Contact?

[nana&granda]

Hi, I hope someone can offer some advice please. I am a special guardian for my grandson (I have an SGO). Contact with is parents has to be supervised by me which I find very stressful but I do it so he can see his parents. The parents are no longer together so the sessions are with one parent at a time. My query is, who should pay for any activities during contact for me? His parents pay for themselves and my grandson and up to now, they have also paid for me but now his mother is refusing to pay for me. I have explained that I HAVE to be there to supervise the sessions so I don't see why I should have to pay for any activities that she wants to do. Can anyone help, just some advice would be great as I feel like I have no-one to ask.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear nana&granda

Thank you for your post.

I see that you have a dilemma and from what you say you have always put your grandson’s best interests before your own. You do however ask a difficult question, one the one hand your grandson may have been ‘court ordered’ to have contact with his parents and you are the nominated person to supervise the contact; and on the other (whilst carrying out the ‘order’) you are being asked to fund yourself for events his mother chooses to engage in when she has contact with her son.

One way around this is to set a yearly budget relating to the amount of funded activities you can afford (or want) to pay for and a list of free activities (which may require the cost of refreshments and travel only). If your grandson’s mother wants additional funded activities at an extra cost to you, she should be asked to pay for your adult entry ticket to those activities. You may be able to insist on ‘doing things your way’ because you ‘have the right to make all of the major decisions for the child which can reasonably be argued includes the activities he partakes in during contact with any person.

Alternatively and if you agree, the mother or father may be able to nominate a suitable adult to supervise their contact with your grandson (an adult, known to you and the child, DBS checked if need be) then that individual may attend in your place. Your grandson’s mother may also be able to ask the local authority who supported the SGO for help, our advice sheet Special Guardianship: what does it mean for birth parents? can tell you more.

I hope this response is helpful

Best wishes

Suzie

[nana&granda]

Thank you, that was very helpful. I sent the advice sheet to parents. I've not had any reply yet but it has given me some.e peace of mind.