Need advice

[Rileu]

So were do I begin

My ex and I have a child together and my older daughter who is 23 yrs old had an argument with my ex in our home not in front of our 1 year old and my older daughter started shouting and screaming at my ex and my ex pushed her away from him and resulting in her hitting her leg and getting a bruise on her leg from this she called social services on us and so did her employer and from this we had a visit from social services and we had this visit and because well at the time was my partner he got upset and said he did not want to sign paperwork as he thought they would take our child away they made my older daughter go to the police and press charges and he got arrested then social services wanted to remove our youngest child from us as my ex partner has a criminal record from 9 yrs old he went to prison for GBH and also he has a history of smoking weed and also has been accused of stuff but was never charged because there was no evidence against it so basically that clear that laws thing I had to do to see what he’s been accused of, but that can be you. They say you’ve done it but there’s no evidence to prove it. Well anyway they wanted to remove our child from my care but the judge said no and so did the child guardian as there was no grounds to remove our youngest from my care am a working professional never been in trouble with the police and never had ss in my life even as a young mother - but my ex partner is now serving a prison sentence for the assault on my daughter as he plead guilty which is fair enough as he did push her but now we are on a child in need and ss think I am a victim of domestic violence when I am not have gone through the freedom program as that is what they wanted me to do so I did to show am engaging in them as the first social worker visited stated my ex is a violent person becuase of his past and yes he did things 10 years old stupid and was on hard drugs but sorted himself out when he met me and worked full timer and provided for me our child and my other children but now if we ever did decide to get back together after he comes out of prison we could end up back in court

What if I decided to be with him again as I know that what ss have written about him is wrong and is not the person who he was 10 yrs ago how can I make sure we do not end up with our youngest being taken away from us ?
What courses can he do in prison to make sure he has changed ?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Rileu

Thank you for your post and welcome to the discussion board. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser and will be replying to you today.

You and your ex-partner have a one-year-old child together. Your 23-year-old daughter was assaulted by your ex-partner. He was charged and convicted of this and currently serving a prison sentence for the assault.

Children’s services started care proceedings to share parental responsibility with you and your ex partner due to concerns regarding domestic abuse, your ex partners history of GBH – for which he received a prison sentence (nine years ago) of smoking ‘weed’ and what you describe as ‘other stuff.’ The courts and guardian did not agree with the local authority. The did not grant an interim care order . Your child is now supported on a child in need plan .

On the advice of children’s services, you made an application to Clare’s Law . This informed of historical domestic abuse concerns regarding your ex-partner. Whilst you do not believe you are a victim of domestic abuse you have, on request from children’s services, completed the Freedom Programme .

You are seeking information and advice on how to keep your child in your care if you decide to resume your relationship with your ex-partner once he has completed his prison sentence. Also, what courses your ex partner can do whilst he is in prison to ‘make sure’ he has changed.

I would encourage you to be open and transparent with children’s services. If you are intending to resume your relationship with your ex partner then I suggest you contact children’s services to advise of the situation. I have added links HERE and HERE to further information and advice outlining why children’s services become involved when there are domestic abuse concerns. They are likely to complete a risk assessment which will inform further actions and interventions. Probation is also likely to be involved. I have added a link HERE to further information and guidance regarding probation.

RESPECT is a charity that offers information, advice, guidance, and courses for perpetrators of domestic abuse and their families. I have added a link HERE to their website which provides further information regarding the type and level of support they offer. I have also added HERE a link to Women’s Aid which is a domestic abuse charity. It would be a good idea to look through their website and find out what other courses and supports they offer to raise awareness of domestic abuse/potential domestic abuse in all of its forms.

I hope you find this information helpful. To speak to an adviser regarding matters relating to children’s services in England, please call our free and confidential advice line 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday 9.30am to 3pm, excluding Bank Holidays). Or you can ask us another question via email using our advice enquiry form. You can repost on here and we also have a webchat service that you may wish to access. The webchat is not a bot, you will be answered by one of our advisers. Please see our website for further information on how to access this service.

Best wishes, Suzie