Please help 🙏 😢

[FGT676]

ive contacred a few times before and have updates. September 2021 my nana who brought me up from the age of 4 had died. My mental health deteriorated and I was promised my daughters father would return after 2 weeks. He did not and I had to go through court, December 2022 he got a live with order and since then he has controlled me through the order when it comes to my daughters.

Everything I was accused of such as alcohol abuse etc I went and I got support to prove I never had a problem and that the problem was My grief, i even went and got regular alcohol tests and tests from my gp, when i proved i didnt have a problem social services then said they thought i would use alcohol to cope with emotions, which i also proved myself by joining a programme while going through family court for women and dealing with their emotiions. Unfortunately social services relationship broke down with me because I realised they had already known the girls dad was not going to return them to my care and they had ignored everything around the domestic abuse he had put me through. I was the sole carer of my daughters now 5 and 8 up until March 2022 when their father refused to return. Due to not getting on with social services I had felt like they were personally judging me and not thinking of what was best for my daughters and that's when I went to my local mp about their wrongdoings. After that they then done a section 7 report and it contained lies and they said for the girls to live with their father.

I knew they lied so I requested a subject access request and in this information I seen the proof of the social worker and manager talking about me via emails saying they sensed a complaint so what should they do, I also noticed how they withheld information that would have supported me in court and lied to the judge saying I discharged myself from an alcohol support when infact the support worker had emailed them saying they discharged me because I never had a problem. Since my girls went with their dad he has controlled me, stopped contact, stopped me from going to the school,demanding I do all travelling and completely tearing me down by using my daughters as weapons.

I applied to vary the order and have a hearing 1st march 2024, social services had already closed us off in November 2023 due to no concerns and me going to a meeting about the lies they had said and how they didn't help me and my daughters during the assistance order. Now they are back involved to give an update on how things were when they left, I had found out they went to see my daughters with their dad but did not come to see me and the girls,I mentioned this to them and thats when they said they didn't need to see us as they won't be doing any recommendations to the courts. So I got the updated report through and they have actually put on the bottom of the report that they don't think we should have shared care, which they have made that recommendation and lied to me saying they didn't need to do any. Today they decided to come out and see me and my daughters and I got quite upset trying to explain how the girls father is controlling me and will continue, I also voiced my concerns how social services never listened to any concerns I had around their dad , this is when social services then said that if I go back to court they could be asked to do a section 7 or section 37 and they are worried that if it's a section 37 my daughters will be removed from both parents due to emotional harm, the emotional harm they are meaning is me and the girls dad not getting on which I have tried to explain that its because he is controlling me through the girls, domestic abuse services say it is coercive control but social services just won't accept that and I believe this is because they know I have the proof of their wrongdoings. I am scared that I will now lose my daughters completely just because I'm speaking the truth and wanting the girls an equal amount of time. Currently we have a cao I see the girls 4 days a week and they sleep 2 nights a week. The girls dad has even tried making me lose my new job and saying I have to choose between work and my daughters but I need to provide for the girls and when he took them he claimed all money, so up until I got the job I was living on £70 per week, I got the job to better life for my girls, everything I done was voluntarily and it was to prove I wasn't the person the girls dad was making me out to be. Please could someone give me some advice on what I can do before I lose my daughters completely.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear FGT676

Thank you for posting again to update about your current situation. I am sorry that there has been a delay in responding to your post due to volume of work.

I hope your mental health continues to and you that you can manage this with support from your doctor or mental health services.

From your post, you have been having difficulties since your daughters’ father refused to return them to your care. You believe that since an order was made for the girls to live with him, he has been using contact to continue his controlling coercive behaviour towards you.

Your post seems to relate to an ongoing private law family case (not within the remit of our service), you state that the social worker has prepared a report and recommended that there should not be shared care. This report was done to update the court on how things have progressed since they were last involved with the family, namely November 2023 and you were due to have a hearing on 1st March.

Following receipt of documents after a subject access request (SAR) you have seen information suggest to you that the court was misled by children’s services. Whilst you are not able to complain about what happened in court, it is possible for you to complain about how the children’s services case was managed. You could also consider bringing the information to the court’s attention by attaching copies of the relevant information to a statement. If the court has not directed that you file a statement, then you could ask the court for permission to do so as there is relevant evidence for the court to consider. You should also provide evidence of the coercive control you mention in your post.
Here is information about making a formal complaint to children’s services.

Since the social worker prepared a report for the court without seeing you with your daughters and concluded that shared care not recommended you could challenge this recommendation on the basis that is not a fair and balanced report.

It seems inappropriate for the social worker to say that there is emotional harm because of the relationship between you and your children’s father but taking no action to safeguard the children. Children’s services have a responsibility to ensure that children are not suffering harm, I suggest you ask the social worker to put in writing his or her reason for not offering support to your children now whilst acknowledging emotional harm.

You should ask to have a meeting with the social worker’s team manager to discuss what appears to be a threat from the social worker to prevent you seeking redress from the court regarding your children.

The court may ask for an addendum section 7 report and could, if the judge considered it necessary because of acrimony between you and the children’s father having a negative impact on the children direct a section 37 assessment by children’s services. However, this does not mean your children would be removed from your and their father’s care. Children’s services should make recommendations in the report about what needs to happen to improve the situation for the children. I think it is important for you to understand that there is a process to be followed before a court decides that children should be removed. Here is information from our website about care proceedings

If you do not have a solicitor representing you in the case, you may find it helpful to speak with Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480 who offers advice on private law cases. You may also find guides on this website, Advice Now helpful.

I hope you find this information helpful, but should you wish to have further advice relating to children’s services you can post again or speak with one of our experienced adviser on the advice line 08008 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays).

Best wishes

Suzie