Discharging a care order

[LadySpikes]

Hi, my three older children are currently under kinship care with their paternal grandparents. We agreed to this placement on a short term basis due to the risks posed by grandfather. He was charged and went to court for 15 counts of child sex abuse and rape...found not guilty but still a risk.
The grandmother has actively alienated us, it's written in reports that she wants to keep the kids and not return them. She's told them we've starved them and not to tell us. She's also kicked off and screamed at me in front of them over sensory aids.

Anyway, we have done everything that's been asked of us and we've sustained the changes for over 18 months now. We have asked social workers, service managers and even the director what more we can do to get our children home and the question is ignored every time.

Our contact has always been positive, the last couple have been a bit iffy due to changes in the kids routine and changes in contact worker. Our middle son has behavioural issues but they refuse to assess him as they blame me for his behaviour. It's been 30 months since he's been in our care and his behaviour has escalated and he has tried to seriously harm his grandmother by pushing her down the stairs.

In court statements, grandmother has told others that the middle boy has said he wants to come home and be reunited with us. She has since denied this and it's been documented in LAC reviews that he wants us to stop fighting for him to come home. We have never said anything to him about coming home or returning to court etc but the kids have told the social worker we have. Contact reports do not mention anything about these sort of conversations either. We are not believed.

Recently, we have been told that our older boys, aged 10 and 8, have said that they want to live with their grandparents, our 3 year old daughter was not asked as she's too young. We do not know how they were asked, especially when the middle boy was put in emergency respite a couple of weeks before being asked. A lot of supporters have told us that it's not true and that our children do want to come home, the social worker is lying or twisted their response.

We have done everything and more that's been asked of us, we both have full time jobs and are mentally and physically healthy. There's no drugs or alcohol concerns and no DV. The only negative is that we see the children for 90 minutes every 6 weeks and this has strained our relationship with them, especially with the alienation that's happening as well.

What can we do to get our children home? The LA refuse to work with us, they've promised assessments but it's been 3 months now and they seem more intent on an SGO instead of reunification. We've tried to get a solicitor but they say to work with the LA but it's just not possible.

We are under X

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear LadySpikes

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that your family is experiencing.

Your three older children are currently living with their grandparents. You are worried that their grandparents are alienating them. You are also worried that one of your sons has not been assessed and is not getting support with his behaviour. You would like the children to be returned to your care. There is a care order in place for the children with a proposal for the paternal grandparents to apply for a Special Guardianship Order.

I am sorry to hear that children’s services have not responded or clarified what you can do to work towards the children’s return home. Here are a few suggestions about what you can do to try to move forward:

• If you have a transcript of the judgement made at the end of the care proceedings, review this carefully so that you are clear about why the care order was made, what the specific concerns were and what recommendations were made about what you would need to do to be able to safely care for the children again.
• Ask, in writing, that children’s services consider moving your contact arrangements forward. You may need to formally request that they clarify in writing what would need to happen for you to move towards unsupervised contact or overnight contact.
• You mention that you have previously been promised assessments but they have not happened. I am not sure if these were assessments around better contact or a reunification assessment. You can send another email to the social worker, team manager and Independent Reviewing Officer asking them to clarify when this will happen, and the timescale for completion.
• If you have no response or an unsatisfactory response then you may need to make a complaint. Please see here for more details on how to do this.
• You have already sought legal advice from a solicitor about applying to court to end the care order. They recommended that you continue to work with the local authority. This suggests that they did not think this was the right time for you to apply to court to end the court order. It is a good idea to seek independent legal advice again once you have followed up on the above steps.
• However, if you decided to make an application to end the care order then this information may help. You would have to show a real change in your circumstances.
• If you decided to apply as a litigant in person you would need to use HMCS form C110a. Support Through Court offers practical support (but not legal) advice to litigants in person.
• If children’s services support the grandparents to make a SGO application, you will be a party and can put forward your views to the court. The grandparents would need to be assessed as special guardians. This would include exploration of the concerns around the paternal grandfather; however, they must have also been considered when they were assessed as kinship foster carers. Please see our advice sheet on Special Guardianship: information for birth parents.

As you are worried about your son’s behaviour and think that he should have an assessment of his needs, I would suggest that you put your request and your reasons in writing to his social worker, copying in the Independent Reviewing Officer, and ask that they update you on this.

If you think the children need an independent advocate you can ask the Independent Reviewing Officer to consider this. Please see our guide to advocacy for children here.

I hope this helps.

If you need any further advice, please post back or call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri (except bank holidays) between 9.30 am and 3.00 pm.

Best wishes

Suzie