What happens next?

[JulyBabyComing]

So in 2017 there was;
- domestically abusive relationship
- my daughter didn’t see her dad (ultimately my fault)
- my son died due to his dads actions and after he died we found he had rib fractures, and I was one of two people left in a pool of perpetrators

I then had another son in 2018-
Daughter went to her dad full time under a CAO
My son went to my parents under a SGO
- the SGOs allowed unsupervised, and I have had unsupervised with my son for 4 and a half years, and then the CAO made the same decision, and I had had unsupervised for 7 and a half months.

Fast forward to now
- I’m in a healthy, loving relationship
- we both work and own a house together
- there’s no issues with anything else
- myself and daughters dad get along well now
- at the time of writing I’m 7 weeks pregnant

I contacted social services about the pregnancy the day I found out and at the pre-birth meeting told them the history from 6 years ago. Things a very different now.

When I informed children’s services of my pregnancy my son and daughter were each given a social worker. At first we were told that they were just going to do a quick assessment to update their records and draw a line under everything, as the last thing on their system was that I was supervised, whereas I had moved to unsupervised.

However I have now been placed back on supervised with both my son and daughter, because of the pool of perpetrators, even though I’ve been unsupervised for so long with no issues.

So there’s now
- a pre-birth social worker
- social worker for my son
- social worker for my daughter

The social workers for my son and daughter have said that the assessment they’re doing will last 45 days.
The pre-birth team have been through the old paperwork but have said they won’t assess me and my partner until I’m 16 weeks pregnant.

So I guess my question is, what happens now with all my children? Will unsupervised be reinstated after these updated assessments have been completed?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Julybabycoming

Thank you for your last three posts this response I hope may answer some of your questions from the previous posts and this post in which you have given a clear outline of what has happened to date.

You are more than welcome to post on the Forum and if you want to contact us in other ways such as through our confidential telephone service here is a link to our contact details.

I am sorry that you are finding it hard to understand why the social worker has advised you that your contact ‘must’ be supervised and that it is confusing to the other people with parental responsibility too. It is likely that the main issues/concerns/unknowns are that you were left in the pool of perpetrators in relation to the historical harm to your child.

From what you write and have ‘told us before’ you have moved on in so many positive ways since that difficult time – it is possible that many (if not all) the social workers working with your family now, can see this, but they cannot ‘ignore the past’ but can (and should) assess based on where you and your family are now.

It might be an idea to speak with the social worker about why they are concerned about you, the CAO (father) and the SG (grandparent) changing/adjusting the parameters regarding contact between you and the children. Contact arrangements may have been decided at the court hearings and set out in the order, if not, it may have been up to the CAO and the SGO to decide and agree with you when contact would take place.

I understand that, as you say, the historical harm was determined as a 50/50 chance/likelihood that it was not you. Here is some information about the likelihood (balance of probabilities) used in cases where a child has sustained an injury. It may be ‘heavy’ reading, I am including it in this response as it may be helpful. Here too from the same website is information about non-accidental harm/injuries.

You are correct when you suggest that your children will be impacted by not having contact in the ways they have become accustomed to. It may be a good idea to raise this valid point with the social worker and ask them about ways they suggest they (or you) can remedy this as quickly as possible.

I understand that you have committed to start the process of information giving and sharing as early as possible and you have said, in previous posts, that you have done so. It may be a good idea request information in writing from the professionals you are working with, you might then transfer key dates and timescales that you have been given into a diary/calendar. Here is our information sheet about working with social workers and our parents to be webpages.

I hope this information is helpful, feel free to post again we will be here for you.

Best wishes

Suzie

[JulyBabyComing]

Thank you so much for your reply! As you can imagine I’m feel a bit overwhelmed and anxious to get things moving for my kids, to get them home.

My sons social worker has said it’ll likely be a child-in-need plan where I can return to unsupervised with social worker oversight.

I haven’t heard anything from my daughter social worker at all about coming out to see me, which I’ve let my sons social worker know.

Regarding the baby, I’ve been told assessments will start when I’m 16 weeks pregnant, so I just have to wait now

[JulyBabyComing]

I met my midwife yesterday, she said that the children’s services organisation has changed loads and focus more on supporting families rather than defaulting to child removal, so that was good to hear.
She said she thinks their biggest concern will be that I was left in a pool, the baby’s social worker has already asked me if I have tried to removed myself from the pool after I explained how my son died, so I’m hoping they can see I really didn’t hurt my son.

I am worried that being left in a pool for an injury I didn’t cause with loose us this baby, I’m really hoping it won’t and they’ll see all of the positive changes instead.