My step-son is under a Section 20 right now. My husband is fighting for visitation with his son, he previously had a court order with visitation rights but the SGO's stopped the visits with no explanation.
For years we have tried to find out information about his son and have tried to get the visitations reinstated but with covid and the fact that we couldn't afford a solicitor it hasn't happened. My husband had tried everything but since he worked didn't qualify for legal aid.
It is only because of the SGO's alleged neglect and abuse that his son was removed and NOW we finally have a chance to get the visitations back.
My husband and I discuss everything together and work as a team but he gets very emotional and has trouble bringing up certain points and articulating what he wants, so he has asked that I speak on his behalf, but at the last meeting with the social worker I was told that she refused to have the discussion with me because I have no parental responsibility.
Her exact words were "I know that you're American but I shouldn't be talking to you since you have no parental responsibility "
What the does me being American have anything to do with things? I love my stepson very much and was deeply hurt and offended by that remark.
I understand that LEGALLY she is correct BUT we were on speaker phone and my husband was right there ( she knew this beforehand). I feel like I have been dismissed and it hurts alot.
I love my stepson just like one of my own 4 children ( all adults now) and I have learned over the years HOW to fight and advocate for my own children and only want to do the same for my stepson.
The social worker told my husband to send a card to his son ( he's 9 now, we last saw him when he was 4) and include a picture of HIMSELF only even though I have had past contact with my stepson.
Can they do this? Do I have NO rights? I love and adore my stepson, and want to be a part of his life as well but right now I feel pushed out.
What rights, if any, do I have?
My husband and I plan on going for custody but how can that happen if my stepson is not reintroduced to me as well?
I'm not from this country and don't know the laws here so any and advice is appreciated.
Step-parents rights?
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4240
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Step-parents rights?
Dear Angel4eva24
Welcome to Family Rights Group parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.
.
My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group and I will respond to your post.
I am sorry to note that your husband and you have been frustrated by the difficulties experienced in trying to arrange contact with the special guardian with whom he lived. He is now in foster care under a voluntary arrangement Although, as a looked after child now, children’s services should endeavour to promote contact with his father, the special guardian retains parental responsibility over and above the father’s and is able to express their wishes to children’s services who do not share parent responsibility under s.20.
Please see information HERE about what special guardianship means for birth parents.
It is unfortunate that your husband did not apply to the court to enforce the child arrangement order for contact with his son. I understand the worry about costs, but it is possible for individuals to attend court to represent themselves and the courts are used to this happening since the changes to the availability of legal aid for private law family cases. The information from this website may be useful to you and your husband regarding self-representation.
Regarding the social worker’s comment about you being American, this seems irrelevant to the issue of contact. You can raise your concerns about this with the social worker’s team manager. Making such comments seem inappropriate and unprofessional.
In respect of your question about what rights you have as a stepmother, the short answer is none, and the reason is because you do not share parental responsibility for your stepson. To share parental responsibility, you would enter in a step parent parental responsibility agreement with all persons who have parental responsibility, granted a child arrangement order (live with) by the court, or adoption.
As your stepson has not had contact for a significant amount of time, this may be the reason children’s services have said that a photograph of his father only should be sent. Your stepson needs to be prepared for the resumption of contact and children’s services will want to take this slowly at his pace. I understand that you are feeling left out so it is important that you and your husband discuss this with the social worker or team manager. If the reason is properly communicated, you would not be left to feel as you do now as I am of the view that the intention would be to include you in contact with your stepson, but he needs to be reintroduced to his father after such a long time without contact.
If you and your husband decide to apply to discharge the special guardianship order, then you will be part of the application process. In order to discharge a special guardianship order, the court’s permission is needed to make the application. Children’s services will be asked by the court to give a view about where your stepson should live although the final decision will be for the judge to make considering what is in your stepson’s best interests.
You may find it helpful to contact Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480, they offer advice to persons in private law family matters with no solicitor.
Should you require any further advice related to children’s services involvement under the s.20 voluntary arrangement, see information . HERE . You can telephone our free confidential advice line and speak with one of our experienced advisers on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays).
I hope you find this information useful.
Best wishes
Suzie.
Welcome to Family Rights Group parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.
.
My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group and I will respond to your post.
I am sorry to note that your husband and you have been frustrated by the difficulties experienced in trying to arrange contact with the special guardian with whom he lived. He is now in foster care under a voluntary arrangement Although, as a looked after child now, children’s services should endeavour to promote contact with his father, the special guardian retains parental responsibility over and above the father’s and is able to express their wishes to children’s services who do not share parent responsibility under s.20.
Please see information HERE about what special guardianship means for birth parents.
It is unfortunate that your husband did not apply to the court to enforce the child arrangement order for contact with his son. I understand the worry about costs, but it is possible for individuals to attend court to represent themselves and the courts are used to this happening since the changes to the availability of legal aid for private law family cases. The information from this website may be useful to you and your husband regarding self-representation.
Regarding the social worker’s comment about you being American, this seems irrelevant to the issue of contact. You can raise your concerns about this with the social worker’s team manager. Making such comments seem inappropriate and unprofessional.
In respect of your question about what rights you have as a stepmother, the short answer is none, and the reason is because you do not share parental responsibility for your stepson. To share parental responsibility, you would enter in a step parent parental responsibility agreement with all persons who have parental responsibility, granted a child arrangement order (live with) by the court, or adoption.
As your stepson has not had contact for a significant amount of time, this may be the reason children’s services have said that a photograph of his father only should be sent. Your stepson needs to be prepared for the resumption of contact and children’s services will want to take this slowly at his pace. I understand that you are feeling left out so it is important that you and your husband discuss this with the social worker or team manager. If the reason is properly communicated, you would not be left to feel as you do now as I am of the view that the intention would be to include you in contact with your stepson, but he needs to be reintroduced to his father after such a long time without contact.
If you and your husband decide to apply to discharge the special guardianship order, then you will be part of the application process. In order to discharge a special guardianship order, the court’s permission is needed to make the application. Children’s services will be asked by the court to give a view about where your stepson should live although the final decision will be for the judge to make considering what is in your stepson’s best interests.
You may find it helpful to contact Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480, they offer advice to persons in private law family matters with no solicitor.
Should you require any further advice related to children’s services involvement under the s.20 voluntary arrangement, see information . HERE . You can telephone our free confidential advice line and speak with one of our experienced advisers on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays).
I hope you find this information useful.
Best wishes
Suzie.
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Angel4eva24
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2024 5:20 pm
Re: Step-parents rights?
Thank you so very.much for your informative reply. I will be sure to read all the links you jace provided for me. And I have made special note of the advice line for both my husband and myself.
Good news, is that my husband and I had a meeting with the case worker and she is doing a parenting assessment with both of us and she had told my husband to send his son a letter and pictures of both of us, as she found out that my step son still remembers my husband and myself.
I know we have to go slowly for my step son and I certainly do not want to retraumatize him, so as long as they are making steps to reintroduce my husband and step son without me I am fine with it. All I want is what is best for both my step son and my husband.
Thank you again
Good news, is that my husband and I had a meeting with the case worker and she is doing a parenting assessment with both of us and she had told my husband to send his son a letter and pictures of both of us, as she found out that my step son still remembers my husband and myself.
I know we have to go slowly for my step son and I certainly do not want to retraumatize him, so as long as they are making steps to reintroduce my husband and step son without me I am fine with it. All I want is what is best for both my step son and my husband.
Thank you again
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