Access to own children if on register

[gizmoxx]

Hi gizmo. This is all just routine for someone who is on the sex offenders list. It does not mean they can take your child away with out good reason to do so. They will come around and do a risk assessment but if he has access to his other child being supervised then as long as your around then I can't see a problem with it. I personally am having to go through a lot worse atm. But that's my fault and a whole other story. It's all about managing his risk to the child or children involved. Hopefully he's done all CPS have asked and anything else like Horizon ect they put you through. It's all going to be very hard and stressful. But please seek advise from a family lawyer as well. You both have a right to a normal family life. We all make mistakes it's just about moving on. I hope this may easy your mind a bit. But be sure to note anything you believe social say that could be wrong or against the law as they use a lot of scare tactics that they are not allowed to do. Rather than the truth iv found they go to the extreme worst case and that's what's really scarry. Take care.

Hello.
I don’t know if im replying correctly. I spoke to family lawyers and two different firms told me to not be in a relationship with my child’s father they advised me not to. I honestly don’t know what to do I’m so confused

[Kitty 33]

Hi there my partner is on the register he is classed as low risk and he as had assessment done whit the psychologist who all so classed him as low risk and the social works are still saying he is a risk to our children we have all so done a pams assessment whit our daughter and got to do another one naw whit our son but they are still saying he is a risk he as so got to do a cbt but our contact is only is contact center we are allowed to take them out of the center to park and play groups tho hopefully we can get them home on 25th of November

[gizmoxx]

Hello what is the outcome???? I hope you are all ok

[Nothinghelps]

Hi giz. I haven't heard from kitty in a few months now it didn't seem hopeful tho the last time we did speak. It's a horrible situation and social don't look at the true situation they just see a sex offender even if you do all the courses they want ect. Unfortunately they are a power above the police it seems and they don't really want what's best for the child and family. You do one thing wrong and are not given a chance to show you love and are able to care for your children. I hope all's well for you.

[Skysie98]

Hi Nothing helps

I wanted to let you know.
Me and my partner are i court for our baby girl shes 6 months old in foster care.

Up until this week we had no hope.

We have a new social worker who wants to try and get my little girl back with me! And for us to be a family in a safe way.

My partner has 3 years left on the register. Hes low risk.

The new social worker is actually not as concerned about the sexual risk with us now shes moee concerned abour DV as my partner cant do a course but has done a lot of work around his agression etc.


The main thing is to keep doing everything you can .

We have been fighting 6 months we have done therapy, courses etc. We do currently live separately.

Its hard and painful. But never give up.

We still may not get our little girl back but with the new social worker things are looking more postive shes wanting to explore returning her to me.

6 months ago we were seen as minimising, lack of insight etc. Now the new social worker says we have a good understanding and insight that we understand the risks and she wants to give us a chance.
If she is returned to me with this new social worker i am hopeful at somepoint we will be a family under the same roof again.

[Nothinghelps]

Hi skysie. You are very lucky every social worker or cafcass worker I have come across have not been able to do thier job correctly in any way and seem to wish to harm my children more than see the benefits of them having thier dad in thier lives. So many lies from them and one sided views not telling the truth about situations come very easy for them from what I am experiencing. They can get away with calling me a monster but as I can't prove it Thiers nothing thier seniors or the law will do about it. All I can say is iv been mentally abused by them and iv not meet one who is trained In autism awareness as well. They will look more kindly on your situation as your not living with your partner so as long as you can prove you can keep the child safe and cared for you stand a chance. Unfortunately for me I'm seeing the bad side of everyone involved and nobody listens or thinks maybe just maybe this guy's telling the truth for 1 second. I wish you all the luck in the world. I know how hard it is to be away from your children. I hope you get yours back.

[Skysie98]

I understand.
Honestly the old social workers were cruel and hurtful.
They made comments and said thingsneither of us should have dealt with.

The new social worker is compassionate and kind.
She never takes a baby unless its really really dangerous.
She agreed my parnter is low risk and that we are doing everything we can.
Its been 7 years since his 1st offence.
He reoffended due to no proffessional support to help him 4 years ago.

Since our little girl was taken we have done so much!
We both been in therapy, relationship counselling, safeguarding therapy, freedom programme, inform course.

Unfortunately i think it comes down to the area and what social worker you get
In the last 15 months shes the first one to understand and actually accept that hes low risk to our little girl and that we need to be given a chance.

Unfortunately now its in court its not just down to her
Had we had her before our daughter was born she may still be with us now.

We hoping to get back to court in the next 2 weeks to ask for updated parenting assessment.

People make mistakes and they need to see that.
My partners life has been destroyed so much.
He lost his little girl 4 years ago to adoption and has lost out on so many milestones of his other kids.

They have destroyed me but i keep going and will keep trying to be a family for our little girl.

I pray that one day someone will acknowledge your progress and give you the chance you deserve

[Nothinghelps]

Yes court is hard. I'm in the process of it. You may have been lucky and found one that actually truly cares about a child and Thier family after all we have the legal right to a normal family life even if something does happen. After all prison isn't the nicest of places. But they do not care about the person in thier in the slightest. Maybe you get a few compassionate people but it's rare. I really do hope your lucky enough to get yours back in your life. I haven't spoken to mine in nearly 2 years now. Was told before going in writing could be harmful and that's all they gave me inside and they wonder why I wouldn't do something that had been deemed harmful but it's ok for the cafcass officer to call me a monster for not doing something that the people involved couldn't give me a reason to why it was no longer harmful for. Just acted like it was a joke to me. It's hard to explain and I'm not very good at doing so. With my autism anything that becomes harmful my mind will just go blank and I can't explain anything and they just all see it as me being difficult or rude but when they just keep going on about something for 30 mins and you tell them you can't answer they see it as a joke. It's mentally abusive but they don't care what they do to a adult they see as a criminal they can get away with it. Any way thank you for the replies and I wish you all the best. I hope you get to become a family again. I know I never stand that chance they have turned a relationship that was fine into domestic abuse that it never was from me any way. Sorry to unload I'm not feeling great about all of this.

[Skysie98]

Do not apologise!

I honestly feel for you more than anything.
I reckon socail workers like the one we have now are so rare.
She was so angry about the treatment recieved from old social workers!
I am vunerable i went through **** as a child and they used this against me to say i cant keep her safe from him.
She does not accept this and does not understand the descion to take her. We had lived apart 4 weeks by the time she was born.
We split up for 8 weeks because of them and it broke us.
We were supposed to with our little girl and gettinf married next month and they destroyed it all.
The new social worker doesnt understand why they pushed me in that direction to leave him. As i had asked him to move out.
The last incident domestically was in 2021 yet they still took her
They destroyed everything and i break a lot.
Our little girl luckily is young and may never remember if she comes home.
His autism is the same he struggles with the social workers and we both shut down on the old ones but this new one is so different.

My main concern now is Caffcass due to the domestic she told me she would never trust him around our daughter but hes done so much and changed so much and am hoping she can see this.
It hurts me too thjnk that had we had this social worker before i would never have been without my little girl.
As much as i want to wish this is good and she will be returned i know its not just in the social workers hands..
Both of our solicitors say we have a good chance with everything that we have done and continue to do.
But honestly never apologise!!!
Its a crap thing for anyone to go through and i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy
I am sorry you havent spoken to your kids in so long .
I see the damage it does to his other kids (11,10,9) and how much they beg to see their dad more often.
I cry when he does see them because i see the most amazing dad.
He is the funniset most patient, loving dad and it hurts me to see him not being given that chance.
His kids hurt.
He hurts
I hurt
Yet they think its the best but clearly it isnt.

[Nothinghelps]

I understand completely where your coming from. I'm being accused of some very horrible things from cafcass. And these will stop me seeing them as they are trying to make out I'm grooming them to become sex offenders. They really think I want them to go through what I'm going through. I don't have any bond with my daughter she was 6 months when I went away and I don't know what kinda bond I will have with my son. They stopped us talking and doing the things that he could understand. Then they feel it's right to tell him how I'm feeling without even speaking with me to know how I'm feeling and in my views they have mentally abused him showing him what prison I was in ect. I can see why some people do reoffend tho it's easier inside you don't get looked on like your a piece of **** except by the officers. But I do have to say the training people from people plus were really good and did give me a chance to prove I just wanted to move on. But as a lot of people said they are doing anything they can to get you back inside atm. The help out here is all talk not a lot of action. I hope your other half is having better luck with them than I am. They let me out homeless and refused to find me a place I could feel safe in they just said this place is save and that's all your getting. Iv been very lucky I had 1 family member who took me in. But in the time iv been out they still haven't done much to help. They just keep finding faults. I hope your other half doesn't have too long left on the register. I have just over 8 years until I can get back to what I'd call a normal life that's if they don't screw me over as they are trying to I'm sure of it.