How can dad return to family home

[Lostinmind]

Hi everyone.
Back in December my husband who is my full time carer was asked to leave family home whilst a section 47 was carried out. He did so and is living in a caravan on his mom's drive.
From this a conference took place and our 2 children (15/11) were placed on a child protection plan due to husbands drinking (7-8 cans of general strength lager per night).
Social worker has visited our home weekly but has not engaged with my husband except when he has attended core meetings.
He has had no face to face contact with the children for 9 weeks now despite him constantly requesting visitation at a centre or with a second party (he has provided details of who and where and these ppl are already dbs checked) but still no access.
Husband has accessed services himself for help with his mental health and drinking and is doing amazingly. Over the 9 weeks they have weened him down from 7-8 cans of beer per night to 1.
My question is how and what does my husband have to do to prove he is safe to return home?
There reason for him to leave is for negative impact on childrens emotional welbeing due to his drinking. (Yet 15 year old has attemped suicide 3 times in past month due to not being able to see his dad so surely that is effecting his emotional welbeing more?) Husband has never been violent and police have no issues with him.
Thank you for any advice in advance

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Lostinmind

Thank you for your further post. I can see how difficult things are for you and your family at the moment.

Your query is about what your husband can do to prove that he is safe to return home. You state that he is not yet even having contact with his children, despite requesting that this take place at a contact centre or be supervised by a safe neutral person.

You are worried about the emotional impact this is having on your children’s wellbeing. It is concerning that your 15 year old son has made suicide attempts x 3 times in the past month. It is important that your son is offered the right support to help him manage his feelings of distress. Your children’s social worker should be fully aware of these incidents, and should assess your son’s current needs and vulnerabilities and work closely with you to ensure that he has access to the appropriate emotional support and a safety plan to keep him safe. You may wish to speak to their manager if they are not being proactive in this respect.

You and your son may also be interested in the following services for young people:

• Your GP, as a starting point
• Young Minds. Their parents’ helpline is freephone 0808 802 5544, Mon – Fri , 9,30 am to 4.00 pm or you can chat to them online
• Childline freephone 0800 1111 or via email or online
• The Mix . They have a 24 hour, 7 days a week, crisis textline by texting THEMIX to 82528, an email service , a one to one chat service, Mon to Fri, 4pm to 11pm and a counselling service

I have provided some advice in my earlier response (dated 06/02/24)) that your husband must satisfy children’s services that he has addressed his alcohol use sufficiently so that this no longer poses a risk of harm to you and your children before they may agree to him returning home.

It is very good to hear that your husband has reduced his alcohol intake and is working well with mental health and alcohol misuse services. This shows his commitment to make changes which will help him as an individual and as a father to the boys. I would suggest that he asks his keyworkers to update children’s services about his progress and that they attend core groups to share this information there too. Children’s services will need to risk assess the situation again to review their current recommendation.

It is not ok that your husband has not received a response from children’s services to his proposals for supervised contact. He is a father with parental responsibility for his children and is currently agreeing with children’s services that he won’t have direct contact with the children. He may find this information for fathers and the child protection process helpful. He could write to the children’s social worker, copying in their manager and perhaps the Conference Chair highlighting his cooperation but formally asking for a response to his proposals for contact. He should provide the details of the family/friends who are willing to supervise and ask that the social worker assess them urgently. You stated previously that the police investigation into your husband’s alleged assault on your son has closed. Therefore, your husband can request that children’s services now review the agreement that was made about contact and that he will work in partnership with them to agree a safe plan.

If children’s services do not respond or your husband is dissatisfied with their response he can consider making a complaint.

You and your husband may find the following advice materials helpful:

• Drug and alcohol misuse
• Adult mental ill health
• Working with your social worker
• Complaints

I hope this helps. If you have any further queries, please contact the advice service again. You can post back on this board or if you prefer you can call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, use our advice enquiry form or our webchat facility.

Best wishes

Suzie