Story of encouragement Wrongly Accused NAI

[GFK89]

I really needed to read this.

We are going through this in XXX in XXX right now. Unfortunately i have had two incidents with our child. Both totally innocent and the first one wasnt actually my fault but they got a bruise so i took them to the dr to check it out. Second one my child got a bruise due to an accident on play equipment. Ended up with a bruise on their arm. Took them to drs and the next thing i know we are having our child removed. They made us sign our child over with threats of police action if we didn't, then told us its voluntary.

Im terrified my child is going to be permanently removed because i was such an idiot. But literally being called a child abuser has been sickening. Im considering taking this to press if they dont give my child back. I dont mean just local papers, i mean national talk shows etc to highlight how wrong this approach is. We go to drs out of care for our children's welfare. What we get in return isnt support or reassurance, but suspicion, judgment and false accusations which completely destroy our lives. This is wrong on so many levels. Everyone has been shocked at how far they took it with no care that both times were completely explained. Even the nurses and drs were telling me that since our local authority had two kids die due to their failures over the last few years they are being overly cautious due to all the bad press... Well thats great for them but past failings doesnt mean its ok to literally destroy people and their families all because they dont want to get in trouble with press again. The medical report was completely false as well which hasnt helped matters.

This idea parents never have accidents with their kids is beyond insanity and we are heartbroken and terrified of whats going to happen.

[KatKat10]

Sorry to hear you are going through this and that you get a positive outcome. You have people in jobs these days who do not have children and are clueless on how to care for children, therefore do not understand children, how they play etc. Kids cannot go through life never getting a bruise, scratched knee etc, it is unrealistic to think this.

I hope you read through the postings on this forum and take the advice from others, my advice is to keep a written log of everything and get everything in writing. You could complain now, but they could use this against you. Focus on getting your child returned home and then do the complaint. Yes they will try and whitewash and protect each other, but keep going and going to the bitter end.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

I really needed to read this.

We are going through this in XXX in XXX right now. Unfortunately i have had two incidents with our child. Both totally innocent and the first one wasnt actually my fault but they got a bruise so i took them to the dr to check it out. Second one my child got a bruise due to an accident on play equipment. Ended up with a bruise on their arm. Took them to drs and the next thing i know we are having our child removed. They made us sign our child over with threats of police action if we didn't, then told us its voluntary.

Im terrified my child is going to be permanently removed because i was such an idiot. But literally being called a child abuser has been sickening. Im considering taking this to press if they dont give my child back. I dont mean just local papers, i mean national talk shows etc to highlight how wrong this approach is. We go to drs out of care for our children's welfare. What we get in return isnt support or reassurance, but suspicion, judgment and false accusations which completely destroy our lives. This is wrong on so many levels. Everyone has been shocked at how far they took it with no care that both times were completely explained. Even the nurses and drs were telling me that since our local authority had two kids die due to their failures over the last few years they are being overly cautious due to all the bad press... Well thats great for them but past failings doesnt mean its ok to literally destroy people and their families all because they dont want to get in trouble with press again. The medical report was completely false as well which hasnt helped matters.

This idea parents never have accidents with their kids is beyond insanity and we are heartbroken and terrified of whats going to happen.

Dear GFK89

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear that your child has been hurt and has been removed from your care.

You explained that on two occasions your child had bruises. Each time you acted appropriately by taking them to the doctors. On the second occasion, there was some concern about the nature of the bruise or the explanation given as to how it occurred. As a result, a child protection investigation began.

You were asked to agree to a section 20 voluntary arrangement for your child to be placed with carers. Children’s services’ indicated that if you did not consent to this they would ask the police to take your child into police protection. You should not have been coerced into agreeing.

Section 20 is voluntary. You still have full parental responsibility in this situation and can end your agreement at any time. However, if children’s services were still concerned that your child may not be safe if returned home this could lead to them making a court application for an emergency protection order. Please see this detailed advice on section 20 voluntary arrangements.

I understand that this is a very stressful and difficult situation to face. It is important, though, to focus on your own child’s situation and to understand that there is a concern about your child’s bruise that has not been explained. Every child’s situation is different and must be assessed based on their circumstances. You believe that the medical report was false. You can seek a second medical opinion or say why you dispute it but it is unwise to dismiss it as false as the professionals will be taking it seriously unless it is disproved.

It is not possible to give very detailed advice due to the limited information given. If your child is with stranger foster carers but there is a family member or friend who is willing to be assessed to care for them then you can put them forward to be assessed urgently. Children’s services have a legal duty to place looked after children with a family or friend carer (who must be temporarily approved as a foster carer ) if their parent cannot care for them. Family and friends should be considered before unrelated foster carers.

It is not clear from your post exactly what process you are in now. There may be a child protection plan in place as well as Looked After Child procedures. You might be in a Public Law Outline process or care proceedings. You will have legal representation if you are in PLO or care proceedings. You can find out much more about these processes, by reading the linked information provided.

Your child can return home to your care if you end your consent to the S20 voluntary arrangement and children’s services agree that it is safe for them to come home. Or, if there is a court order in place, then the court must agree to this. The court could make or end a court order allowing your child’s return. The media cannot make these decisions. Your child’s situation is confidential and, in family court cases, there are serious consequences for breaching their confidentiality. It is best to work with professionals, understand and address any concerns, challenge constructively if needed and get specific legal advice about your child’s case.

Please see working with a social worker and working with a solicitor for tips on these issues.
I can see how heart-breaking this whole situation is for you. This is totally understandable. But it really important to focus on doing what you need to do to ensure that your child can come home.

Please call our freephone advice line if you would like to discuss your situation with an adviser; the lines are open from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, Mon to Fri (except bank holidays). Or post again with a further query. If you prefer, you can ask a question via web chat or advice enquiry.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Boogie65]

I am currently going through this because my son had bruises from where he bites himself (when overwhelmed due to attachment and trauma according to the CAMHS team) but the paediatrician said in their opinion it’s not bite marks even though I’ve sent the actual proof of him doing it to himself, so they’ve removed all my children 2 weeks ago and I won’t know anything until tomorrow. I’m terrified I will lose them forever and I just don’t know where else to turn, thank you for your hopeful story, I hope mine come home too and good luck xx

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Boogie65

Welcome to the board.

I am sorry to read of your situation. Firstly, this website called Parents Accused may be helpful to you. Child Protection Resource has some information too.

Next information from our website about child protection and this document called Working Together to Safeguard Children 2018.

If you would like to speak in confidence with one of our advisers please call our telephone service on 0808 801 0366, our lines are open Monday to Friday from 9.30am to 3.00pm. You can access us on Webchat too on Mondays and Wednesdays from 2.00pm to 4.00pm.

Best wishes

Suzie