Social services and domestic violence

[Needhelpplease]

Hi so on Sunday night my boyfriend tried to strangle me and then phoned the police on me when he left as I threatened to key his van (out of pure anger) he was arrested as I told them what had happened and showed them photos of a previous black eye he gave me in June. Social workers and bail have made it clear we are to have no contact which I’m happy enough with as it’s all still fresh in my head. I don’t know what he’s thinking at the moment but I was wondering down the line what are the chances of us being able to reconcile the relationship? He was a great partner and all he needs is some therapy, councilling and courses. Is this a possibility? He’s a great parent and there were underlying issues in our relationship (nothing major) that should have been addressed earlier before it reached breaking point. I know this isn’t a short term goal I would be looking at a long road but want to know where I’d stand with the baby if we even considered this before I would put him at risk

[Sjp9396]

Me and my wife who I am temporary separated from or possibly permanently depending on Social Services recommendations are currently going through care proceedings I have a family court hearing on the 15th of December but my Social Work has filed the care plan for future Recommendations yesterday I will find out this on Tuesday when I see my solicitor and I will have to do a statement to whether I agree with it or not and my wife is off to do the same but this could be permanent but hopefully only temporary as we went through domestic violence over the last around two years along with some other things. She is currently in a mother and baby unit with my three children well I am currently doing supervised contact with my children three times a week and hopefully this will be unsupervised once I also get my parent assessment back on the 3rd of November but I would be realistic for any possible outcome as it depends on how well you’re working with Social Services and same with your partner to ask if you work with Social Services and he doesn’t then answer would be straight up no. I am happy to keep you updated with anything that I am going through to give you some idea of how things can be but every case is different so mine maybe positive or negative but yours may be the opposite depending again on how well you and your partner work with Social Services but always be honest with them if you want to re-conceal in the future make sure you and your partner make this aware to Social Services because if you don’t it can cause a lot of problems in the long run.

[Needhelpplease]

Have you been allowed contact with each other while you can see them in a contact Center? We’re not currently allowed contact but I think that’s only due to the bail conditions for example could they come and visit you if she made that choice or do they have control over all that. I’m completely new to this so just trying to see what the future is gonna look like

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Needhelpplease

Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser and will be responding to your two posts today.

I am sorry to hear of your situation. It must have been a frightening and stressful time for you and your child.

Your boyfriend strangled you, the police were called, he was arrested and bailed. Bail conditions state no contact between you and your boyfriend. Children’s services are completing a Section 47 enquiry .

You are seeking advice on what might happen if in the future you decided to reconcile your relationship with your boyfriend. What role (if any) will children’s services will play.

Children’s services cannot dictate who has a relationship with whom. They do not have the powers to do this. However, they do have a responsibility and duty to protect children from significant harm. Children’s services may take actions to protect your child if they feel their parent(s) cannot. Please see HERE a link to information and advice regarding domestic abuse and why this is a concern for children’s services.

The best policy is to be open and transparent with children’s services. If you wish to restart your relationship with the children’s father, then our advice would be to inform them of this and to work towards demonstrating you are able to raise your child in a safe and stable home environment. The onus will not only be on you, but also your partner. He will need to demonstrate to children’s services that he is seeking help and support to address his issues and that he is a safe and predicable parent. I have added a link HERE to our ‘top tips’ when working with social workers.

At the present time, Bail conditions are in place and being followed. Should Bail conditions change then it would be a good idea to seek clarification from children’s services about their views on contact. They have no jurisdiction to enforce a request for no contact but they could escalate matters if they feel your child is at risk of significant harm. Children’s services and the police have different thresholds for intervention. The criminal test is ‘beyond reasonable doubt’ and children’s services test is on ‘probability.’ Therefore it does not necessarily follow that if the police withdrawn with no further action, children's services will do the same.

In the first instance I would urge you to seek support from a domestic abuse charity. I have added a link HERE to Women’s Aid which is a charity that supports women who have experienced domestic abuse.

I have further added information HERE to an organisation called RESPECT. This organisation support perpetrators of domestic abuse.

I hope you find this information helpful. To speak to an adviser, please call our free and confidential advice line 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday 9.30am to 3pm, excluding Bank Holidays). For Textphone dial 18001 followed by the advice line number. Or you can ask us another question via email using our advice enquiry form. We also have our online advice forums. They are an anonymous space where parents and kinship carers (also known as family and friends carers) can get legal and practical advice, build a support network and learn from other people’s experiences. There is also a webchat service that you may wish to access. The webchat is not a bot, you will be answered by one of our advisers. Please refer to our website for further information and advice.

Best wishes, Suzie

[Sjp9396]

putting it straight forward no, im not allowed contact with my partner until social services either see a positive assessment on my side and hers or until social services close the case.

[Needhelpplease]

So we’ve had the case conference and I think we’re in the same position, we can do handovers together as long as a third party is there but apart from that he’s not allowed in the house or to move back in until they see changes too

[Sjp9396]

Yes that is definitely the case I think. I have had a negative parent assessment however the solicitor has seen contact session reports are good so looking to be unsupervised soon so may improve and hopefully will your end too.

[Monuteds]

Hi Everyone, we really require some advice please!

On 01/10/23. My wife unfortunately made some severe false allegations against me. Which resulted in me being remanded at a local prison. There was no evidence other than 3 bruises present on her body(which was not due to domestic violence as I will explain later.) My wife eventually withdrew her statement admitting that she lied against me in her initial allegations. The crown court looked at everything, saw that there is no evidence and that my wife has withdrawn her statement and decided to close the case. So case was dropped and I was released from prison on 24/11/23.

Social services got involved on 03/10/23 and visited my family home to speak with my wife and 2 daughters. They decided to do a section 47 assessment and concluded that a CIN plan is necessary. But if I was released from prison and if my wife and I start reconciling, they will push for a CP plan. My wife has since withdrawing her statement admitting to the SW that she had lied in her initial statements and told her the truth.

The truth is, I am a certain race from the asian subcontinent and my wife is a different race but also from the asian subcontinent. My In Law's are racist to me and have always tried to poison my wife's understanding to try and get rid of me. Everytime they get involved they manipulate her taking advantage of her emotional distress following our disagreements and make her treat me like an enemy.
The bruises are from us training self defence following a recent series of events where an individual from the local community had a vendetta against me and my family for exposing them to the police for vandalising people's cars! The individual used to threaten us and I have evidence of their psychotic behaviour. Since then, I decided to teach my wife self defence and us training in this regard became a frequent thing. Sometimes obviously as part of training, people sustain minor injuries as is known for all types of professionals who partake in boxing classes etc. But these bruises which my wife sustained was not due to domestic violence.

Anyways, the social worker has LIED ALOT in the casenotes and did not even communicate with my self, but rather painted a very evil and negative image of my self in the casenotes. She is refusing to amend the casenotes in 'good conscience' and believes my wife has told her the truth in the beginning, and also believes my wife is retracting her words now out of 'fear of my reaction'.

The social worker has not even seen me in person but did call me a couple of days ago, I have recorded the call (without informing her) and my words did not reflect in her 'updated' casenotes.

She is twisting police records and making me look like a really violent and aggressive man when I am nothing of the sort.

There is a initial child protection conference coming up next week.

SW has also given her recommendation that I should not live with my wife and daughters until the ICPC, even though there is no evidence against myself.

But my questions are.

- Can I request for them to REDO the section 47 assessment as it is currently biased as the SW did not even comminicate with my self until after she had completed the assessment?

- Is it a good idea to complain about the SW lying and setting forth her own agenda to paint a bad picture of me?

- by law, are the SS supposed to communicate with me during the S47 Enquiries?

- 60% of the casenotes are factually incorrect and baseless and make me look very evil. Will my complaints give us the opportunity to have the assessments redone?

Thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Monuteds,

Thank you for your web enquiry and thank you for your post.

You say that in October, your wife made some allegations against you and you were remanded. Your wife has some bruising on her. Your wife later withdrew her statement and the case with the police was closed. You deny all allegations. Children's services became involved and initiated a section 47 investigation and recommended a child in need plan but said they would pursue a child protection plan if you were released from prison and reconciled with your wife. You wife has withdrawn her statement since this point. You say that your in-laws are racist towards you and that they have manipulated your wife against you. You say the bruises are from you training your wife in self-defence and not from domestic violence. You say the social worker has lied a lot in their case notes and has not communicated with you. You feel they have painted you in a negative light and that she believes your wife has retracted her statement in fear. You feel she is twisting your words and misrepresenting you. There is going to be an ICPC next week and the social worker has recommended that you do not move back in to the home.

In order to answer your questions:

1. Can I request for them to REDO the section 47 assessment as it is currently biased as the SW did not even comminicate with my self until after she had completed the assessment?

It is unlikely that the social worker will 'redo' the section 47 investigation. I would advise that you go through the assessment and make notes of things you may not agree with and why you do not agree with these things. Please note, there is a difference between factual inaccuracies, which should be straightforward to correct, and the social worker's professional opinion at the time of writing the report.

You can write a letter with your 'version of events' and ask that this be attached to the report to be read in conjunction.

You can raise your concerns about the report and your lack of involvement in writing to the social worker and to the team manager. You may want to also make a formal complaint about this - take a look here for more information on how to do this. I would also advise that you raise this directly with the conference chair prior to the conference and remember, you can also bring this up during the conference itself.

2. Is it a good idea to complain about the SW lying and setting forth her own agenda to paint a bad picture of me?

As a parent, you have a right to make a complaint if you feel you have been treated unfairly and this complaint should be looked into in a fair and balanced way. The stages of a formal complaint are outlined in the above link.

3. By law, are the SS supposed to communicate with me during the S47 Enquiries?

As a parent, you should be included in the section 47 enquiries, and your views and opinions sought. You can read the statutory guidance on how assessments should be carried out in a document called working together to safeguard children.

4. 60% of the casenotes are factually incorrect and baseless and make me look very evil. Will my complaints give us the opportunity to have the assessments redone?

As part of your complaint, the assessment may be looked at. Please remember that factual inaccuracies are different from a difference you may have with the social worker's professional opinion. You can ask as part of your complaint for an intended outcome, which will be considered. If you are not happy with the initial response to your complaint, you can escalate this further.

You may also find it useful to read our webpage on child protection here, which may answer any other questions you have.

Best wishes,

Suzie.