Social work requesting visit after no further action decision from child services?

[Gfootie85]

I have 2 children one 5 years and a 16 months. So there was an incident in the park on day after school with my 5 year old. This was following her melt down on pick up about not having her scooter to ride home. Just to say it was a complete one off and me and my husband don't believe in hitting children as a firm if disapline. Well so I collected the 5 yeaolf from school with the baby in the pram. We walking through the park and she asked to go into the park, I said no, had took her the previous day. Well she dropped to the floor screaming hysterically so I carried on walking. At this point she normally just stops and gets up. This time she didn't. I stopped a bit if a distance from her, still within easy reach. This screaming continues for about 10mins, she gets up moves a bit closer then asks again about the park and I say no again and she slupms to the floor screaming again. I tried to picker her up to move her away to calm down but she us kicking and screaming hysterically to be put down. So I put her down and in a moment of madness tapped her once to try and stop the hysterical screaming, and walked a few feet in front. A mum looking see this felt duty bound to offer her opinion if how she didnt agree with how I had dealt with the situation, then I guess reported to the school then they reported to child services. Just to say I immediately was appalled at what I had done, apologies to my daughter, we had cuddles and then happily walked the rest of the way home. I've been dealing with personal issues, postnatal depression on and off and my mum new diagnosis of dementia, as a result on occasion feeling very overwhelmed by things that wouldn't normally bother me. Her melt downs don't normally get to me like this. This kind of behaviour from my daughter is pretty regular interns of getting very upset at the smallest of things. She has been doing things like this almost daily leading up to this. We are beining to wounder if she may have some kind of issue regulating her emotions. Well child services rung the next day, myself and my husband gave the information they asked for. Intialky I was told it may need an initial assessment from social worker, but after speaking with her manger the decision was made of no further action but they would refer to family solutions to get us help managing challenging behaviour. Well about a week later the social worker calls on the same day we received the letter of no further action, asking to book this assessment. I explained to him that we were told it wasn't needed and was waiting to hear from family solutions. So he said he will find out what's happening. Well 2 weeks on he rings again asking to do the assessment even though he said he still does not understand why the referral has been sent to him. I have asked if he could please attempt to find out again what has gone on. We were lead to believe that child services didn't think that social services were required to be involved anymore. I rung child services to try and find out what had gone on. I contacted them on both occasions after the social worker had contacted me just to get a sense of what is happening. On the first occasion child services never got back to me on the second time I managed to talk to some business manager who said early help had declined the referral and so sent onto socal worker. Is this kind of u turn normal practice? I'm just very confused and obviously me and my husband are very upset by the whole thing. The social work has been very good though saying her will try to clarify what has gone on, I'm waiting to hear back from the social worker.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Gfootie85.

Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.

You say you have 2 children. Children's services became involved after an incident in which you hit your child. You say you were appalled that you had done this and that you were dealing with personal issues. Children's services initially told you that there would be no further action and that you would be referred to family solutions for support in managing challenging behaviour. A social worker then contacted you to start an assessment and you have now been told that early help declined the referral and you are confused as to what is going on.

Given what you have said, it is understandable that you are concerned and confused about what is happening. I would advise that you write to children's services, asking them to clarify with urgency what the situation is and whether they intend to initiate an assessment. I am not sure why early help may have rejected a referral, however, this may have led children's services to revisit their decision about an assessment.

You can read more about children and family assessments here. Please bear in mind that this is a consent based assessment and therefore you could decline this. In some cases, if there are sufficient concerns, this could lead to children's services initiating child protection enquiries. It is therefore advisable that you clarify what steps children's services may take if you do decline an assessment.

Best wishes,

Suzie.