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whyohwhy123
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 04, 2019 7:14 pm

Help

Post by whyohwhy123 » Wed Oct 23, 2019 3:54 pm

Hi,

To try to summarize a little here, I would appreciate anyone's advice on the matter please. About a year ago, I was very unwell with my mental health, it was only over short period of time, however, a group of people called social services, and at the time, I decided it was best to allow my ex husband in the house to look after the children, and as they were constantly seeing me in my dressing gown I moved out I had constant contact with the children and have built up what is now a really good relationship with them. I spend at least 4 nights at home with them. Social services left us a year ago knowing the circumstances and what was happening, and we weren't told to phone them again and there was no follow up. They never visited and we were never allocated a social worker.
However, someone in the city we live, has seen be round about a little more,. probably because I saved up and bought a car, they took photos, and sent them to social services and said 'she is back'. Social services are now doing a full assessment on us, even though we were never told to inform them and they were aware of the circumstances, the children are now having to go through this whole thing again, we are now awaiting an outcome, my problem with this is why now? nothings changed, we have worked so hard over the last year to sort things out, if they wanted to be involved surely then would have been the best time, not a year down the line, now assessing if I am a good mother or not,
Other problem, is one of the parents when I go and pick my daughter up from school, she thinks I shouldn't be allowed to see them, so she stops the car opposite mine and stares at me, my child and her children are in the cars, she also mumbles stuff when I stop for my daughter, but I am not sure a year on what exactly I can do about this. Not sure if it would make things worse to explain this to social services, it seems never ending
I am stuck in situation where we were moving on, and they have come back in, I would have been willing to do anything over the year, why because someone makes a complaint again, is it then seen as necessary to now do this, for weekends I was put on supervised access with my ex husband, however, over the last year I have been on holiday with them every school holidays, and picked them up from school 3 nights a week and stayed in the same house.
My husband has told them I am no risk, I am on long term medication (severe anxiety) and I have done CBT, got a full time job, taking up running, etc and try my best.
Advice please?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2660
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Help

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Oct 25, 2019 3:27 pm

Dear wnyohwhy123,

Welcome to the Parent’s Forum.

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you had due to your mental health, a year ago, which meant children services became involved. At the time there appeared to be lots of changes, including dad taking over some of the care of the children and he moved into the family home. You still remained involved with your children and you see them 4 nights a week. Children services were happy with the progress your family made and closed the case.

Since that time, you say your mental health has improved as you are on medication, have had CBT and you are exercising and working now.
You say that children services were fully aware of your involvement with your children when they closed their case.

It seems that a further referral has been made to children services and children services are doing another assessment of your family. But you seem unclear as to why. You say nothing has changed. Have you asked the social worker why she is carrying out a further assessment and who made the referral?

Is the referral something to do with your mental health or is there another reason? If the social worker is worried about your mental health, you could seek advice from your GP. Ask your GP about any a further mental health assessment and about support.
Or you could speak to Mind or Rethink.

Here is information about social work assessments.

As you can see the assessment should last up to 9 weeks and you should get a copy of the written assessment at the end which should recommend whether or not support is going to be provided. It is normal for the social worker to speak to the school, nursery, health professionals such as your GP and the health visitor. If there is any professional you think she should speak to, you should give their details to her.
If at any point during the assessment, the social worker was worried that your children were suffering significant harm or likely to suffer significant harm then there would be child protection enquires .
You say things were moving forward but now children services are involved again you feel stuck in the situation. I can see how you might feel that. It might seem like an unnecessary delay but if you continue to work with the social worker, as she has to work with you, hopefully things will be back on track for your family. You can point out all the positives that you mention as well as asking what else can you do as mum to move things forward.

With regard to the parent who stops in her car and stares as you, don’t worry too much. You never know, she may have her own difficulties going on. .

I have only touched on your post but if you have any other questions or need further advice, please post again.
Best wishes,
Suzie

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