Wrongly Accused NAI

[MummyofL2001]

I am writing this as I am more terrified than ever.

A bit of background to my case- our baby was born at the start of June and would cry constantly if breastfeed, it was like he was so uncomfortable by it but all midwives said not to worry. We stopped breastfeeding after a few days and our son thrived under our care.
Fast forward a month and our baby begins to have mottled skin and began to drink less. I was concerned so I took him to A and E. they also didn’t understand what was going on but said it may be an infection and he was cannulised twice and had a lumbar puncture (among other medical procedures).

The first cannulisation was attempted a few times, our child was upset, but they managed to get one in and was given to myself to soothe our baby. He soon calmed having cuddles with me. In the middle of the night he was taken to a separate room for the lumbar puncture. I waited outside for a few minutes but all I could hear was my baby’s pain screams. I had never heard anything like it. Soon after this, he also had to be cannulised for 90 minutes and the doctor and nurse both failed, the nurse squeezing our baby’s arms and manipulating it to get a vein to pop. They had to get a senior doctor to do it. They tried for 90 minutes and the screams from my baby were gut wrenching again.

Our boy was discharged after 3 days but got worse on the second day after the lumbar puncture and cannula incident. We brought him to the hospital to get better… not worse.

He didn’t seem quite right after that. No one else picked up on it and saw it as just a clingy baby to Mum but we knew something wasn’t okay. After a few days of contact naps, extra cuddles and love, he became our happy, chilled little boy again. Little did I know…

We started to notice a weird eczema like rash on our son but was told that his presentation could be his ‘new normal’ and we thought the doctors wouldn’t have discharged him if they were worried. The rash was worrisome but began to get better as we dressed our baby, covering his nails just in case he was able to get to it during the night. Later I would notice on pictures from when he was in the first hospital, a day after the cannulisation, that our baby had dark black marks all over him, it seemed that the constantly squeezing of our sons arms had caused some sort of bruise like reaction which even doctors were puzzled about.

Two weeks after the first hospital admission, he began to feed inconsistently and just wanted to sleep. Our lovely boy loved his sleep but this seemed excessive as he was growing older and had longer wake windows over the last few weeks but he seemed off. I saw the health visitor and she stopped and weighed and he had dropped weight not gained! This was very peculiar for him as he gained his birthweight back after just a few days as we had been on top of waking him up and giving him a good amount of milk. I expressed to ensure we knew how much he took and I became so focused on doing everything I could to ensure he was happy and healthy. The weight drop stunned me but that was the least of our worries to come. It was agreed that we would offer our usual amount and continue to wake him up. (In the hospital it was mentioned by staff that we were giving him more milk than needed and we began to gave him how much the nurses said to give him but he had been on more, we were new parents and went on advice from healthcare professionals, we shouldn’t have and we should have stuck our ground!)

The health visitor told me not to worry and to see the GP that was also scheduled for that day.

I continued to offer feeds every hour to our baby and eventually he caught up. It was like he just needed an extra long nap to reset! I still wanted advice from the GP as there may have been something underlying.

We went to the GP and I was told that among him being irritable (he’s normally very chilled and soothed very quickly by myself, less quick by others but still able to soothe) that his breathing was off. I was terrified of what was happening to our little, perfect boy. She recommended to go to A and E to see if there was any issues regarding the breathing.

It’s important to mention that not a single person had safeguarding issues. Not the first hospital, no midwives, the health visitor and the doctor all praised us for how well we were doing with our boy.

Fast forward, we got to the second hospital and went to A and E. a lot of parents will now what’s probably going to happen next and, working in childcare for many years, I knew we needed to prove that we hadn’t caused the bruise like marks on our son (which still didn’t seem to heal at all) He showed no signs of upset when touched and loved cuddles and didn’t seem to bother him but we had photographs and videos to show that the marks appeared after he had been in the first hospital. there has begun to be little masses under the skin and I have never seen that in any child let alone a little baby…

Well, the CP medical was done and to our absolute horror and shock, they picked up many injuries! We were flawed, stunned and I remember looking at the doctor and being unable to breathe. The injuries were all at different stages of healing but we weren’t told this at the time (or at least I don’t remember being explained on what they actually saw). We had constant supervision for the reminder of our time there and were arrested.

Since all do this has happened we have done lots of research on medical conditions that our son could have and feel the doctors saw injuries to our child and instantly thought NAI. Our son, although very young, admittedly had a minor accident and a sudden break in the car. We mentioned all possible causes to the police and LA but all are currently deemed to be not enough force to cause these injuries. This led us to thinking what our son could have to weaken his bones so minor accidents may cause more injuries than it would in a normal child.

There’s so much to this and I have barely been able to focus on anything but get our baby back. I research and research and research for anything that can help us. anyway. Our contact with little one has been good and he’s usually so happy to see us. we created such good bonds with him that everyone saw how easily he calmed with us but still they ripped us apart. I truly think the plethora of medical procedures and then being ripped apart from two very loving and capable parents has traumatised him.

Last week he had his immunisations and then had contact after. He was boiling hot and cried the whole time. This was not our little boy. Our boy was happy and relaxed and would often be so chilled and content with the normal routine of basic needs and extra cuddles and kisses. Now, he was inconsolable and fractious. We had never seen him like this. This was, what I assume, everyone meant by we would know if pain was experienced by our son due to his injuries but other than in a hospital, we had never heard anything like it.

Well, yesterday it happened again. I lifted him out of the car seat and he was inconsolable but a shrill, high pitched cry. I am worried that by saying ‘I didn’t know what to do’ as I had NEVER heard him like this, will come back to haunt me. We had to ask for the foster carer to be brought back and I do think they will stop contact if our baby continues to be like this. How can a baby go from happy and relaxed to this? One day he was loving life with us and the next he’s ripped away but also last week we had contact and have a video of how happy he is with us, we have received photos of our son when in foster care and he seems very unhappy… he doesn’t smile in most of the photos whereas we have so many of how content and loved he was with us!!! He was so happy and then the next day, gut wrenching upset. Nobody can understand why he has reacted like this but I’m worried that it will be used against us in court as a way to get our baby put up for adoption. We are innocent, loving parents who just want to cherish our little one, like most mothers get to do during the most important bonding time between a baby and their parents.

Will the judge see this separation could be hurting our child? We feel so helpless watching him leave each time. Before this clear painful upset, he would be upset when we placed him back in the car seat to leave us. It’s like something has finally snapped with how many medical procedures he has gone through and the constant separation from him. What can we do? Does anyone have any advice for this?

I know we are innocent and this will be figured out by all once all the facts are in court but I’m not petrified that they will use this separation to continue to keep our son away from us. We were a great family before all of this. W shave agreed to everything LA want but now it really seems to be hurting our son and I have no clue how to make it better for him

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear MummyofL2001

Welcome to Family Rights Group’s parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post.

My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am very sorry to hear that your baby son has suffered some unexplained injuries. He is now in temporary foster care. You are in care proceedings. I can see how worrying and distressing this situation is for you. You are also worried that being separated from his parents is distressing your baby too.

You have set out very clearly all the circumstances which led to your baby being placed in foster care. It is very helpful that you have kept a note of all the different issues, have photos and videos of your son prior to this and that you are considering the different possibilities that you think may explain your son’s injuries. This will be very relevant to your discussion with your family lawyer and criminal lawyer. It is very complex and is not something that I cannot comment on. The family court works on the balance of probabilities. It will explore all possibilities very carefully, with the use of medical experts too.

You may find it helpful to look at the following information about alleged Non Accidental Injuries and the legal processes that follow:

• Physical abuse/Non accidental injuries
• Care proceedings
• Children in the care system under a court order.

You may also find the following useful:

• NPSCC information on fractures in children
• Child Protection Resources information the social worker tells me my child has been hurt
• Child Protection Resource information what happens when a child gets hurt and we don’t know who did it
Parents Accused

From what you have said I think that your baby is placed with an unrelated foster carer. If you have a family member or friend who may be able to care for your baby then you should let your solicitor and your social worker know as soon as possible so that they can be assessed. You can ask for a family group conference to bring your network together.

You are worried that your son has been very upset during recent contact sessions. You mention that one session followed your son having his immunisations. Many babies are unsettled after having their jabs as professionals will know. This may have made that time with your son particularly difficult. There may be many different reasons why a young baby is distressed including while separated from their parents. You can ask for help or advice to manage your son’s and your distress from any of the professionals involved such as your son’s health visitor. You have a legal right to spend time with your baby son. He also a right to see you, as long as it is safe for him. Your contact can only be stopped if the court agrees that this is necessary for your son’s welfare and protection. As your contact with your son is supervised you can access copies of the supervision notes to make sure they accurately represent the situation. This is something you can discuss with your solicitor.

If you want to discuss how contact is going or any worries you have about your son while he is in foster care then you should speak to his social worker. Or you can contact your son’s Independent Reviewing Officer if needed.

You mentioned your concern that your baby could be put up for adoption. Adoption must be considered as a possible outcome for children in care proceedings but it is a ‘last resort’ and courts have clarified that this decision can only be made ‘if nothing else will do’. You can find out more about this here. However, the best thing is to continue to work with the professionals and to liaise closely with your solicitor about your situation so that they can fully advise you during the care proceedings, based on the evidence in court.

Please see our guides to working with a solicitor and working with a social worker for practical advice.

Do you have any support for yourself at this time? Please see our useful links here where you can search for support or advice services. You may be interested in MATCH which is a charity supporting mothers apart from their children.

I hope this is helpful.

If you have any further queries about children’s services then please post again on this forum, call our freephone advice line (0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm) or use our advice enquiry or webchat facilities.

Best wishes

Suzie