Challenging professionals. advice needed.
Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 9:17 pm
Hi,
I am desperate for help as I find myself in serious need to find a way forward.
I am a grandmother who by private arrangement took over the care of my grandson due to my daughters drug addiction and inability to care for him. I have had him now for over 6 years.
Since then my daughter gave birth again last year, and the child went into childrens services care. I am unable to take this child on as I do not have the time or energy to be able to give him the care he will need as my other grandchild has complex problems that are on going.
A family member put their name forward to take this child on. Her adult life was vague to us all but it seemed like a lifeline to keep the child in the family.
As time passed, familiarity to this person raised serious, serious issues about her. Having failed not one but two assessments, the family was relieved as it had been agreed that should the second assessment be negative the child’s guardian, the mother and chidrens service would support one track adoption which was being run parallel alongside the assessment. My daughter wanted the adoption to happen as soon as possible to avoid attachment issues and the complex problems it can have on a child. She may be a drug addict, but she is maternal and coherent about doing the right thing for her child, regardless of her own feelings.
The second assessment for the family member summed up all that is negative but it was a true assessment. I am sad to say, that although I am eternally grateful to her for putting herself forward, she definitely is not right to look after a child and it certainly is not in the childs best interest.
The date for the court hearing was nearing whereby all parties were to support single track adoption. I do have the documents to support this. As the mother of the child knew with time she would be giving up the child she stopped going to contact to bond even further as she did not want to cause more pain than necessary to herself and her son.
Her other son who resides with me was and is desperate to keep his half sibling within the family and he would let anyone and I mean anyone look after him if he thought he would be able to see him, which I do understand.
Knowing of the imminent court hearing I arranged through mental health services councelling for both the child with me and my daughter to go through the ‘Goodbye’ process and deal with the issues which happened over three one hour sessions.
On the day of the court hearing my daughter arrived at court prepared for this final process and was told only on arrival that it had ‘unravelled’ that day that rather than the family member who was contesting the assessment and wanted to bring the assessor to the stand a third assessment would now take place. This assessment being a CBA. And wont start until july and end in December. My grandson will be 15 months old by this point.
Surely, a second independent assessment that reads true to those that know her should have been it.
This is not family feuding or ungratefulness, for me it is about doing what is right for the child firstly, then his half sibling and then my daughter.
I am led to believe a CBA is not so much an assessment but advising and training to a degree, to make a ‘good enough’ parent? Is this the case?
I need to fight back and change what seems to be heading for a very bad decision in the interests of the child in care.
This is what I believe is my biggest point of contest.
My point is I feel my daughters human rights may have been infringed as the agreement was to follow single track adoption in april on a negative second assessment. No discussion was had with her regarding this third assessment or her feelings to it. As it was because her second assessment was negative by the time the reality of the family members traits and personality were known nothing was said as it was going for fast track adoption, so it served no purpose.
I feel I need to challenge the guardians decision, to discuss my serious concerns, and as I expect they shall just at best acknowledge my concerns and continue with there ideals. My thoughts lie with proving my daughters human rights were infringed and rather than challenge the decision for the third assessment, to challenge that procedures have not been followed. I also feel the guardian is being manipulated but I can not prove that.
My daughter in addition was not informed, or invited to the three month review. We do not know if it happened as no one was told of it happening and no paperwork of it has ever been given. During the whole process and I am sure so many people feel the same childrens services are so difficult to get to speak to when you want them but fast enough the other way round and it is very frustrating. My daughter has been rough rided and ignored through much of this and her vulnerability has been taken advantage of.
The social worker has been a nightmare through the process and it has only been recently I have been able to arrange a meeting with her that will happen next week to discuss all the issues we have. The child’s guardian is even harder to get to speak to. The social worker will not give a number but has said she would email the guardian to make contact. I still await.
I have dealt with social services before and I know myself when I have begged for help for the older grandson they have just patted my back and said im doing a great job and done nothing. They only patted my back because after not being able to get a conversation with a social worker I went to the office and asked to see a duty officer knowing they would have to see me.
Sorry it is such a long story I have tried to keep it brief and include the most important points.
My daughter does have a solicitor who has been involved with this case.
CBA = Community based assessment.
I am desperate for help as I find myself in serious need to find a way forward.
I am a grandmother who by private arrangement took over the care of my grandson due to my daughters drug addiction and inability to care for him. I have had him now for over 6 years.
Since then my daughter gave birth again last year, and the child went into childrens services care. I am unable to take this child on as I do not have the time or energy to be able to give him the care he will need as my other grandchild has complex problems that are on going.
A family member put their name forward to take this child on. Her adult life was vague to us all but it seemed like a lifeline to keep the child in the family.
As time passed, familiarity to this person raised serious, serious issues about her. Having failed not one but two assessments, the family was relieved as it had been agreed that should the second assessment be negative the child’s guardian, the mother and chidrens service would support one track adoption which was being run parallel alongside the assessment. My daughter wanted the adoption to happen as soon as possible to avoid attachment issues and the complex problems it can have on a child. She may be a drug addict, but she is maternal and coherent about doing the right thing for her child, regardless of her own feelings.
The second assessment for the family member summed up all that is negative but it was a true assessment. I am sad to say, that although I am eternally grateful to her for putting herself forward, she definitely is not right to look after a child and it certainly is not in the childs best interest.
The date for the court hearing was nearing whereby all parties were to support single track adoption. I do have the documents to support this. As the mother of the child knew with time she would be giving up the child she stopped going to contact to bond even further as she did not want to cause more pain than necessary to herself and her son.
Her other son who resides with me was and is desperate to keep his half sibling within the family and he would let anyone and I mean anyone look after him if he thought he would be able to see him, which I do understand.
Knowing of the imminent court hearing I arranged through mental health services councelling for both the child with me and my daughter to go through the ‘Goodbye’ process and deal with the issues which happened over three one hour sessions.
On the day of the court hearing my daughter arrived at court prepared for this final process and was told only on arrival that it had ‘unravelled’ that day that rather than the family member who was contesting the assessment and wanted to bring the assessor to the stand a third assessment would now take place. This assessment being a CBA. And wont start until july and end in December. My grandson will be 15 months old by this point.
Surely, a second independent assessment that reads true to those that know her should have been it.
This is not family feuding or ungratefulness, for me it is about doing what is right for the child firstly, then his half sibling and then my daughter.
I am led to believe a CBA is not so much an assessment but advising and training to a degree, to make a ‘good enough’ parent? Is this the case?
I need to fight back and change what seems to be heading for a very bad decision in the interests of the child in care.
This is what I believe is my biggest point of contest.
My point is I feel my daughters human rights may have been infringed as the agreement was to follow single track adoption in april on a negative second assessment. No discussion was had with her regarding this third assessment or her feelings to it. As it was because her second assessment was negative by the time the reality of the family members traits and personality were known nothing was said as it was going for fast track adoption, so it served no purpose.
I feel I need to challenge the guardians decision, to discuss my serious concerns, and as I expect they shall just at best acknowledge my concerns and continue with there ideals. My thoughts lie with proving my daughters human rights were infringed and rather than challenge the decision for the third assessment, to challenge that procedures have not been followed. I also feel the guardian is being manipulated but I can not prove that.
My daughter in addition was not informed, or invited to the three month review. We do not know if it happened as no one was told of it happening and no paperwork of it has ever been given. During the whole process and I am sure so many people feel the same childrens services are so difficult to get to speak to when you want them but fast enough the other way round and it is very frustrating. My daughter has been rough rided and ignored through much of this and her vulnerability has been taken advantage of.
The social worker has been a nightmare through the process and it has only been recently I have been able to arrange a meeting with her that will happen next week to discuss all the issues we have. The child’s guardian is even harder to get to speak to. The social worker will not give a number but has said she would email the guardian to make contact. I still await.
I have dealt with social services before and I know myself when I have begged for help for the older grandson they have just patted my back and said im doing a great job and done nothing. They only patted my back because after not being able to get a conversation with a social worker I went to the office and asked to see a duty officer knowing they would have to see me.
Sorry it is such a long story I have tried to keep it brief and include the most important points.
My daughter does have a solicitor who has been involved with this case.
CBA = Community based assessment.