Pregnant again after baby going under a care order

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Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2017 4:40 pm

Pregnant again after baby going under a care order

Post by A123 » Tue Sep 26, 2017 1:02 pm

I've got 3 children 2 under an sgo (1 was because no emotional attachment, the other was because of abusive relationship) I had my youngest child in 2016 an she was placed in foster care, Ss asked me to leave my relationship which I did I went into a women's refuge until January this year when I got rehoused, I had a positive assessment for the baby to come home until I got in a car crash with a friend who I didn't know had DV on his record so because of that the baby has just been placed under a court order to a woman who is apparently her cousin. Last month I had to have the police to remove an ex partner who refused to leave (I'm not allowed contact with any males and have to inform Ss of all contact with males) he submitted a statement full of lies to court about me and everyone is believing him. According to Ss I'm not open and honest with them.
Now I've found out I'm pregnant after a one night stand I don't know what SS will do or if they will let me keep the baby, there is no issue with the care I give the children, I continue to provide for all 3 children, its just the people I have associated with previously. I suffer with mental health issues and I engage with my cpn, I have completed mental health group's and I'm in the process of moving due to Ss disclosing my address to an abusive ex partner whos in prison and writing me letters now.
I hope this make sense

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Pregnant again after baby going under a care order

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Oct 02, 2017 4:47 pm

Dear A123

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thanks for posting.

I am sorry to hear that you have had such difficulties including experiencing domestic violence and losing care of your children. I am also sorry to hear that your address was disclosed to an abusive ex-partner by children’s services meaning that you have to move. Although this has sadly already happened in your case Family Rights Group has a FAQ on keeping personal information confidential which might be of use to other parents reading your post.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. However, you are understandably concerned about how children’s services will respond. Many expectant mothers in your situation worry that the baby might be removed, even if their circumstances have changed, and try to avoid contact with professionals until late in the pregnancy. However, this is not a good idea and could actually make things much worse for you.

It is better to let the social worker know about the pregnancy (perhaps with the help of a supportive professional?); this will also show that you are being open and honest now which they previously questioned. A social worker will want to do a pre-birth assessment to assess whether they think you can look after your baby when they are born.

We have a FAQ on what you can do when you are pregnant and have had previous children removed which I hope will be helpful to you.

The important thing is to keep up your engagement with current or new professionals and services – your CPN, any further mental health groups, your midwife, the social worker etc. – and you can also contact a solicitor (perhaps the solicitor who represented you previously if you feel that they worked well with you). Also think about whether the baby’s father or your extended families could support you or offer care to the baby if needed.

Is there any work that children’s services have already recommended that you do in relation to your current children? It is important that you try to address any issues that have already been identified and be proactive in asking what else you can do to demonstrate that you would be able to care for this baby when they are born.

Have a look at our specialist domestic violence advice and leaflet.

Try to work with a specialist domestic violence service as it seems to have been a concern about potential recurring domestic violence which prevented your youngest child being returned to your care. I am not clear about the wording or implications of the restrictions on you having no contact/reporting contact with males although I am guessing this is to do with risk of domestic violence from them? Support or advocacy from a specialist domestic violence service could be very useful here to help you make safe choices and to ensure that the professional network has an informed understanding of the complex dynamics of domestic violence.

You can find out more about family support, child protection and care proceedings here.

I hope this is helpful to you. It must be a very challenging time for you, adjusting to the loss of your children and coping with a new pregnancy whilst not knowing whether you will be able to care for the baby successfully.

Concentrate on keeping yourself and your unborn baby safe and well, cooperate with those involved with you and your children to try to overcome any concerns or difficulties, access independent advice (including legal advice) and advocacy and explore family support.

You can post back if you have further queries and if you would like to speak to an adviser you can contact the Freephone advice line on 0808 8010366 Mon-Fri 9.30 – 3.00.

Best wishes


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