Seeking Urgent Advice Regarding Complex Family Situation

[cultural stereotypes]

Hello everyone,

I am reaching out to this forum in desperate need of advice and support regarding a deeply distressing family situation. My wife is exhibiting concerning behavior that suggests underlying mental health issues, which have escalated to the point of endangering our children's well-being and safety.

Over the past few months, my wife has been fabricating stories and accusations, including questioning my paternity and involving our children in these harmful narratives. Despite my attempts to seek help from various channels, including contacting the GP, men's helpline, and her immediate family members, she has refused to acknowledge the severity of the situation.

She has a history of making false accusations and involving authorities, leading to unnecessary distress and disruption for our family. Despite my efforts to cooperate and address the issues, she continues to escalate the situation, causing significant emotional and physical harm to our children.

Recent incidents include instances of neglect, physical abuse, and emotional manipulation directed towards our children, as well as false allegations against me. Despite reporting these incidents to social services and the police, little action has been taken to protect our children or address the root causes of the problem.

I find myself in a desperate situation, unable to see my children due to legal orders obtained by my wife under false pretenses. I am without a job, a place to live, or the financial means to afford legal representation. The lack of support and understanding from social services and legal authorities has left me feeling helpless and isolated.

I am reaching out to this forum in the hope of receiving guidance, advice, and support from those who may have experienced similar challenges or have knowledge of available resources. My primary concern is the well-being and safety of my children, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to ensure their protection and happiness.

Any advice or assistance provided would be immensely appreciated, as I navigate this complex and distressing situation.

Thank you for taking the time to read my message.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Cultural Stereotype

Thank you for your post and welcome to the discussion board. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser at Family Rights Group and will be responding to you today. I am sorry to hear of your situation. It must be a difficult and stressful time for you.

You say your wife has underlying mental health issues that are endangering your children’s wellbeing and safety. Your wife disputes this and has made allegations against you. You do not say what these allegations are.

You have reported your concerns to children’s services and the police and them with your GP and family members. You say this has not changed the situation for the better and your wife continues to escalate the situation, ‘causing significant emotional and physical harm to your children.’

You are unable to see your children due to legal orders put in place by the court. You do not say what these legal orders are. You are unemployed, have no place to live or finances to appoint legal representation to forward your case in court. You are feeling isolated and helpless.

We do not provide direct legal representation to people. We provide telephone, email and webchat information, advice and support to people who are directly involved with children’s services (or wish to be) in England . We do not provide advice and support for people involved in private family law matters. I have added a link HERE to Child Law Advice. They have comprehensive advice and support for people navigating the court system in private law matters. The also have ‘how to guides’ which cost £2 each and a telephone callback services (paid service). Please check out their website for further information regarding this.

You have raised your concerns with children’s services, in doing so, they should have carried out preliminary checks to ensure the children are safe and well. These checks should then influence their decision on whether to intervene in family life to complete an assessment or to signposted on to universal support services.

Children’s services have two types of assessments available to them. A Child in Need or a Section 47. Please click on the links for further information and guidance. They can also refer to Early Help . This is a non-statutory service and the link will take you to further information and advice.

Following your contact with children’s services they should have provided an outcome for you. I.e. whether they are satisfied the children are safe and well or whether they are completing an assessment or referring onto another support service. They will not provide faller details to you if there are safeguarding concerns regarding you. However, as a person with parental responsibility they do have a duty to inform you of the assessment, to seek your views and provide you with a copy. Dependant on risk, information may be redacted (obscure or remove text). If you have not received an outcome from your contact with children’s services, I suggest you email them to ask for a written response to your concerns.

I am sorry to hear you are unemployed. I have added a link HERE to the Government Universal Credit information and guidance. If you are eligible for financial assistance and are not already claiming benefits this would be a good place to start.

I hope you can find a secure place to stay soon. I have added a link HERE to Shelter, a homeless charity that maybe able to offer you further expert information and advice regarding your situation.

I have added a link HERE to the Samaritans. The provide 24 hour free advice for people who are feeling isolated and lonely. Please see their website for further details.

If you would like any further advice, please contact the advice service again. You can:

• Call our freephone helpline on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays), to speak to an adviser.
• Send an advice enquiry
• Post another query here
• Use our webchat facility web chat facility

Best wishes, Suzie