Stuck and lost

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aj456
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Jan 26, 2020 8:26 pm

Stuck and lost

Post by aj456 » Mon Jan 27, 2020 10:58 am

Hello all, I'm struggling with where is best to turn and mostly just needed someone who may have experience in the past I'll try to be as brief, but as detailed as possible.

My niece has been living at home and everything was seemingly fine up until just before Christmas. We had apprehensions about the mum seeing as we knew that her previous child from another relationship has been taken under an SGO and she only sees her in a contact center (none of the kids live with mum apart from my niece).

Since December 13th we've had to take the baby out of the house (either asked by, or persuaded the parents that the current environment is not best for the baby) no less than 5 times. One of the more recent cases was alleged domestic abuse and the baby ended up staying with her sister for a week on the advice of Social Services. But after that week her sister had to hand her back after SS decided the mother was in a fit state to look after her. This is where things get murky.

As far as social services are concerned if the mother and father split up then the baby is taken out of the environment and everything is hunky dory. My concern is that I don't think currently the mother or the father are of sound mind to look after the baby. The mother is having some mental health issues and has advised in the past that she wanted to kill herself, another member of the family has seen her writing what appeared to be the makings of a suicide note, she's on medication for anxiety and depression and is apparently due to speak to a mental health professional soon (but that hasn't happened yet) and since the social services have declared them fit to look after the baby we've again had to take baby out of an argumentative situation.

My concern is that if mum leaves dad social services will believe that it is enough for the baby to be looked after, the sister has passed on her concerns to social services but should I also call separately to pass on my concerns? I have no concern at all that either of them would ever physically harm baby but I don't think it's the best place for baby's welfare.

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Robin D
Posts: 1985
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 1:58 pm

Re: Stuck and lost

Post by Robin D » Mon Jan 27, 2020 8:49 pm

If you have any concerns about the welfare of the child, you should always report it. If you are worried about a backlash you can always speak to the NSPCC in total confidence and they will pass on your concern keeping you anonymous.

Sadly, several children have been killed by ill parents over the years even when no one expected it.

Robin
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

aj456
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Jan 26, 2020 8:26 pm

Re: Stuck and lost

Post by aj456 » Tue Jan 28, 2020 11:37 am

Thanks for your reply - it's not so much that it hasn't been reported, her sister already has an open case with SS and is working with them - I'm more wondering if there is any worth in me reporting essentially what has already been reported so they can see it's not just one person on a vendetta?

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Robin D
Posts: 1985
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 1:58 pm

Re: Stuck and lost

Post by Robin D » Tue Jan 28, 2020 3:50 pm

It would do no harm whatsoever to let them know that you share those concerns. If you are happy to be involved, they want to speak with you. If you know the social worker name, you could contact them directly or just ring the phone number for reporting concerns about a child. It should be on the local authority web site.

Robin
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

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