SW presented me with this assessment v3 docs form via email which clearly states assessment for 16 weeks temporary care
and I willingly signed it pointing out to her in my reply email message

Sent from my iPhone 18th May
Thank you I see no problem with answering these questions I will speak with you later. I see that the initial care order is for 16 weeks that would take us up to school returning in September which i cannot see any problem with.

I talked to My grandson at this point telling him that we could have him for initially 16 weeks but that wasn’t set in stone and asked him if they found a place in the meantime as we both knew this arrangement to be temporary and how would he feel he said I hope they don’t then I asked if during those 16 weeks he would like it if I applied for kinship fostering as I had previously I have also had Him and his siblings living with me on a section 20 and then kinship fostering so I didn’t think there would be a problem so I asked to be reassessed thinking I could possibly have him until he was 16 then I was asked would I consider having him until he was 18 so I said yes and the assessment went ahead.



Shock number 6. Out of the blue on her return from leave came a call from SW we will be picking Xxxx up Wednesday to take him to his new placement”

Shock number 7. No one on this side had seen or heard of this place. So I asked very nicely whether SW could seek permission (FROM her boss) to slow down. And possibly bring her boss to meet us and see Xxxx here

Shock number 8. Her reply my boss is on holiday. But I will ask when she returns

Shock number 9. An hour long call from intended placement at tea time when I was distracted trying to persuade me that they wanted my grandson there. I said it was all happening too quickly we needed time to adjust and for xxxx to finish school term

Shock number 10. Promised details of new placement didn’t arrive

With SW on holiday XXXX settled and attending school and no problems and my assessment being rushed through and not even all the facts gathered together..........

The biggest shock....... Grandson left for school. Happy and smiling. I told him be good see you tonight
HE HASN’T BEEN HOME SINCE

THE DAY HE GOT KIDNAPPED FROM SCHOOL BY THE SS I GOT TOLD MY KINSHIP CARER APPLICATION HAD BEEN REJECTED WITH MY GRANDSON GONE NO CASE NOW FOR APPEAL. I WILL NEVER AGAIN BELIEVE ANOTHER WORD SPOKEN BY A SW

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 771
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: Broken confused sidelined and very very angry

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Jun 28, 2021 3:59 pm

Dear Monimac

Thank you for your post and welcome to the Board.

I was sorry to read in your two posts the circumstances surrounding the way that your grandson was removed from your care: without notice; without his clothing and other property; and without the opportunity to say goodbye to you.

From what you write your grandson is under a care order and was in foster care: his placement ended (or broke down) and your grandson’s social worker’s colleague asked you to offer temporary care for him and ‘promised’ to assess you as his permanent carer. You say that they did not keep their word and removed your grandson from school.

Help for your grandson:

From what you write he may benefit from the support of an advocate to help him ‘say what he needs’. An independent visitor, may be the best route, here is some information about their work. Failing this the National Youth Advocacy Service may be helpful as may Coram Voice. If he is able to speak up’ for himself here is information about IROs and what they ‘should’ do for children in care. This information will be useful for you too.

For you, here is some information on our website about assessments of kinship carers for children already in the care system (see the section entitled Urgent situations…) you may need to complain about the way the local authority managed the recent placement and removal of your grandson. Additionally here is a table of information about contact when children are in care and some information about the duties that children services have to children in care.

If you would like to speak with an adviser on our helpline, do call us on 0808 801 0366, lines are open from 9.30am to 3.00pm, Monday to Friday.

Best wishes

Suzie

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