Hi I am currently pregnant 29 weeks and have a child protection conference (multi-agency) meeting next week, me and my partner have been invited to discuss with the social services the concern they have about us both being together in relationship.
The reason for social involvement has been highlighted from police, due to me having called out police on 5-6 diff occasions, where the last occasion I called them and I said things about my partner which were false, i made up stuff as I was feeling of balance going through a mental breakdown, I was withdrawn from alcohol and having hallucinations and suffering physical and mental withdrawals, also It didn't help me having people telling me negative about my partner including my own probation officer (at the time I was on probation) therefore I was getting paranoid and suspicious of his loyalty to me and suspecting if he had negative agendas towards me. However he has never hurt me in any way whatsoever, but since I had called police out on numerous occasions they kept a log and I felt bad for calling them as I felt I just had to make up things to make it look as if I had a real reason to call them, when in fact I was just wasting police time due to my depression, anxiety and paranoia and I didn't realise the seriousness of it until now. I also had made allegations saying he has physically been aggresive to me when he ain't so I have built a bad picture of him all due to my instability in relationship, I also believed he was cheating on me and few other stuff, although I contracted my statement in the end.
However from the police passing information to social now they are still holding what I said about my partner against me and seems social services heavily involved because of it all.
I really am upset at how things escalate, and they are questioning whether I am fit as a mother mentally I ain't ever been in mental institution but I was a big drinker until I stopped since pregnant, and it's impacted me badly with first few months of withdrawal my partner supported me. I also feel like the social services may try to split us up because of my false allegations against him, they have told me to complete risk assessment and to do also pull out a Claire's law on him when I don't feel the need to do I won't. But also they are suggesting me and him to attend a domestic violence course together which Is not necessary either. Only thing I'm happy is to undertake a parenting course as I'm first time mother (expecting) so I know only that will be needed.
I'm wondering what are outcomes of this meeting and it's just all daunting knowing how a small web of lies can spin into a big web, I can't bear to jeopardise my family future it will break me into pieces.
child protection con HELP!!!
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4240
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: child protection con HELP!!!
Dear Missanna2017
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for our post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. Congratulations on your pregnancy.
You and your partner will be attending a pre-birth child protection conference next week about your unborn baby. One of the main concerns is about the risk of domestic abuse; there are concerns that your partner may be abusive towards you. You called the police on a number of occasions to report your partner’s behaviour but you have now retracted these serious allegations. There can be many reasons why a victim retracts their allegations and this does not necessarily lessen the concerns that professionals have, in fact, it can increase them.
From the information you have provided, children’s services have not currently recommended that you and your partner separate but they have suggested to you that you do a Clare’s Law (domestic violence disclosure scheme) application and that you attend a domestic violence course together. These would appear to be reasonable recommendations under the circumstances although at present you do think they are needed as you say that the relationship is not abusive.
Perhaps you and your partner would find it helpful to look at our information on domestic abuse and in particular our FAQs on domestic abuse for mothers and fathers . It is particularly important to think about the effect that domestic abuse can have on children including before they are born. Domestic abuse is taken very seriously; a child witnessing domestic abuse meets the legal definition of significant harm.
In addition to the concerns about your relationship, you mention other factors which the social worker and the professionals will consider at the conference such as mental health difficulties and past alcohol use. It sounds as if you have worked really hard to address your alcohol use and stopped when you were pregnant. It is good that your partner was able to support you with this too. It will be important to keep up the progress that you have made in this respect and there are likely to be recommendations made about this.
The parenting course sounds like a great idea and you are happy to agree to this.
I can see that you are worried about the outcomes of the conference and what this will mean for you and your partner and your baby. The purpose of the conference is to decide whether or not a child protection plan needs to be developed to keep your baby safe and well. If it is decided that your baby is suffering or likely to suffer significant harm then a child protection plan will be made. If your baby is not found to be at risk of harm then a child in need plan will be recommended. If a child protection plan is made then this will continue until ended by a Review conference, even if you do not agree with it.
These tips will help you prepare for the conference. I would encourage you to read them as they are designed to help you take part in the meeting, hear and respond to any concerns , understand what children’s services and other agencies are worried about and what you can do to reduce these concerns. Working with the professionals to ensure that your baby is safe and well is key. We also have tips on working with social workers to help too.
If you want to bring a friend or family member to support you at the meeting you can. Also if you think that bringing together your family/friends network would help you to care for and keep your baby safe you could ask for a family group conference to be arranged. Please see here for more information about this.
I hope that this helps. If you would like to talk through your situation with an adviser before or after the meeting please call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366 – the lines are open Mon to Fri (except bank holidays), from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm. Or if you would prefer to post back on this forum with any further queries please do.
With best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for our post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. Congratulations on your pregnancy.
You and your partner will be attending a pre-birth child protection conference next week about your unborn baby. One of the main concerns is about the risk of domestic abuse; there are concerns that your partner may be abusive towards you. You called the police on a number of occasions to report your partner’s behaviour but you have now retracted these serious allegations. There can be many reasons why a victim retracts their allegations and this does not necessarily lessen the concerns that professionals have, in fact, it can increase them.
From the information you have provided, children’s services have not currently recommended that you and your partner separate but they have suggested to you that you do a Clare’s Law (domestic violence disclosure scheme) application and that you attend a domestic violence course together. These would appear to be reasonable recommendations under the circumstances although at present you do think they are needed as you say that the relationship is not abusive.
Perhaps you and your partner would find it helpful to look at our information on domestic abuse and in particular our FAQs on domestic abuse for mothers and fathers . It is particularly important to think about the effect that domestic abuse can have on children including before they are born. Domestic abuse is taken very seriously; a child witnessing domestic abuse meets the legal definition of significant harm.
In addition to the concerns about your relationship, you mention other factors which the social worker and the professionals will consider at the conference such as mental health difficulties and past alcohol use. It sounds as if you have worked really hard to address your alcohol use and stopped when you were pregnant. It is good that your partner was able to support you with this too. It will be important to keep up the progress that you have made in this respect and there are likely to be recommendations made about this.
The parenting course sounds like a great idea and you are happy to agree to this.
I can see that you are worried about the outcomes of the conference and what this will mean for you and your partner and your baby. The purpose of the conference is to decide whether or not a child protection plan needs to be developed to keep your baby safe and well. If it is decided that your baby is suffering or likely to suffer significant harm then a child protection plan will be made. If your baby is not found to be at risk of harm then a child in need plan will be recommended. If a child protection plan is made then this will continue until ended by a Review conference, even if you do not agree with it.
These tips will help you prepare for the conference. I would encourage you to read them as they are designed to help you take part in the meeting, hear and respond to any concerns , understand what children’s services and other agencies are worried about and what you can do to reduce these concerns. Working with the professionals to ensure that your baby is safe and well is key. We also have tips on working with social workers to help too.
If you want to bring a friend or family member to support you at the meeting you can. Also if you think that bringing together your family/friends network would help you to care for and keep your baby safe you could ask for a family group conference to be arranged. Please see here for more information about this.
I hope that this helps. If you would like to talk through your situation with an adviser before or after the meeting please call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366 – the lines are open Mon to Fri (except bank holidays), from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm. Or if you would prefer to post back on this forum with any further queries please do.
With best wishes
Suzie
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