Will I be allowed a future with a sex offender

[Welsh Woman]

Hi,
Someone please tell me it gets easier.. I have been with my partner for just over a year. When I met him he explained he was a registered sex offender and would be on the register for life. He pleaded not guilty to a sexual assault - both over 18 and because he was found guilty he had 6 years. I have seen the declaration from the police so I know what he is saying is true. With his licence Conditions he has to state if he gets involved with a woman especially if she has children under 18. We didn't do this and minimum time is to 1 year. So that's what he had. Like everyone else I was threatened that my kids would be taken off me by social services if I didn't end the relationship. I know I am an amazing mother and knew that I would not put them at risk. A year later they are still on the child register for emotional harm in case my partner hurts me and they witness this. My social worker has never seen a case like mine, as all 4 of my children are doing well, they see their father etc. But I will not be threatened on who I can and can't be in a relationship with. My question is, does this go on forever? Will they remain on the register forever? What if we decide we want to get married etc. Its been a bloody tough year, my eldest child and parents won't talk to me because of who I am choosing to be in a relationship with thank you for reading

[Need help 2021]

Hi check your inbox

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Welsh Woman

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents’ discussion forum.

From your post I can see that you are in a relationship with a registered sex offender and concerned about children’s services involvement. Your children are on a child protection plan and have been for a year now and you want to know how long this process is likely to last and how it will impact your future with your partner.

The children are on the child protection plan because of your partner’s history and the fact that he a registered sex offender a children’s services and other professionals consider that it is necessary to ensure the children are safeguarded. I am not sure the child protection plan is only because your children may see if your partner hurts you, it may also be concerns whether they may be at risk themselves because of the history.

Children’s services may be concerned that you are putting your needs before those of your children. It is your decision if you remain in the relationship, but they can make recommendations that your partner should not be in contact with your children although I noticed in another of your post you stated children’s services were working towards your partner being able to see your children.
In response to your specific questions:

does it go on forever? Will they remain on the register forever?

You would have had at least a couple review child protection conferences since the plan was made and will continue to have these whilst the children remain on a child protection plan. It is possible for children’s services to de-escalate to a child in need plan. However, a decision will need to be made about how the children can continue to be safeguarded if you remain in the relationship. This could mean children’s services (depending on their policy about child protection) decide to seek legal advice whether an application should be made to the court so they can share parental responsibility. Information about child protection can be found here and here is information about care proceedings

What if we decide to get married?

Children’s services cannot prevent you getting married if you chose to do so but if the children are still considered to be at risk of harm there is likely to be an expectation that your partner will not live in the same place with the children.

The above responses will depend on how things progress and whether children’s services is satisfied that the children can and are being safeguarded appropriately. You do not mention the children’s ages in your post, but this will be of significance as the older children are, it may be the view that they are better able to express themselves and what happens to them.

Should you wish to speak with one of our experienced advisers, you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays)

I hope this will be useful to you.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Welsh Woman]

Thank you for your reply, it has been helpful. My children who live with me are 15,10 & 7. They see their dad every other weekend and he attends the core meetings that we have monthly.
The only concerns they have is that he hit and was convicted of sexual assault to his then partner 10 years ago. No children present. He has not been convicted of a crime since. However due to his licence of the register he has to disclose any women he is with and he didn't with me because he was worried social services would threaten to take my children off me. Which they did. I have been accused of being groomed and manipulated. A year on and him having to spend 6 months in prison because of our relationship and not disclosing it, and seeing the social worker every 10 days, she has got to know me as a mother and knows I can keep my kids safe and I would not be in a un healthy relationship. I think they have been waiting for me to end the relationship. I have stated to them how can they manage risk if he can't see me with the children. So I have asked for safety plans to be put in place for when we all spend time together. They have said my children can come off the register if I signa declaration that he won't see the kids even though he has NEVER hurt a child or a mother while their children present.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Welsh Woman

Thank you for your follow up post.

In respect of your children - all children’s voices should be ‘heard’ within children’s services’ assessments and interventions. The ‘weight’ given to this is often age dependant, taking into consideration any additional needs. The child’s voice is a phrase used to describe the real involvement of children and young people. It means more that seeking their views, which could just mean the child saying what they want, rather than being really involved in what happens.

Your partner did not disclose his history to you, this is a concern and will raise 'red flags' to children’s services. You may disagree with their views that you are being groomed and manipulated however, it would be a good idea to seek some further insight and information regarding such matters. I have added a link HERE to the Lucy Faithful Foundation. They provide direct support to individuals in a position to prevent abuse, including those affected by abuse and those perpetrating it, or at risk of doing so. This is their confidential helpline 0808 1000 900

It is positive you are working with the social worker and that you are seeking solutions to your situation. Children’s services and families should work in collaboration with each other when it is safe to do so. A safety plan is usually a personalised document that will support you and your family to manage the issues and concerns that the Local Authority have. There may be things in the safety plan that you are asked to do or not to do to ensure your children’s safety at home. Safety plans (and written agreements) are voluntary arrangements put in place by the Local Authority, with the help of the family, to help reduce the concerns and issues that the Local Authority have identified within the family. Although the plan is voluntary, if you do not adhere to it this can cause the Local Authority to have more worries about your children within the home and this may result in them making an application to the Court for an Order. Please see HERE for further information and guidance.

Safety plans (and written agreements) are not legally binding documents, and you cannot be forced to sign one and should you break the plan you cannot be sued for breach of contract. However, the Local Authority can rely upon the plan and use it as supporting evidence if an application is made to the Court. If you do breach a plan then the Local Authority may use this as evidence that you are not working honestly with professionals and not making the necessary changes to provide adequate care for your children. Alternatively, if you do sign and adhere to the safety plan this can also be used as evidence in Court to show that you are engaging well with professionals and making the necessary changes to care for your children safely.

It is vital before you sign a safety plan that you have had the opportunity to be a part of the making of it. You must ensure you fully understand the document and are confident that you can comply with what is in the plan before you sign. If there is any parts of the plan that you are unsure about then you should ask for this to be clarified. If you are still unsure about any part of the plan then you can seek legal advice before signing any documents. I have added a link HERE to the Law Society who have a facility to find a solicitor in your local area.

I hope you find this information helpful. To speak to an adviser regarding matters relating to children’s services in England, please call our free and confidential advice line 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday 9.30am to 3pm, excluding Bank Holidays). Or you can ask us another question via email using our advice enquiry form . You can repost on here and e also have a webchat service that you may wish to access. The webchat is not a bot, you will be answered by one of our advisers. Details HERE .

Best wishes, Suzie