Will they remove him?

[heartbroken80]

Hi,

I'm writing this as I'm terrified. In 2017 my son was removed from my care under an interim care order. He was in Foster care for a year, he was only 2 1/2 at the time.
He returned home and everything went really well, he was still attending his nursery.
In September 2018 he started a school nursery. All of a sudden my sons behaviour started to decline, he was only at nursery at first for an hour and a half a day, due to agressive behaviours this was then reduced to an hour which was ridiculous.
Because of this, I had no time in order to attend appointments that were recommended for me, however, children's services knew that at that time I had no support having just fallen out with my sister.
His behaviour then started after New Year 2019 to be agressive at home. I was finding it very hard to control this.
In the end, following the advice from the social worker. I changed his nursery.
Although there are still incidents at nursery, they are less than at his previous nursery.

After my son was returned home he was under a supervision order.

My sons behaviour started to improve a lot at home, however, there are still incidents at his school nursery.

I was getting positive feedback from the social worker and family support worker, however, all of a sudden one day I was issued with a pre proceedings letter.
After 3 weeks of worry, I was then informed that this was an 'error' and that it was simply the wrong format.
I was not happy as this had caused so much stress.

The social worker then informed me that they were either looking at a supervision order or a care order.
I was so confused as was being told that there had been progress.

In the end they decided on an interim supervision order and adjourned the decision to ask for removal.

Apparantly the judge asked the social worker asked why don't we just remove the child now and the social worker said that there had been progress and that it would be cruel to do that to my son.

I had a psychological assessment the other day that went well. The psychologist noted that virtually none of the recommendations had been followed and they had stated that my son needed reparative care, however, he said that he didn't get how they thought I could provide this if I hadn't been informed on how to do this.

My son undergoes a psychological assessment on the 4th of September.

I am confused as to why this is an interim supervision order. The previous supervision order ran out on the 10ty of July, however, they couldn't renew it as I had been admitted to hospital with pneumonia and septic shock.

There was around 3 weeks where my son was home under no order at all.
My lawyer said that this goes to show that it can't be that serious as they could have got an order if they really thought my son was at risk and also they wouldn't have left him home without an order if they really believed he was at risk.

As the social worker told the judge there has been improve to, do you think that they are just doing an interim supervision order before they apply to maybe ask for a longer one?

I am terrified that they have only asked for a 3 month one as they plan on removing him. Surely though the fact that they didn't follow recommendations would go against them as if they had then alot more progress would have been noted.

They mentioned in their threshold document that my sons behaviour at nursery had been one of the reasons, however, the social worker told me that this is something out of my control, therefore why did they decide to use this as one of the reasons in their threshold document?

Please help me, I couldn't bare my son being removed again, this would finish me off.

[heartbroken80]

Please can someone reply

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Heartbroken80

Thank you for your post and sorry for not being able to reply to you before now. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you and your son have been having and that you are now back in court. You have worked very hard over the last couple of years to have your son returned to your care and to care for him at home, don’t lose sight of this and keep up the same commitment that you have shown all along.

From what you say, I think there has been progress; the social worker has acknowledged this but there are also serious concerns about your son’s behaviour, perhaps the reasons for this and how he can be best helped. I am sure you are just as worried about how/why your son is behaving aggressively as the professionals and you also want to find a way of helping him more. It is a shame that you were not able to attend all the appointments recommended due to the lack of family support you had and the short respite you had whilst your son was in nursery. As there was a supervision order in place at the time (until July 2019) this could have been thought about as part of the support plan which should have been in place and regularly reviewed.

You are now in a situation where there is an interim supervision order in place for your son, you have a solicitor representing you and you and your son have both had psychological assessments . It is good to hear that yours went well but there seems to be an identified need for your son to have reparative care with which you would need help if your son is to have this support in your care. It seems really important to know more about what is envisaged by this reparative care and how/where/when and for how long it should be provided.

It will be very important to go through both yours and your son’s psychological assessment reports very carefully with your solicitor so that you can respond to any concerns raise, try to put in place any support that is recommended and try to clarify what is being recommended as best for your little boy. Your solicitor is best placed to advise you on the court process, the information that children’s services have put in the threshold document and what to expect. Your solicitor, who was in court, has already shared their view about why children’s services did not seek an interim care order but instead went for an interim supervision order. Here are some tips on working with your solicitor which might help you get the best out of this.

You might want to talk things through in general with Young Minds Parents Helpline as they may be able to answer some of the questions you might have about your son’s behaviour, his emotional needs, what you as a parent can do and how CAMHS and other specialist services work.

It is really important that you continue to work with children’s services, your son’s nursery and any other agencies who are involved, as you have done. Make sure that you know exactly what the expectations are of you in the current situation, what services and support are to be provided to you now whilst the interim supervision order is in place and keep your own notes and diary of appointments, visits, decisions etc. Ask specific questions about what else they would like you to do.

Can your own family/friends support network (which I know has been difficult) be strengthened in some way, perhaps through a family group conference ?

I hope this helps. You are very welcome to post again with a new query or to ring the Freephone advice helpline on 0808 801 0366 Mon- Fri 9.30 – 3.00 pm to speak to an adviser if you would prefer.

With best wishes

Suzie