Please help me, any advice welcome no negative comments please
Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2018 11:58 am
Hello please give me any advice, please don't judge me either.
In 2011 I gave birth to my daughter, I split with her father shortly after. I met someone new when my daughter was 8 months old, when she was 11months old she woke up one morning with an unusual mark on her face, I took her to the doctors who said it may be leukaemia, then went to the hospital to get her checked out, at the hospital I felt very judged and my then boyfriend wasn't very supportive and didn't want to be at the hospital but I was not driving at the time and so he had to take us. Over an hour waiting at the hospital and no nurses had even took her temp, my boyfriend at the time kept saying that he could hear the nurses saying that iv dome something to her so I spoke to one of the nurses and complained that I had been waiting, then a nurse came in and asked if I had put any unnecessary pressure on her face, I felt so judged knowing that I had no idea why she had a mark on her face..BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER I angrily left the hospital and took my daughter with me, I know this made me look like I had something to hide, I felt judged at the time and was selfish as I put my emotions before my daughter. I called my mother who then took my daughter back to the hospital as I knew she needed to be there but I didn't want to get in another argument with any nurses as I was heartbroken that someone would actually think I could hurt my baby. A few hours later I was arrested, I was so in shock I could not believe it, I had put my daughter to bed the night before and she had been fine and the next day she had a mark on her face which then turned out to look like a hand print after a couple of days. When I was released they told me my boyfriend had been arrested also and I was in shock as I always thought if someone had hurt my baby surely I would have known about it. He told me that he would never touch her and I believed him, the next few days they were doing tests and they came back that the injuries were non accidental, I told him this and said that they will find out what happened to her and who did it and he swore on his sons life he did not touch her. Whole this was happening my daughter had been placed with my mum, my mum told me that something was going to be done on my daughters face to try and see if it was a male or female hand, I told my boyfriend this and said that they will find out exactly what happened, that night I had a suicide text sent to me and he threw himself under a train... no explanation of why no confession or anything. I knew when the tests came back non accidental that he had done something and I told him I thought he had done something to my daughter and he denied it every time and swore on his sons life, but why take your own life if you already have a son of your own and didn't do anything wrong?? Long story short.... he survived the train, we went to court he claimed to have lots of brain damage and didn't answer many questions, he also lost 2 legs and the outcome of the hearing was that we would both remain in the pool of perpetrators as neither of us could explain the injuries. throughout the whole court case myself and my family were all reassured that my daughter would be returned to me and at the last minute we were told she would be given to her father, I was devastated and took an overdose. My daughter now lives with her dad and I see her every other weekend unsupervised, I had to take my daughters dad to court last year as he stopped contact so it started off supervised in a centre (even though the social workers recommendation was there was no need for supervision) the last few months we have arranged contact unsupervised just between ourselves. In court in march my daughters dad wanted a prohibited steps order so that I cant have my current partner (of nearly 4 years) around my daughter, I consented to this as I didn't have a problem with it at the time as I like to spend time with my daughter by myself. The reason for him wanting this order was that me and my partner had 2 domestic incidents, in march 2016 and may 2016, circumstances were very different back then as my contact was stopped by my ex and at that time I hadn't seen her for 6 months and also my partners dad died in January 2016 and he wasn't working at the time. There ws no violence at all, the first time we had an argument because my old neighbour had sent me some flirty messages and I told my partner and he wasn't very happy, he took my house key off my keys and disappeared out of the shop and when I came out he was nowhere to be seen so I called the police as he took my key. Very silly wish I just gave him 5 mins to walk off and calm down. The second time we were arguing in may, 3 days before the incident I had a miscarriage which was very upsetting and my emotions were all over the place and 2 days before the incident I was due to see my daughter at the contact centre for the first time in 6 months he never turned up and when I don't have contact with my daughter it makes e very upset. ANYWAY... we were trying to get his nephews quadbike out of his van and into my car, it was a small van and we were struggling to get it out and we started bickering, I then started crying and my hormones and emotions where everywhere and was going to drive home, my partner didn't want me driving off so upset by myself and he took my keys off me, he is very tall and held them high I was trying to get them back and jumping up to reach and he threw them (into someone's garden by accident). A dog walker saw us arguing and was asking if I was ok and I said yes, I was embarrassed as I was crying told him to mind his own business. He said he was an ex police office and was calling the police. He called the police and said that we were hitting each other but we were not, I can understand how it may have looked when a female is crying people always blame the male but there really was no violence. My partner went into the garden to get my keys and we left in my car (we were fine) as we drove round the corner the police arrived and I went back as we left something in the van, they asked what had happened and I told them and they didn't do anything else but said they were going to call social services and I had a child (even though she doesn't live with me) they spoke to my partner and took his details and that was it. I am now pregnant, have just found out and I'm absolutely terrified, my partner is over the moon and desperate to tell his family who will be thrilled but I am thinking about having a termination and I'm so worried they will take my baby from me and I couldn't mentally go through that again or have that happen to my partner I know what it feels like and I could never put anyone else through that. There was no violence and by the time my baby is due July 2018, it would have been 2 years since any police involvement bit I'm worried they will take my baby away because of what happened to my daughter and that they might think we are domestic violent because of those 2 calls. my circumstances have changed, I now have contact with my daughter so I don't get low anymore, my partner training to be an electrician now and has been doing it for a year an a half, were very stable we don't drink or do drugs. PLEASE HELP ME I AM TERRIFIED.
In 2011 I gave birth to my daughter, I split with her father shortly after. I met someone new when my daughter was 8 months old, when she was 11months old she woke up one morning with an unusual mark on her face, I took her to the doctors who said it may be leukaemia, then went to the hospital to get her checked out, at the hospital I felt very judged and my then boyfriend wasn't very supportive and didn't want to be at the hospital but I was not driving at the time and so he had to take us. Over an hour waiting at the hospital and no nurses had even took her temp, my boyfriend at the time kept saying that he could hear the nurses saying that iv dome something to her so I spoke to one of the nurses and complained that I had been waiting, then a nurse came in and asked if I had put any unnecessary pressure on her face, I felt so judged knowing that I had no idea why she had a mark on her face..BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER I angrily left the hospital and took my daughter with me, I know this made me look like I had something to hide, I felt judged at the time and was selfish as I put my emotions before my daughter. I called my mother who then took my daughter back to the hospital as I knew she needed to be there but I didn't want to get in another argument with any nurses as I was heartbroken that someone would actually think I could hurt my baby. A few hours later I was arrested, I was so in shock I could not believe it, I had put my daughter to bed the night before and she had been fine and the next day she had a mark on her face which then turned out to look like a hand print after a couple of days. When I was released they told me my boyfriend had been arrested also and I was in shock as I always thought if someone had hurt my baby surely I would have known about it. He told me that he would never touch her and I believed him, the next few days they were doing tests and they came back that the injuries were non accidental, I told him this and said that they will find out what happened to her and who did it and he swore on his sons life he did not touch her. Whole this was happening my daughter had been placed with my mum, my mum told me that something was going to be done on my daughters face to try and see if it was a male or female hand, I told my boyfriend this and said that they will find out exactly what happened, that night I had a suicide text sent to me and he threw himself under a train... no explanation of why no confession or anything. I knew when the tests came back non accidental that he had done something and I told him I thought he had done something to my daughter and he denied it every time and swore on his sons life, but why take your own life if you already have a son of your own and didn't do anything wrong?? Long story short.... he survived the train, we went to court he claimed to have lots of brain damage and didn't answer many questions, he also lost 2 legs and the outcome of the hearing was that we would both remain in the pool of perpetrators as neither of us could explain the injuries. throughout the whole court case myself and my family were all reassured that my daughter would be returned to me and at the last minute we were told she would be given to her father, I was devastated and took an overdose. My daughter now lives with her dad and I see her every other weekend unsupervised, I had to take my daughters dad to court last year as he stopped contact so it started off supervised in a centre (even though the social workers recommendation was there was no need for supervision) the last few months we have arranged contact unsupervised just between ourselves. In court in march my daughters dad wanted a prohibited steps order so that I cant have my current partner (of nearly 4 years) around my daughter, I consented to this as I didn't have a problem with it at the time as I like to spend time with my daughter by myself. The reason for him wanting this order was that me and my partner had 2 domestic incidents, in march 2016 and may 2016, circumstances were very different back then as my contact was stopped by my ex and at that time I hadn't seen her for 6 months and also my partners dad died in January 2016 and he wasn't working at the time. There ws no violence at all, the first time we had an argument because my old neighbour had sent me some flirty messages and I told my partner and he wasn't very happy, he took my house key off my keys and disappeared out of the shop and when I came out he was nowhere to be seen so I called the police as he took my key. Very silly wish I just gave him 5 mins to walk off and calm down. The second time we were arguing in may, 3 days before the incident I had a miscarriage which was very upsetting and my emotions were all over the place and 2 days before the incident I was due to see my daughter at the contact centre for the first time in 6 months he never turned up and when I don't have contact with my daughter it makes e very upset. ANYWAY... we were trying to get his nephews quadbike out of his van and into my car, it was a small van and we were struggling to get it out and we started bickering, I then started crying and my hormones and emotions where everywhere and was going to drive home, my partner didn't want me driving off so upset by myself and he took my keys off me, he is very tall and held them high I was trying to get them back and jumping up to reach and he threw them (into someone's garden by accident). A dog walker saw us arguing and was asking if I was ok and I said yes, I was embarrassed as I was crying told him to mind his own business. He said he was an ex police office and was calling the police. He called the police and said that we were hitting each other but we were not, I can understand how it may have looked when a female is crying people always blame the male but there really was no violence. My partner went into the garden to get my keys and we left in my car (we were fine) as we drove round the corner the police arrived and I went back as we left something in the van, they asked what had happened and I told them and they didn't do anything else but said they were going to call social services and I had a child (even though she doesn't live with me) they spoke to my partner and took his details and that was it. I am now pregnant, have just found out and I'm absolutely terrified, my partner is over the moon and desperate to tell his family who will be thrilled but I am thinking about having a termination and I'm so worried they will take my baby from me and I couldn't mentally go through that again or have that happen to my partner I know what it feels like and I could never put anyone else through that. There was no violence and by the time my baby is due July 2018, it would have been 2 years since any police involvement bit I'm worried they will take my baby away because of what happened to my daughter and that they might think we are domestic violent because of those 2 calls. my circumstances have changed, I now have contact with my daughter so I don't get low anymore, my partner training to be an electrician now and has been doing it for a year an a half, were very stable we don't drink or do drugs. PLEASE HELP ME I AM TERRIFIED.