Review Conference

[LMBSE1971]

So the first review conference is coming up and the SW has made it clear that she is NOT going to allow them to be deregistered, I have now been separated for nearly a year and have done everything that they have asked of me, but she claims that I have to show I can sustain the separation.

She is giving me a copy of the report on Friday, I know it will be full of horrible things no doubt in order to sway the conference in continuing the keep the children on the CPR.

What grounds do they have for doing this? I have done all I need to do.,

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear LMBSE1971,

Thank you for post. I am sorry for not posting back earlier. I imagine the review conference has already taken place. If it is still to happen, have a look at our information about child protection review conferences .
Essentially, the conference will be similar to the initial conference but it will examine whether or not the child protection plan has been completed and whether more support is needed.

You say you have done everything that is needed yet the social worker is asking for a further plan.
Hopefully her report will give the details you need and explain the rationale behind the decision to ask for a further child protection plan.

Like the initial conference, the chair will be looking to see whether there is still evidence to suspect that your children are suffering significant harm or are at an ongoing risk of suffering significant harm.

If you need further advice, please post again or call our confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[LMBSE1971]

Thanks Suzie, the report simply stated that they felt a "further period of registration would be beneficial" to allow sustained change and ensure that I did not reunite with my husband and completed my work on freedom programme etc. There is no real evidence of continued risk, I have done all they have asked, they were scrabbling around for reasons, for example, Childrens Services ensured I was dismissed from my professional job working with families and children and they stated that the stress and worry I was dealing with because of this could impact on my children!!!! This was the result of THEIR actions! This was listed under "risks"!!!

The SW voted for continued registration along with my children's two headteachers who I felt just went along with the local authority for fear of getting into "trouble" or being seen as going against CS. Only my DV support worker voted against and stated that all her risk assessments on my ex husband were low-medium

I feel this process is wrong and very corrupt, The IRO said that she was happy to call another conference in 4 months instead of 6 months, for some reason the SW wont let us go and is determined to keep my children on the register even though there is no evidence of need, and I am very afraid.

Making a complaint will no doubt result in further escalation (the initial CPP was called after I made a complaint originallly)

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear LMBSE1971,

It is not uncommon that at the first CP review a child protection plan continues when domestic violence has been is a concern. This is because the timescale is only up to 12 weeks and it is often not enough time for children services to assess how well the courses you have completed have worked.

Also, as domestic violence often impacts on a survivors in many different ways, it can take time for someone to recover enough that they don’t just slip back into being dependent on the abuser again. So time is needed to assess that the changes will maintained. 12 weeks is not enough.

If dad is not engaging with any support offered, then children services will have to assume his risk to you and the children remain at the same high level. So unfortunately, this means there is even more pressure is put on you to show you can resist-over time-being re-groomed again by him or someone else.

The other issue, you had mentioned was your anxiety which was linked to everything that had been happening including you being dismissed from your job. As a parent’s mental health can sometimes impact on their parenting, and is is something that can also take a while to treat, I imagine time is needed so that the improvement in your health evidenced.

The key now is to keep engaging (as you have being doing so well) with the social worker and your domestic violence worker. Here are our
FAQ’s about domestic violence and children services .

If you need further advice or have further questions, please post again.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[LMBSE1971]

Thanks Suzie, I need to find another job as I cannot manage on benefits (house, car etc to pay for and no savings, plus exH is using the situation to manipulate me by alternately spoiling the children with expensive presents and threatening to cut off support) but this has destroyed my confidence and also my work record and my chance of getting back into work, I dont even know where to start, I was fortunate in my previous job in that it fitted around childcare responsibilities, I have noone to help with childcare (admittedly my children are 9 and nearly 13. so not toddlers and can take advantage of after school club etc), we are also likely to lose our house which I'm not too bothered about as I want to move as very unhappy here. But their continued involvement make this difficult due to being available for meetings/attending courses like freedom programme etc. I am realy struggling to cope on benefits and also it is making me feel utterly worthless and very very depressed, they have done so much damage to us as a family and yet they have no understanding or awareness, the SW even pointed out that she "isnt used to working with parents who have jobs" and seemed to feel very threatened by this at first, she now actively talks down to me ie "well you've *got your benefits* havent you?! " it makes me feel so demeaned and angry that its difficult to work with them.

My ex was more coercive control than violence, he has a full time job and doesnt drink, or take drugs etc but he was very controlling and manipulative.

[LMBSE1971]

they cant see to see or own that their actions are causing me just as much misery and damage to my emotional health as anything that my ex did.