Pressurised by SS to end my relationship

[Fallpoppy]

Hi all

I had been in a relationship with someone on the sex offenders register for 2 years. We had an amazing relationship. I have a 4 year old child from a previous marriage so social services had to be involved from the start. There were no concerns initially as he wasn't having any contact with my daughter and didn't for 2 years.

I felt the time was right for him to meet her so we informed SS. They did a much bigger assesment and the rules were it cannot be unsupervised contact and he couldn't stay over night if my daughter was present. It also stated that once he was off the register in 3 years time it would still not be allowed for him to stay overnight thus making moving in together impossible.

I ended the relationship as I couldn't see how we could function as a normal relationship if we could never eventually live together. I am devastated cause I truly love him and it's the healthiest relationship I have ever been in.

Can SS refuse to allow us to live together even once he is off the register.in 3 years?

Thanks for any help

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Fallpoppy,

Welcome to the parents' forum and thank you for your post.

You say you were in a relationship with someone who was on the sex offenders register. You have a 4 year old child from a previous relationship and so children's services were involved. There were no concerns initially as your partner was not having any contact with your daughter. You then wanted him to meet her, so children's services did a bigger assessment. They stated that contact should be supervised and that your partner could not stay overnight if your daughter was present. This would stay in place even when he comes off the register. You ended the relationship as you did not see how it could progress with these restrictions. You are upset and would like to know if children's services could refuse to allow you to live with your partner once he is off the register.

Children's services are concerned that your partner, due to a previous offence he has committed, may pose a risk to your daughter. They have assessed him and have recommended that he does not stay overnight in the house when your daughter is there. They are able to recommend that this restriction remains in place even if he is no longer on the sex offender register.

Children's services do not have parental responsibility for your daughter and so, at this point, their recommendation is not legally enforceable. They are trusting you as your daughter's parent to listen to their concerns and to act in protective capacity in her best interests.

If you do not want to follow children's services recommendation, now or at any point in the future, you could technically choose to ignore this. This is not usually advisable as children's services are likely to become more concerned and take escalated action. In the worse case, they may seek legal advice and initiate court proceedings to remove your daughter. Therefore, it is really important you speak to the social worker about what action they may take.

Lucy Faithful run an advice line for friends and family of those who have committed sex offences, which you may find useful to contact on 0808 1000 900.

Best wishes,

Suzie.

[Fallpoppy]

Thank you for your reply I really appreciate it

[Meerkat]

Any outcome op?