Help revoking an SGO
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2018 4:59 pm
Hi. My 5 year old daughter got placed on an SGO with my parents this March. I'll try explain the best I can what happened. I moved out of my parents house when I was 16 (I'm 26 now. I had my daughter when I was 21). I was brought up in a middle class family and I went to an all girls school and I basically rebelled from it and ended up getting kicked out of college and 'ruining' my life. I was filled with endless regrets from moving out of what I could of done with my life. I was on benefits, never had a job or qualifications and I fell pregnant with my daughter in 2012. My daughters father was violent when he was drunk and we both consumed a lot of alcohol before my pregnancy and also after. We broke up in 2015 and my life took more of a spiral downhill from then. I fell into the wrong crowd and I was drinking a lot. I never new where my limit was and I drank until I near enough passed out. I got myself in around £16,000 of debt and I was drinking to try cope with life. My regrets, debt and low self esteem caused me to drink excessively to block it out. I got several warnings from social services and kept going back to my old ways. I wasn't a good mother. I failed to get my daughter to nursery, my house was always a mess and I always had people round, drinking. Last May (2017) I took an overdose whilst drunk when my daughter was in my sole care. I got rushed to hospital and my daughters father said enough was enough and him and social services put my daughter in his care. This was never a legal agreement and there was a written agreement to say when I had sorted myself out that my daughter would be put back into my care when her father and social services were satisfied I had changed for good. I started doing everything I could to make these changes. I stopped drinking and went onto antibuse (medication that you can't drink on and if you drink you would be severely ill), I moved house to a different town away from everyone and got a job in my new town. In October last year just as things were going well a court case began on my daughters father as he was suspected of causing an unexplained injury to his girlfriends son. To cut things short this March he was found guilty. When the court case began last september I said I wanted my daughter to be placed with my parents while the court case went on. The judge agreed and she was placed with them temporarily. In March at the final hearing the judge decided on an SGO to my parents as he said I hadn't had enough time to prove I had been stable (I'd been stable for 7 months at this point). I had unsupervised contact with my daughter all through the court case and 2 weeks after the court case I started having overnights. I have her overnight once a fortnight and the other week I have her unsupervised for 5 hours. I have always said I want to go back to try revoke the order I'm just looking for some advice.
I've been alcohol free for a year now
I've completed CBT
I've completed relapse prevention
I've been on an IVA for 3 months now for my debts (so I no longer have debts as I am in the IVA which lasts 4 years)
I've nearly completed work with foundation (for domestic violence)
I start a degree in psychology in october as I want to train to be an alcohol and drug worker to help people in similar situations to myself.
I've been with my partner for just over 2 years and we have lived together for 5 months now.
I am still in full time employment and so is my partner.
I had low confidence due to not losing my baby weight. Now I am fit and healthy and back to a normal weight.
I am currently doing my pass plus so I can get a car to be able to hopefully see my daughter more.
I never got on very well with my parents. During the court case they said they wanted my daughter back with me but if in the case she couldn't THEN they would want an SGO. A week before the final court date they decided they didn't want her with me anymore and wanted the SGO so they basically turned their back on me. They will not agree to getting the SGO revoked so I know it will be a LOT harder. I just want my daughter home with me as I have changed my life completely. I am hoping to come off my medication next month to be able to prove I will not go back to drink whilst I'm not on medication. I was just wanting some advice please on how long is best to wait. If I can get any help? and if there is anything else I should do etc...
Thank you
**** edited by Suzie to protect confidentiality.
I've been alcohol free for a year now
I've completed CBT
I've completed relapse prevention
I've been on an IVA for 3 months now for my debts (so I no longer have debts as I am in the IVA which lasts 4 years)
I've nearly completed work with foundation (for domestic violence)
I start a degree in psychology in october as I want to train to be an alcohol and drug worker to help people in similar situations to myself.
I've been with my partner for just over 2 years and we have lived together for 5 months now.
I am still in full time employment and so is my partner.
I had low confidence due to not losing my baby weight. Now I am fit and healthy and back to a normal weight.
I am currently doing my pass plus so I can get a car to be able to hopefully see my daughter more.
I never got on very well with my parents. During the court case they said they wanted my daughter back with me but if in the case she couldn't THEN they would want an SGO. A week before the final court date they decided they didn't want her with me anymore and wanted the SGO so they basically turned their back on me. They will not agree to getting the SGO revoked so I know it will be a LOT harder. I just want my daughter home with me as I have changed my life completely. I am hoping to come off my medication next month to be able to prove I will not go back to drink whilst I'm not on medication. I was just wanting some advice please on how long is best to wait. If I can get any help? and if there is anything else I should do etc...
Thank you
**** edited by Suzie to protect confidentiality.