Needing Help ICPC

[Aystral]

Hi everyone, I made a post in the DV thing and had some response however things have escalated.

Bit of back my husband I have been together for 2 years we have a fantastic relationship, we work with children, we don’t drink or do drugs and have no criminal background.

We have a 4 month old baby.

My husband suffers with mental health which has gotten worse, he has reached out for help before but has been rejected. He reached out for help and claimed he had been hurting me to get fast tracked for help (I was unaware of this and want to state my husband has never ever laid a hand of me ever)

They are now investigating for DV, the police came round with social workers but the police left as I said nothing happened and they were happy with the statements they gathered

Social services however told me minimal, made me sign something and then told me my husband had to leave.

They then gave me minimal contact with themselves and I was left alone. Scared and confused about what just happened.

A social worker came round talked to me and then called me 2 days later telling me there is going to be an ICPC on Friday…. They have given us absolutely no time and have rushed everything.
They decided on an ICPC before contacting any one else or completing their assessments.

I support my husband and he has never ever hurt me we have no DV in our household and I would never ever be with anyone who would hurt me yet alone my own child.

They have just given me their assessment report today (Wednesday night) and honestly I am not happy. They have made lies within the report and are constantly contridicing themselves
They are painting me out to be an victim and even stated

“I was laughing and not taking the whole situation seriously and was finding it amusing.” - this is absolutely BS if I say so myself. I feel as if I’m living a nightmare.

Not only this they are staying I haven’t been in contact with people and they have been calling me and I have not answered which is not true they have called me and I have answered and did an assement with them twice! - I have proof of this.

There is other various things but the main thing is that it’s all untrue.

They have even stated they have no concern for ****** and then have said all of this?!

It’s all based on hearsay from a mentally ill person comment?

I’d understand if they had proof such as domestic incidents or I had called the police but I am literally saying these are untrue.

I am sad that this is all happening.

I’m happy to work with them but not if my husband is not home.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Aystral

Thank you for your further post and for the update. I am sorry that we were not able to reply to you sooner as the initial child protection conference will have already happened by now. It is understandable that you are sad and worried about the situation.

You raised a number of concerns about the way children’s services have worked with you and your husband to date, the late receipt of the social work report for the conference and errors within it. You can, of course, challenge any errors, misinterpretations or comments taken out of context. You should do so in writing, even if you were not able to do so before the conference happened.

As the conference will have decided by now the best thing may be for you to seek further advice based on this. If the conference found that your baby is at risk of continued significant harm they will make a child protection plan but if they do not believe that there is a continued risk of significant harm they will make a child in need plan.

A child protection plan is a statutory process so will continue even if you do not agree. You mentioned that you are not willing to work with them if your husband is not living at home. The conference considers the child’s welfare and how to keep them safe. In some situations this may mean a parent not living within the family home for the child’s safety. However, many children on child protection and child in need plans live at home with both parents. However, this is based on an assessment of risk. It is always better to be involved in plans and decisions for your child than to decline. Professionals’ concerns escalate if a parent stops cooperating.

Perhaps you could post again or call the freephone advice line (0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm) with an update and to then receive more targeted advice.

In the meantime, you may find the following specialist advice helpful:

adults with mental health difficulties

tips for mothers involved with children’s services because of concerns about domestic violence

child in need

child protection

guide to working with an advocate

template letter (1) request for an advocate

template letter (2) complaint about a child protection conference.

The most important things to do are to keep putting your child first and to keep working with children’s services and any other professionals involved. And of course, continue to ask for advice when you need it.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Aystral]

Hi Suzie,

Thank you for getting back.

We had the ICPC and to be honest I don’t know what I was so worried about.

My chair person was wonderful.

She listened and so did all the other professionals, I did lots of my own research building before the conference so I was fully prepared and equipped for any questions.

My solicitor came along side me and she was also so helpful.

I shared my views and got my voice listened too.

We did get subjected to a child protection plan however it is for my husbands mental health rather than the risk of domestic abuse.
There is no concerns towards my baby. And every single professional there agreed that my baby was healthy, happy and developing very well.
I was happy to hear this.

Our CPP mainly is evolved around my husband reaching out for help, and ensuring that our support system makes sure there is definitely no violence within the home.

I stood my ground that my husband needed to be home, the other professionals agreed with me even the person who my husband disclosed stuff too said my husband progress will only be delayed if he is not at home.

We had a chat after the conference with the social services and they said my husband can move back on the 22nd of this month. We’re also allowed to take our holiday that we have booked next week with other family.

To be honest. I’m over joyed with the outcome I know that might sound bizarre but I felt understood and listened to and didn’t feel like I was being victimised anymore and my husband is going to get the help he needs.

We were able to dispute all the factual inaccuracies and any information I was not happy with.

Thank you Suzie for responding to my posts.