Disabled and don't know what to do

[Lostinmind]

Hi everyone I could really do with some advice. Sorry this is a long one.
In December last year my 15 year old and husband had an argument which ended up in putting son in a teddy hold for his and our safety, after son was upset so spoke to his nan (my mom) and said he was put in a head lock, and she called social services (ss).
They asked dad to leave the house whilst they did a section 47. We did as asked and signed an agreement that he wouldn't have face to face contact with the children.
Fast forward and in Jan our 15 year old and 10 year old were put on a child protection plan (cpp) under the neglect category. They stated due to previous history they had no choice. (The history was when my ex husband made false allegations (about 5 ) when I was hiding from him as left a dv relationship, all cases were closed after initial visit).
Police have no concerns and have closed the case regarding the alleged assault on son from husband.
Ss main concern is husbands drinking (was drinking 6-8 beers a night, never in the day and only after 6pm)
Husband not allowed home yet and they have said he needs to get his drinking under control. He has self refered to an addiction help and counselling which he is doing well with (down to 2 beers a night)
My issue I need help with is I am disabled and use a wheelchairwhen not in house (sticks when in house as not adapted). My husband was my full time carer. Now my children have taken on that role and are doing everything from cooking to cleaning.
We live in a property that has steps leading down to it and due to being disabled I can't get up them without someone taking most of my weight and helping me up.
(Currently been sleeping downstairs for 8 weeks to as can't get to bed)
My main concern is being unable to care for the children in an emergency.
For instance 10 yr old son had to go to emergency dentist this morning,only family member who drives is my husband and his step dad. Now for a normal appointment I would work it round step dads work shifts but unfortunately this was an emergency. I had no-one to ask to take my son, his grandad was working, my dad lives 300miles away, his other grandad is basically housebound due to ill health and his nan is 86 (lastv2 dont drive either)
The social worker says that I need to ask my support network to help but they cant, she says I am just making excuses and that I am the children's parent and its my responsibility to care for their medical needs. I completely understand that but how in an emergency? She didn't give me any answers and I've spent the last 2 hours since she left crying and feeling worthless. I'm just a burden to my children and can't even look after myself let alone them.
What do I do in an emergency such as doctors or dentist please? My 15 year old can take himself but my 10 year old can't.
So sorry its so long.
Appreciate any advice

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Lostinmind

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group and I will respond to your post. I am sorry for the difficulties you are experiencing due to your disability and your husband being out of he family home due to safeguarding concerns relating to your children who are on a child protection plan under the category of neglect.

The difficulties you are experiencing relates to your disability and your worry about caring for your children in an emergency. Your husband is your full time carer but is not currently in the home at children’s services request and, as a result your children are now in a caring role. It seems to be that children’s services should be aware of the needs of the children and your own as a disabled parent and provide appropriate support. Please see information HERE

If children’s services consider that it is appropriate for your children to act as your carer then they should ensure that a young carers assessment is undertaken so the child(ren)’s needs are met.

Unfortunately, if your husband’s drinking is part of the concerns that led to the children being placed on a child protection plan, children’s services may want to satisfy themselves that he has addressed this to a satisfactory level before putting the children and you at risk of harm.

You can put your concerns in writing to the social worker and ask her to provide you with a written response explaining what support they will put in place whilst your husband is out of the home. Having your home adapted may be one of the assessed needs.

Please be mindful how your expressed inability to safely care for the children may be considered by children’s services. They could possibly suggest accommodating the children voluntarily whilst your husband addresses his drinking. I include this not to frighten you but so you can consider all possibilities.

You can also contact adult social care for an assessment of your needs so you can get the help and support you require..

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie