my daughter

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KT53
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2020 12:55 pm

my daughter

Post by KT53 » Mon Aug 24, 2020 7:47 pm

hi my daughter is 19 and she has a son of 6 months, They are currently in a foster placement as it was the only way the social services would let them stay together.
There time is nearly up in the placement and unknown what the future may hold for them. Social services have put forward that my grandson goes to live with his daddy, who he only see 3 hours a week at a contact centre, and has only been doing this for two weeks. And he lives in a YMCA hostel. with no job.
My daughter has mental health problems and a personality disorder, so currently not the most stable, but has worked hard and well, with the support group she has, my grandson is doing well happy healthy and his needs are being met.
We feel that she is being punished and discriminated against by social services. and the thought of loosing him will throw her over the edge completely.
Advice would be great
thankyou

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 949
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:25 pm

Re: my daughter

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Sep 03, 2020 12:36 pm

Dear KT53

Welcome to the family and friends carers’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

I can see that you are very concerned about your grandson and the possible outcome for your daughter and her son once she has completed the assessment.

You have not said whether children’s services (the new name for social services) have made any application to the court for a care order. If they have made an application and the court case is ongoing, then you might find it helpful to read our advice sheet Care (and related) proceedings .
Usually, if there are concerns about one parent being able to care for a child then the other parent can also be assessed to find out if they are suitable to take on care of the child. At present the father appears to be involved and having contact which recently started.

You mention that your daughter has difficulties due to her mental health. Is she managing this by working with mental health services and, if needed, is she ensuring that she keep up with her medication. Her mental health if managed would not be a reason in itself for her not to care for her baby but it will depend on other factors in respect of her ability to meeting a growing child’s needs and to understand what these are. The assessment she is having at the moment should look at these and there will be a report to say whether she is able to care for her son even if this is with additional support.

If your daughter has a solicitor representing her she needs to discuss her concerns. She may find it helpful as a young parent to look at this website https://www.frg.org.uk/ypa/

Regarding the long term, have you considered putting yourself forward to be assessed to look after your grandson if your daughter is not able to do so. You and other family members who would be willing to look after the baby long term can ask to be assessed. This would help if, for example, both parents are not considered suitable. If you have not already had one, the family (if any), who can be part of daughter’s support network could ask the social worker to set up a family group conference. Please see our advice sheet Family Group Conferences

You may also find it helpful to read our advice sheets Support for relatives and friends who are looking after someone else’s child and Family and Friends Care: becoming a foster carer for more information about how others may be involved in caring for a child.
If your daughter does not have an advocate to support her, if she thinks it would help to have one then she can ask the social worker or her solicitor about this.

I hope you will find this information helpful but should you wish to speak to an adviser you can telephone our free advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open form 9.30am to 3pm Monday t Friday (except Bank Holidays).

Best wishes

Suzie

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