So like everyone else a bit of a long story.
I’ve been with my partner for 2 years, engaged for about a year. He did tell me when we first started dating that he was arrested in 2013 for IIOC but it was a mistaken identity and not him at all so nothing further had happened.
I got pregnant in December last year and in January he was charged with IIOC and inciting and child, all dating back to quite a long time ago (2016-2018).
He insisted it wasn’t him and his phone had been hacked so pleaded not guilty at magistrates and it will be heard in crown court later this year.
He then received further charges after a voluntary police interview in May, these relate to further IIOC found between 2019-2020. I was not aware he had been arrested in 2020 only months before we started dating so am furious about this breach of trust. He continues to deny all of it. It is likely this will be joined with the other case at crown court later this year or early next year.
Obviously I have been pregnant this whole time and am now due in about a month.
My mum rang my midwife and told her what was going on so I had a call from my midwife yesterday to say she is sending a referral to childrens services.
I am so scared about what they are going to say and whether they might take my baby away from me.
In terms of my partners alleged offending as he denies it I have left that as a matter for the courts to decide and will make a decision then as to whether to continue the relationship.
This was why I hadn’t said anything to my midwife or childrens services as I thought he was innocent until proven guilty but apparently it does not work like that for childrens services.
I desperately do not want them to take my baby away but at the same time I am worried I may be asked to remove myself and the baby from the house and prevent access by my partner. He could miss her first months of life completely and is devastated at the prospect. If I did have to leave I would likely have to go and stay with my mum who I used to live with several years ago and it had severe impacts on my mental health so I am worried about that too.
How should I behave/what should I say or do when childrens services do call or visit to ensure I can get the best outcome for my family?
Is there anything I should be doing now to prepare?
Thank you
Partner has charges for IIOC
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Need help 2021
- Posts: 161
- Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm
Re: Partner has charges for IIOC
Hi do you know how to inbox in person
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4256
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Partner has charges for IIOC
Dear Newmumnightmare,
Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.
You say in your post that you have been with your partner for two years. He was arrested in 2013 for possession of indecent images of children, which he said was a case of mistake identity and that this has not resulted in anything further. In January 2022 he was arrested for possession of indecent images of children and inciting a child to engage in sexual activity between 2016-2018. He has pled not guilty to this and the case is due to be heard in crown court later this year. He received further charges in May for indecent images found between 2019-2020. You were not aware that he has been arrested in 2020. Your partner continues to deny any wrongdoing. You are currently pregnant and due to give birth in a month. Your midwife has made a referral to children's services after your mother informed her of what was happening. You say that you are worried that children's services may try and remove your baby. You say that you would like the courts to decide whether or not your partner is guilty and have not made a decision about the future of your relationship, which was why you had not informed children's services. You say you are also concerned about being asked to leave the home with your child and asked to limit or prevent contact. You would like to know what you should do or say when children's services contact you in order to ensure the best outcome for your family.
Firstly, now that children's services have received a referral from your midwife, it is likely they will open a pre-birth assessment. When an assessment is carried out in relation to an unborn baby, it is called a pre-birth assessment. It will include the social worker speaking with the mother’s midwife and other relevant health practitioners. The aim of the assessment is to find out if whether the family need, or will need, extra support and whether the baby will be safe when they are born. There are a number of outcomes that can come from a pre-birth assessment - if they think your baby would benefit from extra support, they may offer a child in need plan. Please take a look here to read more about this. They may be concerned that your child could suffer significant harm when they are born. If this is the case, they may hold an initial child protection conference to decide whether your baby should be on a child protection plan. Look here to read more about this.
In some cases, children's services may be worried that it is not safe enough for the baby to return home with the parents once it is born. This means they may decide to initiate pre-proceedings. Pre-proceedings is the process where children’s services consider whether to start care proceedings. During this process, children’s services will assess the family and consider whether they need to begin care proceedings to keep the baby safe. The parents or carers will have the chance to show whether they are likely to be able to care safely for their child. If this does happen, you will be entitled to a solicitor and is it really important that you seek the support of one as soon as possible. Please see here for more information.
Finally, children's services may decide that they have to take immediate steps to protect the child once it is born. This may mean that they ask you to agree to the baby being accommodated on a voluntary basis elsewhere, ask the police to take the child into police protection or seek an emergency protection order. They may also make an application to start care proceedings. This is all summarised here. Children's services can only remove your child from your care without your consent if they have an order from the court that allows them to do this.
You say in your post that you are worried that you will be asked to restrict contact between your baby and your partner. It is important that you recognise that children's services are likely to be concerned about your partner's arrests and the risk he may pose to your baby. You say that you are considering your partner innocent until proven guilty - as you know, children's services do not use this threshold will consider that your partner may be a risk, whether or not he has been convicted of a crime. Children's services may also be concerned if you are unable to show insight into this, given that your partner has been arrested on multiple occasions. They will expect you to act in a protective capacity and to put your unborn child's interests first. If they assess that contact would not be in your child's best interests, they may ask him to move out and for contact to be withheld or restricted. If you do not follow these recommendations, they may escalate their level of involvement, up to initiating care proceedings, which could result in your child being removed. I am unable to tell you what contact arrangements they may recommend. If children's services decide that your partner should not be around your child, it is likely that he will be asked to move out of the home.
In terms of next steps, I would advise that you ask the social worker that is allocated to your case to explain to you what to expect from an assessment. You should also ask what steps you can take to demonstrate that you are able to provide a safe home for your child. It would be useful for your partner to request a a specialist risk assessment by an organisation such as Lucy Faithful. Your partner can also contact their Stop It Now helpline on 0808 1000 900, for confidential advice for people who have offended online. You can also contact Lucy Faithful for support as the relative of someone who has offended online.
Please do take a look at our page for parents-to-be for a summary of this advice.
I hope you have found this helpful.
Best wishes,
Suzie.
Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.
You say in your post that you have been with your partner for two years. He was arrested in 2013 for possession of indecent images of children, which he said was a case of mistake identity and that this has not resulted in anything further. In January 2022 he was arrested for possession of indecent images of children and inciting a child to engage in sexual activity between 2016-2018. He has pled not guilty to this and the case is due to be heard in crown court later this year. He received further charges in May for indecent images found between 2019-2020. You were not aware that he has been arrested in 2020. Your partner continues to deny any wrongdoing. You are currently pregnant and due to give birth in a month. Your midwife has made a referral to children's services after your mother informed her of what was happening. You say that you are worried that children's services may try and remove your baby. You say that you would like the courts to decide whether or not your partner is guilty and have not made a decision about the future of your relationship, which was why you had not informed children's services. You say you are also concerned about being asked to leave the home with your child and asked to limit or prevent contact. You would like to know what you should do or say when children's services contact you in order to ensure the best outcome for your family.
Firstly, now that children's services have received a referral from your midwife, it is likely they will open a pre-birth assessment. When an assessment is carried out in relation to an unborn baby, it is called a pre-birth assessment. It will include the social worker speaking with the mother’s midwife and other relevant health practitioners. The aim of the assessment is to find out if whether the family need, or will need, extra support and whether the baby will be safe when they are born. There are a number of outcomes that can come from a pre-birth assessment - if they think your baby would benefit from extra support, they may offer a child in need plan. Please take a look here to read more about this. They may be concerned that your child could suffer significant harm when they are born. If this is the case, they may hold an initial child protection conference to decide whether your baby should be on a child protection plan. Look here to read more about this.
In some cases, children's services may be worried that it is not safe enough for the baby to return home with the parents once it is born. This means they may decide to initiate pre-proceedings. Pre-proceedings is the process where children’s services consider whether to start care proceedings. During this process, children’s services will assess the family and consider whether they need to begin care proceedings to keep the baby safe. The parents or carers will have the chance to show whether they are likely to be able to care safely for their child. If this does happen, you will be entitled to a solicitor and is it really important that you seek the support of one as soon as possible. Please see here for more information.
Finally, children's services may decide that they have to take immediate steps to protect the child once it is born. This may mean that they ask you to agree to the baby being accommodated on a voluntary basis elsewhere, ask the police to take the child into police protection or seek an emergency protection order. They may also make an application to start care proceedings. This is all summarised here. Children's services can only remove your child from your care without your consent if they have an order from the court that allows them to do this.
You say in your post that you are worried that you will be asked to restrict contact between your baby and your partner. It is important that you recognise that children's services are likely to be concerned about your partner's arrests and the risk he may pose to your baby. You say that you are considering your partner innocent until proven guilty - as you know, children's services do not use this threshold will consider that your partner may be a risk, whether or not he has been convicted of a crime. Children's services may also be concerned if you are unable to show insight into this, given that your partner has been arrested on multiple occasions. They will expect you to act in a protective capacity and to put your unborn child's interests first. If they assess that contact would not be in your child's best interests, they may ask him to move out and for contact to be withheld or restricted. If you do not follow these recommendations, they may escalate their level of involvement, up to initiating care proceedings, which could result in your child being removed. I am unable to tell you what contact arrangements they may recommend. If children's services decide that your partner should not be around your child, it is likely that he will be asked to move out of the home.
In terms of next steps, I would advise that you ask the social worker that is allocated to your case to explain to you what to expect from an assessment. You should also ask what steps you can take to demonstrate that you are able to provide a safe home for your child. It would be useful for your partner to request a a specialist risk assessment by an organisation such as Lucy Faithful. Your partner can also contact their Stop It Now helpline on 0808 1000 900, for confidential advice for people who have offended online. You can also contact Lucy Faithful for support as the relative of someone who has offended online.
Please do take a look at our page for parents-to-be for a summary of this advice.
I hope you have found this helpful.
Best wishes,
Suzie.
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