Dear Sjp9396
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties your family has had.
You are currently in
care proceedings. You and your wife have separated, at the request of children’s services, due to
domestic abuse. You describe a complex but very serious situation. You may find it helpful to consider our advice materials on domestic abuse
here. They may help you understand why children’s services were so concerned for the welfare of your three children that they took the matter to court.
It is good to hear that you have done a significant amount of work around domestic abuse. I am sorry that you have not been able to find a domestic abuse perpetrator course in your area. Have you tried contacting
Respect to check what they suggest? And also you can formally request, in writing, that children’s services support you to access a specialist perpetrators’ programme. You are also addressing your cannabis use and have made good progress. And you are willing to do a CBT course. The psychologist recommended CBT and you are happy to do this. So, you should ask all the relevant professions to assist you to access this therapy. It may be worth contacting your GP about this too, if you have not done so already.
Your wife and children are currently in a residential unit which I think is a residential assessment unit?
You are hoping that you can be reunited as a family. You are wondering what the possibility of this is. I am sorry that I cannot answer your question. You seem to be doing what is required of you. You are engaging in services and you see your children twice a week. This is all positive and will be taken in to account by all parties in court. However, the court will weigh up all the evidence, including your wife’s assessments and protective capacity, in order to decide what is in your children’s best interests. It is not possible to predict the outcome, unfortunately. Although you find your solicitor to be unhelpful they are best placed to discuss these issues with you, to take your instructions and to represent you. You should also pay close attention to the social worker’s and the Guardians’ recommendations which they will submit in their statements.
It is not clear if the assessments you and your wife have had focused on a possible reconciliation or were based fully on you as potential single parents. Your solicitors will be able to clarify this for you, if you are unsure. You were asked to separate because of the risk so you would need to be able to satisfy the court that the risk has been significantly reduced. And that it is in the children’s best interests too. It is important that both parents are honest and open about future plans so that the court can consider this when making its decision.
Your wife’s grandparents have had a positive
Special Guardianship assessment although were not successful in their assessment as kinship foster carers. They are the contingency permanent carers for your children if the court decides that you or your wife or both of you cannot to care for them safely. If a parent can safely care for children and meet all their needs then the court will agree to the children remaining or returning to their parent/s’ care. The Special Guardianship Order offers a family alternative to this, if the courts decide the parent/s cannot care for the children or keep them safe.
Please see the information below which may be useful to you:
Care proceedings
Children in care under a care order
Working with a social worker
Working with a solicitor
Special Guardianship: information for birth parents.
I hope this has helped. The guide above to working with a solicitor may help you prepare for and get the best out of your appointments and communication with your solicitor.
If you have any further queries about children’s services then you can post back on this forum . If you would prefer to discuss your situation with an adviser you can call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 p.m. (except bank holidays) . We also have
advice enquiry and
webchat facilities.
Best wishes
Suzie