Please help my babies and me. So ultimately wrong that it's actually evil.

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Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2017 9:50 pm

Please help my babies and me. So ultimately wrong that it's actually evil.

Post by Thisiskillingme » Mon Nov 06, 2017 2:44 am

I don't know how to start writing this. I pray that I can finally get the advice I need. I am 31yrs old. I have 3 children. My eldest son will b 14 in 3 wks, he us adopted a decision that was made for me not by me. And my lil boy is 10 and my lil girl is 9. They are in care . This post is about them. My babies now 4 n a half years ago were taken from me. Thursday 16th May 2013 I took them to school that day and they just didn't come back. Why?
I went to pick them up from school that day. I was asked to come to the reception as that's where my babies were and so was ss. I don't know why. They sed they were going to take them to be stripped and checked for abuse! This was to do with a bruise on my son's head as he had bumped his head at the weekend prior. So on the Monday I logged it in the accident book which is what parents have to do when they take kids to school and they've got any bruise or injury apparently.
No one had said anything to me about anything all week so why is it in the Thursday they decide to take my kids then lie telling me theyre on their way back when I ring them asking where they were as it was getting late. They didn't let me go with them to this place where they checked my kids. Then a sw showed up at my door demanding me to sign a voluntary care act so when I want them back I can but if I don't sign their putting them in pp.
I asked the next day and kept asking for them to return them as legally they had to but they wouldn't. Then in December they got a care order.
My contact went from weekly to every 3 months theyre split up as I said they did this behind my back. They have breached the order as the judge said never move them again and do not take then out the county. This was because my babies had been shifted about over ten times found out
At court. Now it's been over 20 times and they put my son in Essex in a boarding school. They don't invite me to any meetings. And they won't put my children in a placement together. And they won't return them to me they've told my babies when theyre 18 they don't give me any help at all no plans ever been made to work toward them being returned never had a family meeting I have no contact from the ss at all I don't have a clue what us going on with my babies I just found out from my kids that they are seeing my mum and family since when I don't know. My son's had a black eye and is being neglected still.
It took a long time but I finally realise it was the school who did this. They destroyed me because I dare to sue them for my baby girl's accident she had at their pre-school that nearly killed her. Exactly a month before they were taken from school was when my daughter had her accident. So 16/5/13 must of been the day my daughter's solicitor must of contacted them about the me suing them for an accident so bad that they were made to change the entire playground because of it. My daughter had to have her get glued back on and then also have in total 13 stitches front and back of her ear. My poor baby was in so much pain.
My son had got ADHD on the high end if the spectrum. I've just found out from my lil boy at the last contact I had. I was asking him how he was and if he was still on medication. Which the last time I knew he was in 3 pills a day he told me he now on 5 a day!!!!
Wtf what when and why. The school tried excluding my son at 5 and only let him go to school 4 2 hours a day coz they couldn't cope they said they had to teach him with 2 teachers to him.
This I why social services where involved. But they were on child protection have been forever they blamed his behaviour on me but I had been saying since he was 2 that he needed to b tested as I felt he had ADHD his dad has it. I begged for support from school and as but they didn't give me any of the right Help they sent fiss in a couple times which wasn't helpful. At all.
It took a long time but I was finally able to get him diagnosed and even enrolled him in a specialist school for children with special educational needs. But i never got a chance to even try with any of these correct measures. My son's medication and diagnosis appointment was on my birthday 20th May. 4 days after they were taken I went with them to his appointment it was at this appointment I also found out my children had been split up. There's just so much more going on not 1 rule is being followed. My babies should not be split up they both want to come home they always have. The ss ain't ever willing to give them back they don't do anything or offer anything to make that happen theyre just doing what they want and my babies are suffering the law and our rights have been totally ignored please help me help my babies they have been treated like animals traumatised beyond belief and this cannot go on no more no one is helping me. I can't b without my babies anymore. I finally found this parent forum please tell me there's something i can do my babies are full siblings and see each other once every 2 months. It's evil what theyre doing. It's more than killing me

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Please help my babies and me. So ultimately wrong that it's actually evil.

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Nov 10, 2017 2:40 pm

Dear Thisiskillingme,

Welcome to the Parents Forum. Thank you for posting.
I am sorry to hear that your children were removed from you. You are very worried about the care they are receiving now.

Your youngest children, your son aged 10, and daughter aged 9, are subject to full care orders. I can see how angry you feel about how they were removed from you. In particular, you say, if your son had received the support he needed, from the start, for his diagnosis of ADHD, then you may have had a better chance of meeting his complex mental health needs. You had just got the diagnosis and found a suitable school and he was removed from you. At the time, even the school could not cope with his difficult behaviour. Did you discuss this with your solicitor at the time? How did the judge deal with it? What was said in the court judgment?

Your main reason for posting is for advice about things that are happening now. You are concerned that your children may not be properly cared for, is that right? You are concerned that children services are not following the correct processes. So, they were split up right at the beginning, when they were removed and remain separated now; that there have been so many changes of placements; no effort has been made to rehabilitate the children home to you and you are not invited to any meetings.

When there is a care order, Children's Services share parental responsibility for the child with the parents. So Children's Services must find out your views, as mum, about any decision they make about your children. However, children services do have the final say and can make plans for your children, even if you don't agree with them.
So I would expect you to have seen a copy of each child’s up to date
care plan (which sets out how your children’s needs (emotional, educational, health etc.) are being met. Do you have these for your children?
This plan is reviewed at the looked after children (LAC) meeting . You should be consulted before the meetings about the care plan. However, if you have any worries about your children at other times, you do not need to wait for the LAC meeting. You can always speak to the social worker or independent reviewing officer, at other times.
You should be invited to LAC reviews, unless there are exceptional reasons why you cannot be.
The LAC review meetings are managed by an independent reviewing officer who will also meet your children.
They have an important role. If they thought your children’s care plan was being mismanaged, they should take it up with senior managers and can speak to the court services CAFCASS about going back to court. Have you raised these issues? You could ask why they were separated? Should they have more contact with each other?

You say that children services have not considered your children returning home. Have you asked them to assess you? As a parent, you could consider applying to court for the care order to be discharged, you do not have to wait for children’s services to make that decision.

For the court to remove the care order (so children services would have no legal parental responsibility) it would have to be satisfied that there had been a change in circumstances since the care order was made and that it is also in the best interests of your children. To decide what is in the best interests, the court will take into account the welfare checklist as a guide.
Do you know why the care order was made in the first place? You should look at the written judgment of the court which will set out why. Have things changed substantially for you since then?
So for example, if the court was worried about your parenting skills, have you completed a parenting course or if they were worried about domestic violence or mental health, have you completed all the treatment or courses needed?
Usually, parents might consider asking to be assessed for more contact, first of all. Here is information about contact when children are subject to a care order.
It is very difficult for me to advise you about this on the board. You could contact your solicitor and also call our advice line for advice.
I hope this information helps but please post again, if you have any questions or need further advice. Or you could call our advice line and speak to one of our advisers on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,

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