Worried need advice heard kids mum back in town

[divadi2000]

Heard my 2 grandkids mum(my daughter) has moved back to my town staying at some friend house as shes got no home at moment as she left her last home with the latest flame as they had a physical fight thro drink!!and shes only been with him a few weeks shes not seen kids for 7mths and always drinking and we beleive drugs...my worry is if i bump into her especially when ive got the kids as she can be verbally agressive and has been physically agressive in the past fighting other drinking idiot mates..i really dont want to see her what would anyone do in my situation my son says call the police but i think if i took that route wouldnt look good with social as ive told them ive never had a problem her seeing kids...shes just never bothered her drunken self to arrange apart from once and that is still been processed by s/s to arrange supervision etc......by the way s/s are very little support to me even tho ive had the kids a year..any advice i would be grateful as im worried...i really wish she had stayed away as i dont want these kids upset..

[Kate]

This is a hard one divadi, and I hope you and the children aren't put in the position of bumping into their mum with no warning.

If you do see your daughter out and about, and she's drunk or high, I hope you're able to get the children away quietly and quickly.

I hope you won't be put in the position of needing to take any action against her, but if she was being aggressive you might not have a choice. Setting clear boundaries for acceptable, safe behaviour for yourself and the children - e.g. by calling the police if it was ever necessary - would not look bad to SS. It would show you are able to put the safety and wellbeing of the children first. I wouldn't hesitate to do it if ever I felt my daughter's behaviour warranted it. Things have been on a more even keel for some time, but she used to act up on her visits in the early days after g/d came to us, and I made it clear I wouldn't be afraid to call the police to have her removed if necessary. Thankfully it wasn't and I hope it won't be for you either.

[divadi2000]

Thanks Kate
Your advice is helpful I hope i dont bump into her but in the event i do well at least the kids will see first hand what there mum is up to.. especially as the oldest one whos 10 has been lied to constantly from her saying that she is sorting her problems out and getting better and that she was seeing s/s for contact..and kids let down again by her!!!its all lies but the oldest one obviously beleives her as its her mum...but i would rather they didnt see her out and about to avoid them been upset..i have a long road ahead as just at the beginning of applying for s/g/o...but still waiting for L/A to respond i have little or no faith in s/s at present the way they are treating me and useless with info yet i have cooperated with them from day 1 s/s more like secret service!! but i will not allow them to intimidate nor patronise me!! dquote:Originally posted by Kate

This is a hard one divadi, and I hope you and the children aren't put in the position of bumping into their mum with no warning.

If you do see your daughter out and about, and she's drunk or high, I hope you're able to get the children away quietly and quickly.

I hope you won't be put in the position of needing to take any action against her, but if she was being aggressive you might not have a choice. Setting clear boundaries for acceptable, safe behaviour for yourself and the children - e.g. by calling the police if it was ever necessary - would not look bad to SS. It would show you are able to put the safety and wellbeing of the children first. I wouldn't hesitate to do it if ever I felt my daughter's behaviour warranted it. Things have been on a more even keel for some time, but she used to act up on her visits in the early days after g/d came to us, and I made it clear I wouldn't be afraid to call the police to have her removed if necessary. Thankfully it wasn't and I hope it won't be for you either.