Is this fair?

[Babycat]

Hi

The social services got involved due to father being being on the sex offenders register. I am no longer with the father nor am I in contact with him but he does have an hours supervised contact once a week which I attend to the dislike of social services but if the contact s have to happen then there's no way I'm leaving my baby in that situation (contact s are supervised by a social worker assistant) My baby is now 12 weeks old.

however despite them becoming involved because of the father and not me they have hardly any interaction with the father but a huge amount of things put on me.

They say they have no concerns about my care of my child but need to do assessments to check I can protect him from the father, which is fair enough, but also are going to do a parenting assessment of me (is the usual?). They are also making me live with my parents until all assessments and court are complete which really isn't the best situation for us to live in as we are very cramped in the house with 4 adults. Also just to confirm I do all my sons care as a single parent my parents don't get involved unless I want them to.

The biggest difficulty we're having though is that they have also done viability assessments of my parents and sister saying that this is because if for any reason they decide I cannot care for him in the future then its the first part done of the sgo process. This is despite then not having a problem with my care and i know I am a God mother and there is no reason for this, But now even though there saying they have no problems with my care of my baby and they say there not planning or expecting for anyone else to need to care for my baby. It has now been decided that they are going to do full Sgo assessments on my parents and sister, I think just to satisfy the court.

Neither my parents or sister want to do them or see any need for them as they know I am the best person to care for my son myself, but feel they are being forced to despite there thoughts.
Social services even plan to end the child protection plan three months early as my baby is being well cared for and father isn't around.

We're also not 100% sure what happens in these sgo assessments as the social worker has not told us anything but from reading online we believe they are very intense prying into there lives and also involve medicals and references which will be difficult as we have decided not to tell anyone of social services involvement or of fathers crimes due to not wanting to put anyone else through the anxiety and for the protection of myself and my child.

We're not sure what to do as we're being told to cooperate with social services but we don't agree with what there doing or see any reason as to why there doing it.

It is also coursing is all especially me a lot of anxiety and stress.

[PerfectlySafeDad]

If you're being assessed for one particular reason, they'll assess you on 'everything' else too for good measure, to tick their boxes. It's a catastrophe for any parent to come to the attention of social services for any reason at all, because they seem to think they have both the duty and the right to take over complete leadership of the children, and it will drag on and on. I am not sure whether it's mainly back-covering, or that they're simply c***s who enjoy the power. I'm really not.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Baby cat,

Welcome to the Parent’s Forum. Congratulations on the birth of your baby.

I am assuming the court proceedings you refer to are care proceedings.

It appears that children services took the proceedings due to the father of your child being on the sex offenders register. Children services are assessing your ability to protect your baby from dad’s risk. I am guessing that originally you might have been in denial about dad being risky and that’s why care proceedings were taken. Is that right? Or that dad has been assessed as particularly dangerous.

Now there are care proceedings, it is absolutely normal that the court will want you to have a full parenting assessment as you will not have been able to have that before your baby was born. But ask your solicitor why as well.

People often think "that given the risk isn’t me why does this need to happen?". This is because the courts will want things to be looked at from all angles and deeply to check whether you might need support to safely parent your baby and protect baby going into the future.

Have a look at out information about assessments .
On top of the social worker assessment, they may also be expert assessments such as psychological assessments to see whether you could be susceptible to being manipulated or groomed by dad in the future to allow him unsupervised contact with your baby.

For more information about protecting children from sexual abuse, have a look at Parents Protect website.
By the end of the care proceedings, which should be within 26 weeks, the court will want to be able to make a decision about where your baby will live permanently.

It is this 26 week timescale that makes children services assess all the people who your baby could live with at the same time.

It can take 4 months to assess family members. There is not enough time to assess you, and only if you fail, then to go on and assess your parents. That’s why you are all assessed at the same time. This might be called parallel planning.

If the assessments find that you are not able to safely parent baby, then your family will be expected to look after your baby until she or he is 18. Usually, but not always, family will be expected to apply for special guardianship orders. Look at our advice sheet 19 about special guardianship orders.
Have a look at our and FAQ’s about care proceedings.

I hope this helps. Any questions please post back or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366 for in depth support.

Best wishes,
Suzie