Help

[Sadgirl90]

So I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who’s was 3 weeks early weighing 5lbs 8oz.
My previous child is on a care order and with my auntie. I can admit my wrong doings as I was a high cannibis user and always partying.
I got pregnant with my new partner and changed MASSIVLY stopped smoking, changed my behaviours ect. I was aloud to keep my son, although he was put on child protection. when he was born he was struggling to gain weight and his weight would go up and then down and then up and down. We was admitted to hospital, I was with my son for 2 weeks straight I didn’t leave his side. After 2 weeks his weight was still going up and down. Then I was being tube trained as he may have to come home on a tube. The consultant found his blanket wet and multiple milk stains on his bed. After this they rang social services and have accused me of “tampering with baby’s feeds” and “ starving my son” although in the court paper work it states there is so evidence. All that there is, is when I was asked to leave the ward, his weight started to incline! Which is amazing as it’s all we wanted. They changed his milk, calories and higher intake in the time I was gone. Which obviously will help him put on weight. Nothing has been witnessed and no evidence at all, baby bou is now with his dad at his mothers house and we have had to seperate. There’s no evidence of anything and I’m so upset and confused please I need advice!
Thankyou

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Sadgirl90

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy. And on the significant changes you describe making prior to his birth which meant that he remained in your care although under a child protection plan. You have explained that your older child is the subject of a care order and living with your auntie.

I am sorry to hear of the issues with your son’s weight gain. These resulted in him being admitted to hospital where you cared for him. Unfortunately, it was later alleged that you may have been interfering with or withholding his feeds . His weight improved later when you were no longer present with him on the ward.

It is good to hear that his weight has increased which as you say, is what you all wanted. However, despite a change in his feeds which you believe led to this increase there seems to be a concern that you may have been responsible for his poor weight gain when you were his primary carer. This must be both very distressing and worrying for you.

Your son is currently being cared for by his father at your son’s paternal grandmother’s home. You and your son’s father have separated. You feel that this was forced upon you.

It is not clear from your post what court proceedings are taking place although you mention court papers. The most likely situation is that there are care proceedings in which case you will be legally represented by a solicitor.

Or possibly your son’s father has obtained a temporary child arrangements order; there may continue to be a child protection plan in place.

If you are in care proceedings, it is important that you seek specific advice from your solicitor about the medical or other evidence that is being considered by the court. They are best placed to understand children’s services’ case and to decide with you how best to respond. They will have access to all the reports and statements that have been shared as part of the court proceedings and will be able to advise how to address them. Please see our advice on care proceedings here.

You should be having contact with your son although this will be supervised. If you have concerns about the level of contact or the arrangements then please discuss with your social worker and solicitor. Please also see this advice on children in care under a court order .

It is really important that you continue to engage with the professionals involved, even though this may be difficult for you.

I am attaching links to our guides to working with a solicitor and working with a social worker. I hope they will be helpful.

If you would like to post back letting us know what your son’s legal status is e.g. (interim care order, interim child arrangements order or no order) and what the current court proceedings are we may be able to offer more targeted advice.

You can also contact Family Rights Group’s advice service by calling our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, using our advice webchat or advice enquiry facility.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie