Help

[RBF2]

I started to wrte my post and its dissappeared it seems to re write it is going to take too long i have 3 children 9 6 4 12jan my 9&6 years made a serious allegation about me and was lept @school till 7:45pm police & sw brought all3back to me but i had to be supervised 4 3&halfs weeks on 3feb we was put on child@risk i agreed to not chastise my cildren and let the be examined by school nurse (allegation i hit the 6&9year old wih sticks) totally not true did a volunteer police interveiw nfa my children did not do any interveiws 2march all 3was removed because i begged for help with oldest child behaviour all way through took notes was in contact with these fgr advisors i get supervised contact 330-5in a centre tues & fridays im doing everything i can yesterday was the resolution hearing my sw did not complete her tasks so all my focus was fighting for yesterday for it to not go a head i now have to more dates 5th sept and 17oct the sw profile me only did 3/4parenting assessment of course negative the sw telling court i have childhood trauma none of the faters have been involved for 5years yet the oldest is going to live with him none are on birth certificate hes a drinker i raise concerns and hes like this amazing dad my children are suffering little two was split up all 3are separate my youngest is non verbal since this i was very anxious depressed im on 100ml stereline iv completed cbt completed triple p completed a truma course i arrive on time always for contact even thoe my children dont i asked for an independent sw to re do my assessment they told me the youngest child dad wanted no involvement he contacted me on friday knowing nothing about this as i am in contact with hi mother shes been a great support she told him to get in touch the other two dads have violence on record o e is a alcoholic which no one will hear his mother was the one who stayed with me for the three and a half weeks he lives with her yet came no where near yet hes now going to have my daughter live with him when there is no plan for younger too no plan for siblings contact other than when i see all 3in contact im crushed i dont wanna put my children through any more of this trauma the la are doing they all want to come home i want them home what can i do as im fighting and loosing every step of the way can anybody help me please also done a family group conference have a massive support network around me sitters cousins aunts etc youngest one nan too please advice me kind regards
Me

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear RBF2

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser and will be responding to you today. I can see that you made two posts asking for advice on the same subject. I will respond to both posts here.

I am sorry to hear of your situation, it must be a very distressing time for you. I hope the information provided below is helpful to you.

You have three children, you are in care proceedings due to allegations of harming the children (you deny this). The children have been placed outside of your care, and the plan is for the children to live with their respective fathers. You are not in agreement to this, stating the father’s have not been involved in the children’s lives and are not named on their birth certificates. Moreover, two have been violent to you and another one has issues with alcohol. You have been working with children’s services and have completed a parenting assessment which has come back negative. There has been Family Group Conference (FRG), which has identified a wide support network who are willing to support you. However, you feel children’s services are not taking this into consideration and are adamant on removing the children from your care .

It is positive you have completed CBT and The Triple P parenting course and that you are committed to the family time you have with your children. It is to your credit that you have been able to concentrate on these matters at a very stressful time.

You are in care proceedings therefore I will assume you have a legal aid solicitor who is advocating on your behalf during the proceedings. It is important information is shared with your solicitor, that they fully understand what assessments you have completed and what you perceive the risks to be in relation to your ex-partners caring for the children. I have added a document HERE that you may find helpful. It is working with solicitors and social workers guidance. Please do take a look. Both have lots of information and guidance when working with solicitors and social workers and how to make the most of these relationships. They also have a section about what you may wish to consider if you are not satisfied with the services they are providing.

You have completed a family group conference which has identified a wide support network. This is positive and will hopefully contribute to the care plan for the children going forward. It will be important to know children’s services views regarding the plan and whether they agree it can meet the children best interest. This will be discussed in court.

The parenting assessment you have completed is negative and you feel it was not robust. It would be a good idea to discuss this with your solicitor and, depending on his advice (because he has all the evidence before him), you may wish to ask the court for an independent social worker to complete a new assessment. A social worker expert witness, more often called an independent social worker, is a trained social worker who undertakes independent assessments at various stages of legal proceedings, either at the pre-proceeding stage or during proceedings.

With regard to the father’s not being named on the birth certificates. If there are any concerns about parentage, the courts may ask for DNA tests to confirm (if they have not already done so). Following this the court may issue a Parental Responsibility Order .

The parenting assessment completed by the social worker states you have experienced childhood trauma. Did it identify any therapy or support you may benefit from to address this? Whilst you may not feel it is the right time for you to address such matters, it would be helpful to know where to go when (if) you do decide to seek support. I suggest you discuss this with the social worker and raise with your solicitor for discussion in court. I have added a document HERE that you may wish to share with your solicitor. It is a report called Set Up, To Fail from an organisation called Pause . The report focusses on the lack of support for mothers following recommendations from professionals within the court arena.

If you have any queries about children’s services please post again or contact the advice service via our:

• Freephone advice helpline, open Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 3pm
(excluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366.
• Web chat, or
• Advice enquiry form.

Best wishes, Suzie

[RBF2]

Thank you so much suzie the information is helpful my social worker isnt fourth coming to where i an supposed to get help support /anythink i contacted barnardos they are at a loss to with information regarding trauma courses etc i contacted my doctor have telephone appointment 1st August also when i did the new hampshire parenting informed trauma course i contacted the lady who did the course shes been helpful in sharing podcasts that iv been listening to there isnt no quick fix all i can do is keeping doing my very best and somehow evidence this which is really hard and this is where the struggle starts thank you again
Kind regards
Me

[RBF2]

Hi again a couple of things I don't feel my solicitor is fighting for me so many flaws the ss have more fiction and fact my contact has now been dropped from twice a week to only once supervised for 1&half hours would a private barrister win my case ????
Also my youngest daughter only whist she felt safe in rest bite while her foster careers was away told me that the foster career slapped my son who is none verbal before I was informed of this which has been about 3weeks now my son was moved as foster careers claimed he needed 24hr care untrue when my daughter told me this took place I rang police childline parent line nspcc got incident numbers etc the foster career have returned from holiday sw spoke to my daughter who will be 7 on Friday I had no further updates and I was in court yesterday they are saying my daughter lied so if she lied on them which I believe she's telling the truth % and what she said about me she's recantted how is it they believe her when what she said about me my children are being traumatised here and it's like no one cares they all apart from my none verbal son say they wanna come home if I was so bad they wouldn't be saying this they would say they don't want to see me they tell me things I ring my solicitor legal E as can never get to speak to my solicitor and he just says he will relay my message to my solicitor if I'm lucky I get an email days weeks later I had 3 parenting assessments out of 7/8 apparently negative this social worker hates me isn't it there job to keep families together not rip them appart all this no evidence what so ever iv done Triple p truma informed parenting cbt counselling all off my own back and get told iv done bare minimum from day 1 when they removed my kids I asked what do I need to do to get my family back never got an answer to this day 2nd March they stole my babies from school this is criminal had family group conference I had 20 family friends there and loads more who couldn't attend my brother works within the LA my sister and neices are teachers my sister in law and nephew work in the hospital if they believe I was abusing my children in any way they would never stand by and do nothing sw saying I have childhood Truama I haven't I knew I hadn't had to get assessed thoe my babies are loved and cared for there isn't nothing I won't do for them they never go with out they have manners dress great there is no evidence here so how do I go about being re assessed for parenting assessment isit best to pay a barrister rather than legal aid and how do I get my family back anyone on here who can advise I really need a heads up here

Kind regards me

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear RBF2,

I am sorry to hear that you are distressed and worried.

Firstly, in relation to the allegation that your daughter made about your son being hit by the foster carer. I am not clear from your post whether your son has been moved, however, it would be reasonable of you to ask the social worker to explain what steps the local authority took to look into this allegation and what steps have been taken to keep your children safe. If you continue to have worries, you may wish to contact the independent reviewing officer (IRO).

Secondly, your contact has been reduced. Please do speak to the social worker about this and ask why this has happened. Contact must always be in the children's best interest and they may be able to explain clearly to you why this decision was taken. You can ask what steps you can take for contact to return to twice a week. If you do not agree, please speak to the IRO and to your solicitor about your options.

Your case is currently in care proceedings. This means that a number of assessments will be completed before the final hearing. The local authority will put forward to the court what they think would be best for your children in the long-term. Ultimately, the judge will make a decision as to whether your children should return home. It is really important that you do understand why care proceedings were started in the first place - this means you can address the worries and concerns and engage with the necessary support. It sounds as though you have engaged with a lot of courses and this is encouraging. You mention that you have a negative parenting assessment - please do ask the social worker to explain to you why this was the case and speak to your solicitor about your options. You may be able to ask the court for another assessment or your solicitor can challenge the current assessment in court.

You mention that you would like to hire a 'private barrister.' There is a difference between a solicitor and a barrister. A solicitor is a qualified legal professional who practises law by advising and representing clients.
A solicitor will give support and advice, to explain a client’s options. They will help the client deal with letters and papers from children’s services or the court. They will represent their clients in court. In more complex cases, the solicitor may instruct a barrister to appear in court on behalf of the clients. A barrister is a different type of lawyer who specialises in court work. You may find it useful to read our top tips on working with your solicitor here. It is important to consider all avenues before changing solicitors - as a first step, you may want to contact other family law solicitors in your areas and see whether they would be willing to take on the case.

Best wishes,

Suzie.