Advice Please, Residency order discharge.

[proudmummy1992]

Hi All my children are currently under a residency order with grandparents for 3 years due to a domestic violence occurrence that happened 3 and a half years ago, since i lost them i just buried myself in to work and worked basically to take them out wherever they wanted to go and for money for when they need school clothes etc, i had a meeting at the school because my daughter has been in a bad way at school shes only 10 years old and she cried to the teachers about whats going on in her current home, right the meeting consisted of me and residency parent, he told me to go back to apply to court to discharge the order for the kids and whatever happens, he will not protest it because he knows that i miss them and love them so much and they need me especially my daughter. How would this work if hes already agreed that hes not going to fight for the kids because they need me, do i have to go through mediation. Any help or advice would be appreciated.

[proudmummy1992]

Any Advice Anyone?? Anyone been through this..

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear proudmummy1992,

Welcome to the Parent’s Forum.

I am sorry to hear about the domestic violence you suffered and that your children went to live with their grandparents who currently have residence orders.(Now known as child arrangements orders).
You ask about applying back to court for your children to be returned to you. Private law proceedings are not within our remit. You may be able to make an urgent application to court given the grandparent is saying they will not fight your application.

I suggest you contact Rights of Women or the Child Law Advice line or a solicitor who specialises in children (private law) applications as soon as you can.

Given domestic violence was the reason why they were removed from you in the first place, you may qualify for legal aid, if dad was the perpetrator of the violence, as he will be notified of the court proceedings.

It must be very worrying for you to hear what your daughter was saying. What are the school doing about the information that your daughter disclosed in the meeting? Have they made a referral to children services? If so, children services may carry out an assessment of the circumstances.
Here is information about assessments.

If you have any questions please post again.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[proudmummy1992]

Hey its been a very long time and had quite alot going on with my children. I spoke to NSPCC twice in regards to what my daughter told me, then since then my youngest children was coming to me crying everyweek that their grandparents had done something to hurt them and they was distressed, i was really hurt by it but did not show them that i was hurt i just told them it was wrong, i encourage my 9 year old daughter to tell the school whats been happening at home, because once the referral was made by myself and NSPCC the social worker phoned the school asked if anything has been disclosed and then proceeded to tell me that the case is closed she did not even go and talk to my children. My 9 year old daughter at the time told me she was scared she sat at my moms table at contact and told me she had a NSPCC assembly and that she thinks shes being emotionally abused and physically abused. Social services got involved again and they escalated it to child protection because of what the children told them. I went to the child protection meeting i had a meeting with the chair with mom before grandad got there to avoid any type of conflict. I explained the situation even my own mom cried and told the chair that shes upset that my children shouldnt be treated this way. Later on that day i got a call from social services saying "the case is not going to child protection because what my daughter had been saying was adult talk! My daughter confided in all these professionals to be let down she tried to be the backbone for all the children because my now 11 year old was too scared to speak up about anything because last time she told me the truth about bad thinga going on at home grandad took her phone off her so she could not tell me anything bad that was happening. I was made out to be a liar he sugar coated every single professional with lies. I would never put words in to my own childrens mouth about anything bad so 3 weeks passed and a cin meeting was due and grandad was having a meeting with the social worker and a woman that deals with chastisement on children to explain to grandad the risks. The other woman was asian (so is grandad) the women accompanied by the social worker asked the grandparents if they have been hitting the children and guess what , HE ADMITTED it. This is the person that was mocking me in meetings laughing to himself when i would tell professionals what the children was saying had happened to them.
NSo i got a phone call of SS saying if you want to take your children then do so you are safe guarding them so i have done, they have been with me roughly 6 months, they are happy content before i took my children, SS got the police involved and said there is no risk from grandparents to my children he sugar coated them too filled them with poison made me out to be a liar.

Now SS said before they close the case they recommend that i go back to court to apply for a CAO but im really scared i was walked all over last time, i was lied about then too and it really puts me off even though.SS are fully on my side im scared that its going to go wrong i have not done anything bad i dont have a Criminal record i dont drink, i dont do drugs. I have never been that sort of person.

Oh dad was also in the picture at home when he lived with grandparents , he was really nasty to the girls calling them worthless peice of s***s and he was also hurting the kids too.SS said they need to write a letter tonthe court about the abuse.and.that.kids are thriving with me.

GrandPs have not even asked to see the children phoned 4 times in the last 5 months. They sold there beds they are not really interested in my.children.

Sorry about.the.essay should i go to court or is there any other way.

Grandparents are not coming to any meetings they told the SS to P Off and that he dont want nothing more to do with her and he dont want to be involved anymore

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear proudmummy1992

If your children are under a Child Arrangements Order and the other people or person with parental responsibility agree that the Order should be discharged it may not be too difficult to do so.

From what you say I understand that the whole process is a little scary for you but the children are currently in your care and this may make the process easier. You will find relevant information here and you may be able to get some legal advice here.

Best wishes

Suzie