Social services become involved due to a domestic incident that happened between Me and my children father back in April 2023. Social services came out to visit me and my children after the incident happened as police made a referral due to my children being in the property while the incident happened. However did no wickness this. My children's father was released on bail conditions not to contact me and only to see the children through a third party.
I made the decision to withdraw my statement. My children's father bail conditions where then dropped and he returned back to the family home.
Within a week I moved to a new area. This was already placed way before social services got involved. I made my social worker aware of my move and provided my address.
May arrived and I had moved to my new home however their was no contact made from my social worker until later May I had a knock at the door where my social worker presented her self angry shouting Infront of my self my children's father and my children which coursed a lot of upset. My social worker insisted that my Children's father would need to leave the property right away. I was so upset and confued with what was being said. The social worker waited in her car at the bottom of my drive while my children's father said his good byes to our children. After my children's father left my son ran after him devostated. The social worker asked for my children's father to sit in the car for a chat.
After their chat the social worker and my children's father come in to the house, the social worker apologized for her actions and agreed that the children's father was allowed to stay. This agreement was updated and a email was sent to me with the information of the new safety plan.
Unfortunately the social worker had already sent this to child protection as she was concern that she couldn't get in contact me and it eas later to believe all the evidence with my communication was looked at.
A child protection conference was held however my allocated social worker didn't attend instead another person attened which didn't know about the new up to date report with the work thst has been done with myself and my children's father for the last 4 weeks.
My children ended up being up on child protection. It was later to be found that the read of the old report and not the up to date one.
July I was transferred over to my new district social worker. I had a visited from my new social worker who told me that the children's father was not allowed in the family home.
This coursed a lot of upset again and I knew instantly that she didn't receive the new up to date report and safety plan. I then insisted to send the evidence of the safety plan to her email address. My new social worker told me she would go back and report this to her manger and she would be in touch. Worried and unsettled my children father decided to leave the home. A week on I made serval of ways to try and make contact to find out what was going on. I than finally had the chance to speak to my social worker who told me that because of the confusion they will make a new safety plan which would be my children's father is not allowed to the family home and if he wants to see the children this must be done through a third party. I was so shocked that this had happened. My children where again subjected to child protection with my new district area having rasied my concerns with my social services and their unprofessional ways I was given an apology.
So here we are now in October 2023.
My social worker wanted my children's father to complete a caring dad's program however he has refused to do this due to the lack of incorrect information.
It's took 2 months for my social worker to now agree to do her own risk assessment on my children's father which takes places once a week. He has his 3rd risks assessment next week however we also have a review confernce this week. I'm worried that because of social services and their delayed ways nothing will be changed.
This is tearing us apart as a family. We have been open and honest about everything. We have told them that we are having to even meet up in the park behind my house as I have no local connection to support us with this. However social services don't like the idea but I was told to do what ever i needed to do.
We have no idea how much longer he has to remain outside the family home. Any advice would help with my situation.
Social Services have lost paper work while I moved to a different district.
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4240
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Social Services have lost paper work while I moved to a different district.
Dear WQD23,
Welcome to the parents’ board and thank you for your post.
You say that children’s services became involved with your family in April 2023 due to a domestic incident between you and your children’s father in which the police were called. Your children’s father was arrested but you withdrew your statement, his bail conditions of no contact were dropped and there was no further action from the police. You moved home, which was already planned and informed your social worker that you were going to do this. You said there was no contact until the social worker attended your home. They asked your children’s father to leave the home but later rescinded this and said he could stay. You were provided with a new safety plan.
A child protection conference was held due to the social worker’s concerns which resulted in your children being placed on a child protection plan. You say that an outdated report was used at the conference which did not reflect recent work that had been done. You were then transferred to children’s services in your new are and were told that your children’s father was not allowed in the home. Your children’s father decided to leave the home. You were then told by the social worker that a new safety plan would stipulate that your children’s father is not allowed in the family home and any contact with the children should be done through a third party. Your children’s father has been asked to complete a caring dad’s program, however he has refused to do this due to lack of correct information. The social worker has agreed to complete a risk assessment on him which is in progress and there is a review conference being held. You are worried that nothing will change and about the pressures of contact currently. You do not know how much longer your children’s father needs to remain outside of the family home.
Firstly, it sounds as though children’s services have concerns about your children’s father and the risk of domestic abuse in your relationship. They may be worried that your children’s father is not engaging with support and that you both may be minimising the impact of any conflict in the home on your children. The most important thing to do is to ensure you understand what children’s services concerns are and why they have these concern. This should be a part of the child protection plan. You should also be clear on what steps children’s services would like you and your partner to take to address these concerns. It may useful to ask the social worker to go through this with you. If there are any barriers to engaging with these actions, you should discuss this with the social worker.
At the review conference, the Chair will decide whether your children should remain subject to the child protection plan. This will be based on whether they think your children are suffering or are still at risk of significant harm. The Chair will revisit the plan and will want to see what progress has been made. Prior to the conference, it is important that you go through the social worker’s report and note down anything you may not agree with. You can represent your views at the conference. Remember, it is useful to show professionals that you are able to show insight into any concerns that may have and that you and your partner are working effectively with children’s services to address these.
In regards to contact. At the moment, children’s services do not think it is safe for your children’s father to live in the family home or to have contact arranged through you. You say the social worker is doing a risk assessment, and this is a good thing. They may find that it is safe enough for him to move home with some conditions. Or they may find that he needs to engage with more support first. At the moment, these are just recommendation – however, if your children’s father moves back in without children’s services approval, they may become more worried and they may escalate their level of involvement beyond child protection.
It is reasonable for your children’s father to ask what he needs to do for children’s services to feel comfortable with him moving home. The children’s safety and wellbeing must be the first priority. If children’s services are insisting on supervised contact, you can request that this be funded through a contact centre – meeting in a park as it gets colder will not be appropriate for your children. If your children’s father thinks this is unfair – or you feel you have been treated unfairly as a whole – you may wish to make a formal complaint. Take a look here for more information on how to do this.
Best wishes,
Suzie.
Welcome to the parents’ board and thank you for your post.
You say that children’s services became involved with your family in April 2023 due to a domestic incident between you and your children’s father in which the police were called. Your children’s father was arrested but you withdrew your statement, his bail conditions of no contact were dropped and there was no further action from the police. You moved home, which was already planned and informed your social worker that you were going to do this. You said there was no contact until the social worker attended your home. They asked your children’s father to leave the home but later rescinded this and said he could stay. You were provided with a new safety plan.
A child protection conference was held due to the social worker’s concerns which resulted in your children being placed on a child protection plan. You say that an outdated report was used at the conference which did not reflect recent work that had been done. You were then transferred to children’s services in your new are and were told that your children’s father was not allowed in the home. Your children’s father decided to leave the home. You were then told by the social worker that a new safety plan would stipulate that your children’s father is not allowed in the family home and any contact with the children should be done through a third party. Your children’s father has been asked to complete a caring dad’s program, however he has refused to do this due to lack of correct information. The social worker has agreed to complete a risk assessment on him which is in progress and there is a review conference being held. You are worried that nothing will change and about the pressures of contact currently. You do not know how much longer your children’s father needs to remain outside of the family home.
Firstly, it sounds as though children’s services have concerns about your children’s father and the risk of domestic abuse in your relationship. They may be worried that your children’s father is not engaging with support and that you both may be minimising the impact of any conflict in the home on your children. The most important thing to do is to ensure you understand what children’s services concerns are and why they have these concern. This should be a part of the child protection plan. You should also be clear on what steps children’s services would like you and your partner to take to address these concerns. It may useful to ask the social worker to go through this with you. If there are any barriers to engaging with these actions, you should discuss this with the social worker.
At the review conference, the Chair will decide whether your children should remain subject to the child protection plan. This will be based on whether they think your children are suffering or are still at risk of significant harm. The Chair will revisit the plan and will want to see what progress has been made. Prior to the conference, it is important that you go through the social worker’s report and note down anything you may not agree with. You can represent your views at the conference. Remember, it is useful to show professionals that you are able to show insight into any concerns that may have and that you and your partner are working effectively with children’s services to address these.
In regards to contact. At the moment, children’s services do not think it is safe for your children’s father to live in the family home or to have contact arranged through you. You say the social worker is doing a risk assessment, and this is a good thing. They may find that it is safe enough for him to move home with some conditions. Or they may find that he needs to engage with more support first. At the moment, these are just recommendation – however, if your children’s father moves back in without children’s services approval, they may become more worried and they may escalate their level of involvement beyond child protection.
It is reasonable for your children’s father to ask what he needs to do for children’s services to feel comfortable with him moving home. The children’s safety and wellbeing must be the first priority. If children’s services are insisting on supervised contact, you can request that this be funded through a contact centre – meeting in a park as it gets colder will not be appropriate for your children. If your children’s father thinks this is unfair – or you feel you have been treated unfairly as a whole – you may wish to make a formal complaint. Take a look here for more information on how to do this.
Best wishes,
Suzie.
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