Previous dv

[DC2503]

Hi, I’m wondering if anyone’s been in the same situation as me and can give me some advice. My partner of 6 mths (actually known him and been a family friend for 7yrs), has a past history of domestic violence. He’s never been violent or shown any aggression towards me ever. My 16 year old daughter had a minor falling out with him where she got the wrong end of the stick so to speak. She actually attacked him without any repercussions. He didn’t retaliate and just walked away. My daughter knows his past because we’ve sat down and talked to her about it. She has a social worker for her mental health and she straight to her and told her what had happened and also said she was scared to come home. She has had a fab relationship with my partner until this point. The social worker rang me and said if I didn’t agree to not seeing my partner while the children were there, she would put a section 47 in place. Of course I agreed. The next day she went to my 5 year olds school and questioned her. I rang the sw to ask why she had done this without me knowing and she said they had put a section 47 in place the evening before. She advised me to take my 5 year old to stay with her dad while there was an investigation. I done this and haven’t seen my little girl for a week now. When I’ve spoken to her on the phone she gets upset and asks me when she can come home. My partners history wasn’t just one sided, his partners had been violent towards him also. I’m still waiting for this investigation to be over. Can someone guide me please.

[Robin D]

You would probably be best advised to call the advice line on 0808 801 0366 9.30am to 3pm. They are still taking calls but are also rather busy.

To me the key issue here is that the local authority have to take matters very seriously, and also protect the children while they investigate. At least your 5 year-old is with a family member rather than stranger foster parents.

The current government restrictions may get in the way, but can you negotiate with the social worker to allow you see the younger child at a safe venue and without your partner present. Or perhaps a video call with your partner well out of the way. Explain that your daughter will be confused by the sudden change in arrangements and will need the reassurance that you are safe and well.

Good luck ..... Robin

Edit to add. Sorry just realised that this is on the wrong forum. It should be on the one for parents https://www.frg.org.uk/ParentsForum/.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear DC2503

Thank you for your post.

I am Suzie one of the advisers at FRG, I understand that you were able to speak to us on our helpline. However, I would like to answer some of the questions in your post as it might be helpful to others. When Children’s Services receive a referral they have a duty to investigate, in your situation you said that your daughter took the matter directly to her social worker and what followed was the investigation. You can find information about how social workers work when they receive a referral in this document Working Together to Safeguard Children 2018, do start reading from page 17 or start at the Chart on page 33.

The social worker should have let you know that a section 47 inquiry would be the next step and that she would like to speak with your younger child as soon as possible. However in some circumstances social workers can speak with a child without the direct consent of their parent. Our advice sheet Child protection procedures sets this out on page 4. In Working Together on page 43 it sets out the steps social workers take when initiating a section 47 inquiry, this too outlines how they correspond with everyone involved.

We have some information about domestic violence here on our website. The NSPCC has helpful information about domestic violence and its impact on children, it can be found here.

Robin D has said correctly that your question belongs on our Parents Board, this is our Family and Friends Board. Do have a look at the Parents Board, you can find it at this link.

Best wishes

Suzie